A Lot Has Happened

Well Howdy, it's been a while since I wrote last...sorry about that but it's been a bit of a gong show here this spring...with this crappy weather, the worst spring we have ever seen in Alberta, it feels, even today, like we will never see green grass and leaves again...It's snowing here for the past couple of days...and while last week we had a few nice days where there were a few bare spots of brown earth showing through the foot of snow still on the ground, it has all been buried underneath another foot of heavy wet snow in the past two days...while it is mild...sitting just below freezing...it is very depressing.and the mud is something else....

So I think the last time I wrote we had been putting the cows through the system for vaccinations and just a couple of days ago we ran them through again to sort them into different groups to put with the bulls. It is a lengthy process...the way we do it...we spend a few days reviewing each cows history, how good her calves were with different bulls and determine the best bull to mate her too this year....we make a list which also shows the number of her calf this year..because when we sort we have to make sure the cow and her calf end up in the same pen together...so we take all the babies and put them in the barn...for safe keeping...and then the rodeo starts, sorting the cows...in the mud, where your boots get stuck in the clay and you can't move...as the cows whiz past you, covering you in muck and shit in a parting shot....they act like you are going to slit their throats...and they are all bellowing so we can't hear one another and have to shout...we started at 10 am...and were finished by 7:30 pm, only stopping for 30 minutes to have a quick lunch. but it got done and we didn't have any screw ups this year...

So we did all that on Wednesday and then Thursday morning it started snowing...and Robert had to deal with the multiple groups of cattle to feed and bed now...  Of course the whole job is made worse by the fact that all our corrals are over 16 yrs old and are starting to rot...broken boards and rotten posts, most of the gates don't swing anymore because the post they are mounted to is rotten or tilted..and the gate has to be drug along the ground...not so easy  when there is two feet of ice built up and frozen shit, or like this past week.... inches and inches of mud with frozen earth below.

We walked to the house at the end of the day like our feet were in cased in cement shoes.

I had a doctors appointment on Tuesday...and it was enlightening.  to say the least...you know how I have been complaining but my ankle since last summer, well I went to the doc to find out the result of the MRI I had gone for..and while the outcome wasn't what  I had hoped for...it has given me  a bit of focus, if nothing else...

I fractured my ankle last summer....the break and subsequent rough abnormal patching at that point, along with indications of a severe sprain...in the ligament and tendons...and am even now suffering from tendinitis in two of the major tendons of  the foot...

My doctor, seemed surprised although it was he who had first had it exrayed when it first happened...he told me I had probably pulled a muscle...take some tylenol and rest it...and I have complained about it to him on three other visits...in which he didn't even remove my sock to look at it...neither did the other two doctors I complained to .....

so on Tuesday he asks me...which orthopedic doctor did I send you to?
I said...none...
he said, I sent you for physio therapy though didn't I?
and I said. No....I have complained about it to you and others and you have just blown me off, like I was just a whiner...

to which he says, well its tendinitis, and there is not much we can do for that....but if there is arthritis there as well, which the MRI seems to indicate...they will probably fuse your ankle bones together...to stabilize it and get rid of the pain....

and he said that, like it was a threat or he was trying to scare me into not complaining about the pain anymore... I am afraid I was a bit emotional by this point.   Because I had pinned so much hope on the MRI pointing to something definitive...and it would just be a matter of fixing it and I would be better... and when he saw that I was crying he said " C-a-t-h-e-r-i-n-e, what is the matter?  and Robert spoke up and asked a question...the doc answered but that made me cry more...and he said "Now why are you crying" and I finally got Pissed Off enough to say....because I can take the diabetes shit, the blood pressure shit and the LUPUS/Not LUPUS crap....but this not being able to walk and the constant pain in my ankle is the last straw...and the thought of having this problem the rest of my life is unbearable... I have wild crazy thoughts of taking a sledge hammer and breaking it clean in half so that you will have to fix it..that is how desperate I have become and you just blow it off...I have never had trouble with my feet ever...and you all just think this problem I have had for over eight months now i because I am fat...but I knew it wasn't...

Robert asked for a copy of the MRI report...and it says a lot more on it than what he even disclosed to us... Robert has asked me to find another doctor... ours is only in the clinic one day per month now, since he wants to retire..
and it shows.

so now we just wait for the clinic to contact an orthopedic guy and make an appointment.  But I do not hold out much hope of finding a solution since my weight seems to be a stumbling block for most of these doctors.

