Boy oh Boy

Wow, it's been a while since I was last on here... sorry about that..I am in the final push to complete this genie project and deliver it.  I am convinced now that I will never volunteer my services again...unless I get paid better...I am already in the hole for materials alone so at this point my services are probono.  

Crazy weather here...so warm last week this week near freezing and back into hoodie weather.  My greenhouse is coming along, with R's germ testing completed and out of my hair..I have more room for flowers now...but things are a wee bit behind where they should be, probably a good thing we are in for a late spring, my plants should be ready when the weather finally turns nice in late may....hahahaha

I am urging R to get into farmer mode...get your grain cleaned, service the field equipment...I am that little voice in his head....that just won't leave him alone...ahahahhah he tells me to hound him like that so he remembers...I never used to be a nag, really !

I am heading to bed, my eyeballs feel like my eyelids are lined with sandpaper. too much ready...

Stupid Award of the Month !

Everyone has heard the saying that alchohol impairs your judgement..well here is a perfect example.  Friends of ours have recently loaned their 49 yr old son close to a hundred thousand dollars (nearly their entire life savings) to bail his failing landscaping/backhoe business out of receivership. I have issues with adult children bleeding their parents dry...but we won't get into that right now. 

So his business relies on his ability to drive himself to the jobsite...so one would think that he would be extra careful not to jeopardize  his drivers license in any way, right.
Well he and his wife were at a house party a month ago and both of them got very drunk...now any person with a little forsight would have forseen that very thing happening and made contingency plans...like one of them not drinking, or having a sober friend drive them home...or this would be my plan....take your holiday trailer and just stay overnight...that way you can enjoy youself to your hearts content and just sleep it off...but ...they didn't have a plan...well...no not really...In the wee hours of the morning..they realized shouldn't drive all the way home...so they tried to call a cab....with no success...so the dumb ass leaves his wife staggering around at the party...and drives into town to look for the cab....(small town, only one cab)  and surprise, surprise...he got pulled over and arrested for drunk driving...they drove him to another small town...to have him blow the breathalizer...(not sure why another town) and it was way over....so automatic 3 month suspension...(not the first time either)  and because he gave a lot of lip to the cop...it may be longer.  Now he has had to hire someone and pay them 12.50/hr to drive him from job to job....and apparently it is not going so well...personality clash with the guy he hired...  Stupid, Stupid....Stupid... You know I have said a lot about my son's inability to think far enough ahead to the consequences of ones actions but in comparison, my son is an Einstein....ahahahaha  Sorry Rob for all the trashing I did.  You're a good man.

We had a bit of a shower the other day, just enough to cut the dust for a day but the grass has got a bit of a green tinge to it now and some of the trees leaf buds are swelling, so maybe in another week we will see that light lemony green of spring foilage showing itself. I love all the shades of green in spring. 

I think I may have R convinced to buy our first barbeque next week after having steak off the barby last night at our friends on the lake....it was very good...we usually only get barbequed steak once a year...when we go to their house...so we shall see if he takes the plunge and we buy a barbeque...mmmmmmmmmmmm

I had greenhouse envy yesterday after seeing her new greenhouse and all her lovely plants growing in it....makes my greenhouse look like a shanty shack...oh well...it would just mean more work...if I had a better one...I would have to plant more things...ahhahaha I am sure getting lazy in my middle age..

well I am off to stick the chicken in the oven....R brought a roasting chicken in from the freezer this morning and asked if I could cook it for supper....how do you say no...I was just going to give him leftover pizza ahahahahahhaha  now I have to work...

ODD

Huh, oddly enough I have spent all day waiting for something else to happen and even though I realize it is completely twisted, I have to admit to being a bit disappointed...ahahahaha Oh My God, I have become addicted to the roller coaster ride again !!!!  I hate the roller coaster....the ups and downs...sounds scarily like Bi-Polarism to me...

R was kind enough to help me in the yard this morning...I have had to dig up and divide these damned Iris's for the past two years...last year they didn't even bloom and they are so much work...cutting off the dead grassy leafs, cutting off the seed pods before they split and spill the seeds...and then the dividing every two years..

 I decided I hate them and wanted them removed...well...what an episode that was...we had to spades and an axe but we got them out finally and R didn't want to just throw them away...so we planted them along a row of lilacs...

While R was digging the holes for the plant balls, I was throwing a stick for the dogs and I threw it a bit high this once and by some fluke came very close to a mother squirrel we didn't realize was in the tree above us...the first we knew of her being there was her coming screeching down the tree trunk...chattering away and she ran straight at our yellow dog....it was hilarious (I can say that since it wasn't me she attacked)  he ran, his ears pinned back on his head and his tail tucked between his legs...then the other dog clued into what was going on (he's pretty not smart) and gave chase...dog, squirrel and another dog...hahahah quite a sight. R was laughing too. Soon the dogs both realized that it was a squirrel, after all, and both started chasing, it ran up a conveinient tree and made her escape...I threw the stick again but she had had enough..and soon was making her way, via the trees to another part of the yard...the dogs following on the ground...but she eventually gave them the slip..

It is another crazy windy day here...and the grass is getting browner if that is possible...usually it turns green for a bit but barely a blade of grass has turned green so far ..the air is filled with smoke from the huge grass fire on the Paul Band native reserve I told you about before just west of Edmonton...the fire there flared up again yesterday and is still burning...they have lost a dozen or so homes and buildings.... and are using water bombers today...  I started a bunch more seed for R this morning and my greenhouse has officially been taken over by germination tests....he says just think of the money I am saving doing them myself...and I say just think of the flowers I could grow in their place...

Yesterday I discovered that the deer were in the yard this spring and ate the ends off of every branch on my favorite shrub...a purple leafed sandcherry...i actually got a couple of cherries off of it last summer and they were delicious...

I had high hopes for this year..but now...???? I am going to move my chive plants closer to the door nearest the kitchen tomorrow..so that I remember to use them.hahaha

I want to paint so badly that I dreamed about it last night...it has been nearly two months since I even held a brush....it is a craving now...I must paint...

Sweet Jesus, come take me away !!!

I start off this posting with  laughter...hahahahahhahahahaha   because I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Honest to God, I am not sure what exactly R and I did to piss the Powers That BE off but man are we getting some really bad karmic revenge....

If you've been reading this blog for a while you will know that things haven't been going exactly smoothly here on the farm for us so far this spring.  Hahaha  and so you shouldn't really be all that shocked to hear that a couple more crazy things happened today...

The new bull we bought back in February has been out with his little harem for over a week now and he has been a very busy boy, or so we thought.... I noticed a couple of days ago that his sheath...where his penis comes out of his body...was all swollen looking...and today R finally took a closer look...and it is very swollen..and sore and he is no longer able or willing to retract it and his penis will not protrude.   So we hauled him into town to the vet clinic and they examined him closely and the result was that he has torn the inside of the sheath and it is infected...he is out of commission for at least 6 weeks and probably for good...as in unable to breed... R is to treat him for the infection and in 6 wks. the vet will re-examine him. if at that time he is still no good, the bull will be sold and the insurance will re-imburse us the balance of what we paid for the bull after deducting what we got for him at the auction mart.  Thank God we had insurance on him but I would have much rather had the bull in good health. 

I don't know why I even bothered to make up a breeding list... I mean really, after our other bull died and we had to re-assign his cows to other bulls, and now this ones cows will have to be assigned to new bulls, because we aren't even sure how many of them he managed to breed in the short time he was out there and was still in working order....arggghhhhh.... frustrating is only the half of it, at this point I would sign the whole f'ing place over to the first person to walk by if I thought we could find a job and still manage to spend time together... I just want the cows to get bred, I don't care to whom they do it with at this point.   I just told R though, when he asked who to put the heifers this bull had with, to which bull they should go now...to just remember...that a quick decision based on the easiest thing to do right now could come back to bite him in the ass when he's calving those heifers out next spring...of course that is assuming we have any cows left by this winter...if we don't get any moisture soon we will not bother seeding any crop and no crop means no feed for the cows this winter...which means selling them off... which will send R's life into a tail spin.

I just can't shake the feeling of being under the BIG Thumb....