I just want to point out that, as livestock owners, if we had a cow that we allowed to walk around for eight months on a broken foot, we would have been reported to SPCA....but we would never allow that anyway...either a vet would have been called to cast the leg or she would have been shot and put out of her misery....but it's apparently okay for the fat lady to walk around on a fractured ankle and perform all her farm duties...and I'm not suppose to complain...to say that I am a little disgust would be an understatement.

to be continued.....

Just Passing Through

Just a quick little posting before I head off to throw supper on the table...casual meal tonight, soup and homemade biscuits...

I got a call last night from the daughter of a man who I loved dearly...3 years ago Robert and I drove to PG, BC to his wife's funeral...whom I also loved dearly. they were like second parents to me and never seemed to mind my hanging out at their house with their kids, I went next door to meet with their kids and walk to school together and she knew our house so well, that there would be a fourth bowl on the table and she would serve me porridge...along with her kids...mnmmmmm   and when we were leaving she would hand me a bagged lunch just like her kids...

At her funeral, the kids I thought were great friends from childhood, didn't even recognize me...I guess the white hair threw them off, although they all looked just as old as I... but oddly enough, their 78 yr old dad, who had a major stroke and lost memory, recognized me the moment I knelt down in front of him at the funeral...he said CATHY ??... is that you little Cathy? .... and I said Yes...all choked up....then he said....She left me, Cathy, she left me all alone...Oh my god...we both cried...

See, I had a special bond with Barb and Howard....they gave me a special place to be part of a close family and I gave them help...I cleaned house, did dishes and performed personal aide for Barb..who suffered terribly with severe Endimetreosis...so at that time of the month she was more or less bed ridden and required someone to bring her towels (yes that is what she used for padding cause the bleeding was that bad).. and I helped...I admit it freaked me out at the time...I was scared I would bleed like that... but they appreciated it so much... I even fed the younger kids, KD and crap but it all helped...

Howard always made a fuss about my school work...heaping praise on me when I did well, which was often even if I do say so myself...he even held me up as an example to his two boys, who were my age...that must have been why we were so competitive with one another... Any way, it was all attention I never got at home...

And now Howard has passed away...and I can't be sad... I only feel happy for him...He's with Barb again...they were so close...

I can't go to the funeral this time, although I would like to have...busy with the cattle nearly every day right now... He'll understand I am sure..  Say hi to Barb for me Howard and have a sweet rest.

Side B

This is the flip side of a broken record...hahahaha  I whined and whined all winter about the snow and how much we wanted spring to finally arrive...and now that it sort of has....I hate it....and so does Robert....



Geese wondering where the real water is.



The snow is melting but by God...you'd hardly know it...the ground is still covered completely but there is water running underneath...and the level is going down slowly...

We had to work one group of cows today..give them their vaccinations before breeding starts...so about 50 cows went through the alley...and with it melting, it was quite a slop hole.....the first five minutes I was out there...Robert shouts at me to stand at this one gate and try to cut calves away from their mothers...who were stampeding into smaller corrals for their daily feed of grain....serious business don't ya know...god help anyone who gets in their way...a couple of braver older cows tip toed their way past me...at first...but then the push was on and a big group of them all came at once....I never got any calves cut away...but I did get covered in shit...that's right cold wet soupy muddy shit...my face...hat, sunglasses, hoody, pants... all I could say was thank God I had my mouth shut for once...and never swallowed any...