 Oh ya and to make a great day even lovelier...I sprained my finger...right hand, the finger next to my pinkie....I was clearing dead foilage off the perenial bed and lost my balance, the wind was very bad today again...I put my hand down to keep from falling backwards and all the fingers except for that one landed in the soft soil, that one was on a root or something and was bent back too far....it hurt a bit when it first happened and then I got busy watering...and never noticed until I went to go inside and tried to take my gloves off...that one wouldn't come off and when I grabbed the end of the fingers of the glove and yanked ...it hurt like a bitch...I finally peeled it off and my hand was all swollen and it hurt to move that finger.  I have this (sticky like bees wax) steroidal ointment for my arthritis and R insisted on rubbing that on my hand....I had to sit on my other hand to keep from punching him in the face while he was rubbing (quite vigorously) that shit onto my bloody finger. I know he thought he was helping but Christ Almighty...I had to restrain myself... and it didn't even help....not a tingle or a warming sensation...nothing...it still hurts and is still swollen only now it's turning a bit blue...and after rubbing that gunk on my hand R insisted on making us a cup of tea....because his parents were British and a cup'a always makes the world right. so he kindly made us both a cup of tea.

..but it tasted funny...no, actually it tasted grosse because he forgot to wash his hands off and had that steroidal ointment all over the handles and rims of our cups....Jesus, Joseph and Mary...the day was like an old Jerry Lewis movie.... I finally just sent him outside to treat the bull with penicillan and took a tylenol..

Days like this make me question my ability to endure the rest of the year...can't we just fast forward to Dec. 31 and start 2011 off with a bit more sanity.  Oh my god I dread what the remainder of the year has in store for us... I am waving my white flag already...

Ahhhh A Day at Home !

Finally a day to spend at home with nothing looming on the horizon to take me away.  I puttered in the greenhouse this morning while R put the water filter we purchased on the water line...had to shut the water off to the house all morning while he did that but he got it done and it works...no silt in the water coming into the house..now tomorrow we will raise the pump in the well another 20 feet and see if that solves the problem...the guy we had lined up to come and do the work called and cancelled so we will do it ourselves, it truely is amazing what one can learn on the internet. and no that doesn't mean I've changed my mind about technology.

So once the water was back on I proceeded to do the two heaping laundry baskets of dirty clothes that had accumulated while I was protesting the use of dirty water in my swanky year old machine and had gone on a laundry strike

...the lines were so clogged with silt it kept telling me there was no water...ahahahahhaha I couldn't just throw a load in and go out to work in the yard...I had to stay right there to shut it off ...and it was really getting on my nerves...so I used the old guilt trip...."if it was one of your machines you would have fixed it ages ago...."  and it worked...most effectively, I think.hahahahaha

we had breakfast so late this morning we called it brunch and then R came in around 3:30 for a cup of tea and a sandwich...and now our meal time is screwed up so we are just planning to have cheese and crackers with a plate of fruit for our late supper...the longer it stays light out the later our supper gets...I just go ahead now and eat on my own...because I refuse to eat after 8 pm. Now R is having his supper the past week around 9:30 at night...geeez  That's what he used to do to me before I got sick...we would have breakfast and head out to the field to fix something....and he wouldn't want to quit until we were done...so we wouldn't eat until really late... I started packing a lunch and those were the days we would be done in time for lunch and be at home...so I packed the lunch for nothing...and then when I didn't that was the day we were out there for 12 hours....I couldn't predict when he was going to do it. Argggghhh !

It has been extremely warm here the past few days, over 20 degrees now and I find that insanely warm for this time of year...the grass is brown and crackles underfoot, and there was a huge fire along the yellowhead highway yesterday. We saw the fire and smoke on our way in to Spruce Grove with our friends to see the movie...There were helicoptors and water trucks everywhere...but the fire stretched for miles on an indian reserve...I bet the government pays for the fire fighting....our friends a few miles away from here had a brush with a grass fire their neighbour's winter burning a brush pile flared up with the high winds one day and burned his entire quarter of land and over half another neighbours before the fire departments got the fire out...scary.. but they have the bill already and it is over 10,000. dollars for the three different fire departments that showed up...yikes....but the natives will get their bill paid for I bet...like everything else.

The movie we saw was hilarious....DATE NIGHT, with tina fey and steve corell...from 40 yr old virgin...hilarious....it was a great day all around...I hope we do it again some day. 

I have exterminated at least 10 spiders in the house today..I am not sure where they are coming from but I hate spiders...they bite. mostly R and then I have to listen to how it itches and stings...and is swollen and booooohoooooo....I don't sound very sympathetic do I?  oh dear, poor R.  I was actually enjoying a nice soak in my big tub with clean water (I hadn't used the tub for a while because I refuse to sit in dirty water)  and I was just dozing  when I happened to glance up and see this huge (well okay not huge but pretty big) spider rapelling down from the ceiling towards me...

guess what I did....no I didn't jump up and scream like a girl, like I have seen some people do and I won't mention any names (see I can be sensitive) ....I casually waited until he was within striking distance and then   WHAMMMMMM, I let him have it...with my pocket book...he went flying onto the floor and I quickly dropped the afore mentioned pocket book on top of him...I cleaned the carnage up later when I finished my bath...ahahahahah

Oh the things we hillbillies have to do to amuse ourselves...ahahaha

Oh Bother

Today, to try to convince you all that I am not losing my mind I will attempt to talk of more normal mundane things....hmmmm let's see...

It is already past the middle of the month and all the tasks I had hoped to accomplish this month are, for the most part undone.  I did however start a lot of seeds in the cold house: tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, and my flowers of course, which are the real reason I even have a greenhouse. I also started a flat of barley and oats for R, as a germination test before he has the seed cleaned for sowing the crop this spring.  I had to finally put a heater in there though as it was cold enough at night that nothing was sprouting...so now I have some flowers popping up and the barley and oats are at last making a showing. I am having trouble getting into the rythm of it all this year and forget to open the vents or turn the lights on, oh the countless second trips I have had to make so far...and the biggest job is yet to come...once things are all up, transplanting into bigger pots takes days...why not just seed into the big pots to begin with you might ask....well, as odd as it may seem, the seeds seem to sense that and do not grow...they like small containers to begin with. I am not kidding...just try it...and if the seed does grow the plant will be tall and spindley... just like if you use a white plant pot the plants will not thrive...as the roots will not fill out in the pot...they will not grow towards the white insides of the pot...if you ever buy a white pot make sure it has a darker colour on the inside.

Friends of ours called yesterday morning to invite us to join them in attending a movie and having dinner afterwards...I am soooooo happy...as this sort of invitation rarely happens for us...I am not sure why...Robert says I intimidate people...I don't know if that is true or not but I am over the moon about the invite...it should be loads of fun...

We are going to get our well fixed this weekend and hopefully that will end the silt problem, now that everything is coated with silt it will take me days to get all the fixtures and appliances clean again.  but at least I can use my fancy washing machine again and not worry about what the silt is doing to the valves...have I ever mentioned that I love my electrolux washer and dryer...if they were boys I would date them....ahhahahah
they are the tall dark and silent type...

I started doing yard clean up yesterday and am stymied as to how I have managed it all in the past...I must be particularly tired this spring because it all seems overwhelming to me at present.  maybe if I am really nice for a change, R will help me in the mornings.  Keep your fingers crossed..

Well I am off to start getting pimped up for our group date... Im thinking yoga pants and a tunic top...but maybe jeans and a blouse will do just as well...I'll have to see what feels right today...I am not sure how to cover the blisters on my face....hahahaha too much sun again out in the yard yesterday.   see ya.

I Need Help, I Think

Okay, so this has been another busy week...was I complaining not that long ago that nothing ever happens here....be careful what you wish for should be my new motto.

The trip to Ponoka went smoothly, not like last time when R unloaded the cows and the last one off the trailer aimed projectile nervous runny manure at him...he was covered from head to toe with it and it reeked...all he had for a change of clothes was a pair of grease stained coveralls in the truck...which he intended to wear the rest of the day in the city, where we were heading after the auction mart...hahahaha I convinced him they would not let him into the restaurant dressed in those so he bought a pair of cotton slacks and a t shirt...ahhahaha he kept complaining about having to spend the money for clothes and I just said...he should have put the coveralls on before unloading then...