We moved the cows further down the alley system and into the working corral...I have the job of sorting the cows and rushing them up the circular alleyway to the squeeze chute...where they are caught and the sides of the chute press in with a lever to keep them from jumping around and hurting themselves...Robert administers the two shots and they are released...to go back with their calves...we had about 20 head done when they stopped coming up the alley..and I had to go back into one of the worse soup holes on the farm...the ground has been dug away from all the cattle passing through this spot...and there is a big dip there where spring run off collects...I tip toed my way to the back there...hanging onto the plank fence as I went so I didn't get stuck in the muck...or slip on the ice beneath it...quietly moved the group of cows that were left up toward the alleyway...and most of them just nicely headed up the alley themselves...but this one stupid black angus bitch..oh no she couldn't wait her turn and rather than stand nicesly she turns back...gives me the old zig zag move and rushes past me...right through the shit hole...and you guessed it...soaked me all over again...only by this time in the nice weather I had removed my already shit covered hoody and was wearing my nice clean T shirt underneath... I'll be lucky if all the stains come out...Robert laughed his ass off....and kept pointing at my back....so I craned my neck around to see what he saw...but couldn't...and made him tell me what was so bloody funny....and apparently it was just the pattern of the splatter...my front was completely covered...with the big round blotches being no more than a couple of inches apart...my hair, hat sunglasses, shirt, pants and boots...covered, but just on front...the back of me was prestine....what the hell was so funny about that I don't know... and I waved my 3 ft piece of orange hose, that I use to intimidate the cows with, at Robert and much to my surprise and later humour...a big shitty blotch of wet snow flew out of the hollow end and landed right smack dab between his eyes.... I mean.....hahahaha I couldn't have aimed any better if I had tried...hahahahha  of course I had to start running right away...but with all the snow there was no where to go...that there wasn't more shit so he caught up to me in no time and we both fell into the snow...where he,  and this is how he put it...."was just trying to help my wash my face off " by rubbing it in the wet cold snow...which much to his horror later, had kind of crystalized...and was quite sharp... so now I have two cuts on my face one across my nose and the other just under my left eye...hahahaha  they sting... and his guilt alone should be worth a meal out....

It was all in good fun though and...we get to do it all again tomorrow when we run the younger group of cows through, plus all 11 bulls....

Needless to say, now that I am in the house, clothes in the washing machine and me just out of the shower....with my stinging face, inflamed knees and slightly sun burned ears....it's not nearly so funny.....owwwweeeee...




Robert makin coffee this morning


Robert did a great thing two days ago for me, to make up for screwing up again.....poor guy, he doesn't think before he speaks...

On the phone with a dear friend of ours...(my neighbours from my first farm who have retired now)  we had called her for her birthday...Robert made the mistake of telling her we couldn't even get into our greenhouse yet never mind have plants started like she does....so she jumped on that and told him we didn't have to start any tomato plants she would give us lots.... In the back ground..I am making the slicing motion across the throat..to tell him to say no...but he thanks her and keeps on talking...so when he gets off the phone...I have my $100. worth of garden seed sitting on the table...and the packets of tomato seed and cucumber and pepper seeds there as well...and said I wanted to start my own...it is one of the few things I still enjoy doing in the garden is starting my own plants from seed...the challenge...etc....

So I don't know what will happen...but after last year where I had way to many tomato plants and we were supplying half the country with ripe tomatoes...I vowed to only plant a few plants this year....special ones...and I am sticking to that...and refusing to fill my garden with tomato plants and nothing else....so when she brings us two dozen plants (and I know she will) it will be Robert problem what to do with them...

I was a little frosted to say the least...nothing new there I know...but really...I asked him....do you even know me.... what is the one thing I have done every year of the nearly 18 we have been married....I always start my own plants no matter what the weather is like... and said...Thanks Robert...cause now I am going to come across as a bitch when I am less that ecstatic with getting her plants...

Took some pictures this morning....with this stupid camera...

Enjoy...

Missing Season

I am lamenting again, the non existent spring here...we have, in spite of slightly milder temperatures still 2 feet of snow covering every inch of the ground. Every few days it flurries just enough to cover the deck and then that melts but never the 2 feet of compressed snow underneath...ugh...Everyone is depressed and grouchy...it has been a long miserable winter and it looks to last right into full blown summer...one day there will still be snow on the ground and then a big wind will blow in over night and whammo it will be summer with balmy =20 temps and flooding everywhere. Lucky for us we live on a big hill...hahaha 

I have been chronicling my health issues since being taken off all the meds...and  ah hell I don't want to even write about it anymore...soooo sick of it all.   so I won't..

we heard crows for the first time in months just the other day but no sign of any geese or ducks yet.  soon though I would imagine.

I am busy doing nothing...reading, pulling my hair out over the income tax scramble again this year...Robert has such a willy nilly way of leaving the invoices laying around the place...that I have to go with a bag in  hand and walk through all the buildings looking for receipts...I have found invoices for salt, equipment parts and fuel in the barn, the garage, the truck and his bathroom...It pisses me off that I have to go on this Easter egg hunt every year to make sure I have all the receipts for stuff we bought...Oh yes, I have bitched at him and he gets that whipped puppy dog look on his face as if butter wouldn't melt....and then a week later he's doing it again...the man has a short memory.. or is a glutton for punishment...so I had to do the same thing with his crop insurance premiums and payout things...even the accountant was confused....and I had to come home with a big fat F for fail on my head because the numbers weren't right....and spent the next day and a half digging through Roberts files...(I use that term loosely) so I could redo my work and fax it to the accountant.  I resent the extra time it took...and I may make him take me to a movie in payment.... But I once again shake my head at how I got stuck doing this job..I hate accounting...and definitely don't remember volunteering for the position.  I do believe it was a matter of assignment by omission...I omitted to say NO so it was assumed I would do it.... or something like that...