so from Ponoka on  tuesday we got home about 10 pm....and then were up again wednesday morning  bright and early to drive right back to the city for a doctor's appointment.  I was stressing out about this one because I had decided to get a bit aggressive with the doctor about my frustration with her and ask a bunch of tough questions about the reason I am taking these meds as well as the fact that I feel like I am getting the brush off between her and my family doc....when I bring up an issue I am having she says to talk to my fam. doc.  and when I bring it up with him he says to talk to my rheumatologist....arggghhhhh  how the hell am I suppose to know what to do, if they don't know what to do...sometimes, well actually most of the time...I just want to stop taking all the meds and let what happens happen. Probably nothing will, at least that is my theory.. I should never go to another doctor...and some day I will just drop dead...like we all will eventually anyway and then problem solved.... anyway I digress.

So the doctors appointment was as frustrating and a complete waste of time and money, just like I expected...she  told me she suspects I have fibromyalgia as well as Lupus....huh...I put my hand up to stop her talking and said I refuse to even acknowledge the fact that I have that...ten years ago I was sent to a pain specialist in the city( an asian doctor) and it was the most humiliating experience of my life... he walked into the room, asked me how much I weighted...hit my knee with a hammer, read over the letter my fam.doc. had sent with me...listing my pain issues and then he looked up and said, and I quote: " you don't have fibromyalgia, there isn't anything wrong with you that losing a hundred pounds or two wouldn't cure." end quote. I would have weighted about ten pounds if I did that.  

I told her that whether I have Fibromyalgia or not I don't want to know... I am not going to anymore specialists so just forget it.  By the time I got out of there I was so frustrated I could have screamed... I walked back to the truck...and R and I headed to IKEA..

..not R's best idea....(just for the record I loathe IKEA, not the stuff so much but the actual store and it's set up, that once they have you in the door you can't get back out without going through the store from start to finish...like a rat in a maze...

one way in one way out...)  So we were looking for office storage solutions...and we didn't have to walk to far into the store to find that section...there was very little selection and none of it what we were looking for...so I turned to go back out...and R said there are no stairs and the escalator was one way... (going down the escalator the wrong way was not an option...did that when I was teenager and it didn't end well) so I am once again....FRUSTRATED, and getting angrier...and the old demon claustrophobia kicks in and voila....a panic attack...and not just a little one...A MAJOR one... crying, shouting, pleading with R to get me the hell out of the store and he just stood there, either frozen in fear for his life or stunned by my bad behavior and trying to pretend he didn't know me...I still haven't figured out which...maybe both. I ended up power walking and even breaking into a run a couple of times, through the maze and found some stairs that took me downstairs to the ground level...I think they were for staff.  I didn't care...I zig zagged through all the nick nack shit that seemed never ending and saw a sign that said checkouts...I believe I ran in that direction....by this time I was gasping and crying and making a general "cake" of myself.  and finally I could see beyond the checkout lines, windows to the outside....I vaguely remember elbowing a couple of old ladies out of the way while they stood in line at the cashier...and made my way to the exit...once outside...I slowed down and finally stopped, gasping for fresh air..I eventually turned around to look for R and he was standing a few feet away... looking embarassed.  I bet he was, so was I...and still angry, however I never said a word....and we walked across the parking lot (R likes to park at the farthest possible point from the door) our truck...he got in and started it right away but I was reluctant to be inside ...so I just stood outside letting the hurricane force wind that was blowing that day, whip past me and dry the tears streaming down my face.... I have always had a problem with being in confined spaces...and I had felt so trapped and out of control there in the store...when I eventually got into the truck...I put my seat belt on and quietly asked "Please never make me go to that store again, please". I had told him I didn't think they would have what I was looking for...but he insisted we check it out.

I had had a slight problem the last time we had been there several years ago...and combined with the frustration and negative feelings I was having that day with the doctor it just wasn't a good combination. I am not kidding, they virtually keep you a prisoner hoping that while you tread the mile or two meandering pathway through their store you will surely find something you just can't live without....have I mentioned how much I hate shopping even on the best of days.  

Needless to say, I was emotionally drained and teetered on the edge of tears the rest of the day.  I told R I didn't want to look for the office stuff anymore...that in fact if we were totally honest with ourselves we really couldn't afford it anyway.