I never thought I would crave grass to mow so badly...but there you have it...I miss mowing grass and weeding flower beds sooooo much...

It's a noisy day here to day....there are 5, yes five female cats all in heat and no Tom Cat around.... the snow has kept the Tom's bound to their own yards and they have not done much wandering this winter...I was tempted to shovel a path to one particular neighbours yard so that their orange tabby Tom would make his way to our place since I love orange kitties...and it has been years since we had anything but grey or black...but now we are limited to which ever one owns snow shoes...hahahahahaha Not sure how I will get to sleep, with the horny sluts yowling up a storm out on the deck all night. I chase them away but it doesn't last and before long they are back.   Maybe one of the bunnies hopping around the yard at night will service them...hahaha had that happen once...the kittens were all born looking like normal kittens...but they never reproduced themselves...

Well it's a slow news day when I start talking about horny cats.  Let's hope I have more to write about next time.

One Project finally Finished

I finished my latest painting today... I have, I am embarrassed to say, been working on this one since last July...I had the background completed but was procrastinating about adding the people...since I have never painted people before...I did deliberate as to what position to have them in to match my skill level and chose to put them walking away...less features to worry about I thought... so all in all it didn't turn out too bad...

This painting was finished in early July, but with the work on the murphy bed taking place just after that I wasn't sure if I bragged about this one or not...so I am adding it today...they both, of course still need to be varnished, which will enhance the colours and brighten them up considerably. but the they have to cure for a couple of months before that happens...well the one does anyway.

It is blowing and snowing a veritable blizzard out side...but luckily the temperature is at 0... but there is still a wind chill...

The new meds for bone growth is a drag.... there was purging  and now a general feeling of nausea....bloating and blah......blah blah blah....  

I had a humiliating thing happen to me a couple of days ago, while filling the prescription for the Fossomax (bone growth drug)... while the pharmacist asked me to list my health issues...(she was updating my file)...I became overwhelmed by all the things that are happening to me and broke down...yes...the ugly lip quivering cry and tears...I believe there was even sobbing... thankfully there was a bit of privacy..since they do have a small cubicle that you can have pharmaceutical consults with the pharmacists in... I was surprised by my emotional state, since I thought I was handling it all fairly well...hahahahaha.... I guess I will have to send Robert to the pharmacy for a few weeks until I get over my embarrassment...

Any way enjoy the paintings...and to see others check out my gallery at flickr...just click on the link on the right side of this posting...c u at my gallery.

Random Thoughts for the Day

 Yesterday, while preparing breakfast, Robert and I were watching some news on TV and it just happened that Stephen Harper was on the tube, talking about Lybia...We both chuckled to ourselves...after Robert said, "there's helmut head".  Now anyone knowing Robert would find that hilarious because he very rarely says mean things about people...but we find STEVIE's hair style horribly annoying...it looks like it's painted on...never a miniscule hair out of place...no movement what so ever....which always reminds us of a line by one of our favorite comedians...RON JAMES...while he was doing a show in Calgary...he was talking about politicians...and since it was Calgary he spoke about Harper...and this is what he said, hahahahaha " and hey what about that Stephen Harper....man, I've seen more hair move on a plastic KEN doll..."  OMG that still cracks me up...because it is sooooooooo true... the mans hair never moves...doesn't he know that looking a little mussed or letting his hair blow about a bit would only make him seem a bit more human and a lot less robotic....just saying Steph...

The MRI went well, but I won't hear the results until next week...it was funny though...they set my appointment for 9:30 pm but I was there by 8:30 and they took me in right away...they strapped my lower left leg into this plastic channel with foam in it...it was pretty tight...then they lift the bottom panel until it has forced your foot to be at a perfect 90* angle from your leg...they then strapped your leg and foot in with three straps and velcro...to completely imobilize it...the other leg and foot lays unattended on the bench...the nurse loomed over me and placed a hair net on my head, followed by an ancient set of ear phones...she then shouts in my face...that I am to lay perfectly still and DO NOT MOVE YOUR LEG, the machine will make a lot of loud noise but I was to just listen to the music from the ear phones, through which they would also communicate with me...they both then left the room and the music started....

Blaring loud, 70's music...disco, the kind that makes ya wanna DANCE.....for god's sake...why would they chose that type of music...classical would have been a much better choice...the machine starts up and boy, they weren't joking about the noise....the bench I was lying on vibrated...as the machine inside the cone started spinning...there was loud banging noises and after a few minutes it would stop...the nurse would say, another 3 minutes....and it would start again...then it switched to a syren noise....beep beep beep beep...like an alarm...and I am wondering...uhhhhhh hello, is thing malfunctioning or what...but the said nothing..and soon the banging started again...but that was all the least of my problems...because the moment my mind became distracted by the noise my bloody foot wanted to move....no kidding it was like it belonged to someone else and if I didn't focus on it 100 % the damn thing started twitching and the muscles started to tighten and ready for movement....by the time it was finally done...I had broken into a cold clammy sweat....hahahaha and to add injury to insult, when taking my ankle out of the brace...the nurse gave it a yank and hurt the f'ing thing.... I yelped and she gasped...and then apologized profusely but the damage was still done...and so after walking in there without limping, I hobbled out holding the walls...got my jacket and shoes on...down the short hall and opened the heavy sound deadening steel door between that lab and the waiting room where Robert awaited my return...only to have the thing (heavier than I expected, thus when I swung it open it didn't go as far as I had thought it would) start shutting on me before I was all the way through...it hit my left shoulder with a thud...and jarred me so suddenly that my back spasmed...and I doubled over from the waist down...frozen...while the 400 lb door was squeezing the air out of me...Robert jumped up to get the door...but I yelled don't touch me...I still couldn't move, my back was still locked up...the nurse behind the reception desk started to come over...and I choked out..." I'm fine...it's just my back... I'm fine".......and soon the muscles relaxed and I could straighten out again...I was horribly embarrassed...and Robert was furious...because I have  had this problem with my back for nearly two years now and none of the doctors seem to take it seriously.  He said I should have screamed and fell to the floor and they would have taken me to emerg...and looked at my back....maybe I would have got some results from these Edmonton doctors...  I didn't think of that at the time...the spasms happen so suddenly and unexpectedly that you don't have time to plan...ahahahhaha  I thought that the extra excersise  I am doing was helping but the problem is still there...

I also got a call from my fam. doc about the results of my recent bone density scan I had done... not that great...I am at a mid to low risk of bone fracture and am considered osteopenic....which is the level below having osteoperosis... thanks mom...and I would take this moment to give a shout out to all my sisters: OUR MOTHER HAD OSTEOPEROSIS,  it is highly hereditary on the female side of families...so you should all be taking calcium suppliments and drinking milk...and having bone density scans done periodically...

So the doc started me on some crap medication to help build up the strength in my bones, I took some shit a few years back but it made me deathly sick to my stomach...so I quit taking it...this new drug is a better class....allegedly..and I only have to take it once a week rather than daily... so the vomitting and diahrea will only be once a week...anyway...you have to get up early in the morning, take this pill with a full glass of water and no food for at least 30 minutes...preferably 1-2 hours...since the longer you can go with out eating afterwards the less stomach upset will occur...but being diabetic...and having just awoken after an 11 hour fast...waiting another two hours to eat is not working so good for me this morning...my stomach feels like a toilet bowl at the moment of first flush..when the water starts swirling around and around and a definite downward momentum begins....ugh....my hands are shaky now and I feel a bit light headed so I think my waiting is over and I am about to eat my first food of the day...before I pass out from low blood sugar...hahahaha  not a laughing matter either... 

Yes, It's THAT Day again

March 16 th.... baby David's 32nd birthday...seems odd to still think of him as a baby...when he  would be a full grown man...

Today is a momentous day for me...not just my deceased sons birthday but my lovely sister Leslies birthday as well...

and the day I finally go for the MRI of my ankle...I am scary excited about going because I have all my hopes pinned on it showing something the matter with my ankle that they can fix....I  am sick to my stomach thinking that it won't show anything... so wish me luck...

I am determined to make this day a good and memorable one... so there....