At the end of the day before we headed home we stopped for supper at our favorite Chinese...but R had arranged to meet friends there...and they were there when we arrived. The woman is a smarmy bitch, who loves to rub her children and grandchildren in my face....she always brings her grannies brag book of photo's to show off her two new grand babies...( you may think I am just being over sensitive here but wait, I have a reason) after showing me the pics and bragging how smart he two little grand babies are, they are either crawling early or talking already or just the most beautiful babies in the world...then she looks up and asks "how's junior?"  (she means my son, she calls him junior because his name is Rob and so is R's)  Like she doesn't know I haven't heard from him in months and that I haven't seen him in over a year...and he only lives a half an hour away....and that he doesn't have plans to ever have children with his partner. She goes on about how lovely her daughter in law is and how special her son treats her....She knows my sons partner doesn't like me....and so on and so on....by the time we had ordered our food...I wanted to push her off her chair and shout "shut the fuck up you fat cow...."  and R said before we got there that we weren't going to tell them about our Bull dying and all the problems we were having lately...because she is a notorious gossip and that everyone she knows will hear about our misfortune...but then while we were eating...what does he do....he tells them....everything...even about my panic attack in the store that day.... and then he could tell I was pissed off, I was shoving food in my mouth to keep from saying something spitefull....so he started moving the plates of food to the far side of the table...out of my reach.... OMG I got up and walked outside...they left and I got in the truck when R unlocked it...I never said a word...and when he stopped at walmart to grab some milk....what does he do...buys me a chocolate bar.....arrrgggghhhhhh...  I am going to stop now...this is turning into a R bashing session....I didn't want it to.. but some times the man can be so obtuse....

The moral of this story...if you don't want to see a grown woman cry...or get pushed off your chair... never take me to IKEA....ahahahahhaha   I am fine now....no really...

What a Horror Show

To say my life is one big contradiction would be an over statement, but it certainly has it's moments.  Yesterday was great day and a horrible day, I had to dispose of not just one calf but two...Although by the time I did the second one (which was in very bad shape) I felt mostly despair and relief. The calf was so sick it ground it's teeth in pain all day. It made my stomach turn to think how it had been suffering before I convinced R that it was the only humaine thing to do. Otherwise we would have had to haul it to town and pay the vet $200. to euthenize it. As I knew would happen, I bawled after each one.  It didn't help that R was so sympathetic about my having to do it.  He has never fired a gun and is not willing to learn.

The weather here has been terrible...oh...it is warm enough for this time of year but the wind is ridiculous...last week it blew for 5 days straight...like a hurricane...80km winds from the northwest....a bit of snow but not much...It is so dry here that it was like a sand storm with the dry soil blowing for miles....then yesterday... the morning was nice...and then the wind picked up from the southeast this time and tried to blow all our soil back...50-60km winds we spent two days last week removing trees from the fences and repairing things that blew down in the wind...and yesterday more wind fence..(planks nailed upright to cut the wind down for the cattle to hide behind during storms) blew down in one of the pens and cattle escaped their confines. R and I had to use the tractor to hold the fence panels up while we not only nailed them back in place but then wired them to the posts so they would not blow off in future..it took all afternoon...because it was a 40 ft. section that blew down... the posts rot over the years and don't hold nails like they used to.  The whole damn place is falling down around our ears...and only brings home to me the fact that since I am not as able to work outside in the daytime...a lot less of that type of repair work is getting done, with R having to shoulder most of the chores and field work he has no time for the lesser important stuff...Prioritizing the jobs has become a big thing here.  We could clone ourselves and get more done, but then R would just have two crippled wives to support.

I am desparate to finish this genealogy project I have been working on so that I can start painting again...since being a gemini, I have to keep a close tab on how many projects I have on the go at one time..because it can get out of hand very quickly and then I feel too much pressure...ahahahahaha what a nut case...

The only good thing that happened yesterday was that I got to spend hours with R again and it just reminded me how much I love him and love working with him...we make a good team and got a lot done...

Today we are hauling some cull cows to Ponoka...to the auction mart.  These are cows that were open last fall when the cows came home from pasture and R decided to feed them and sell them for slaughter.   They have been on heavy feed all winter and spring and are very fat...hopefully they bring over 50 cents / lb. and will pay for the feed they consumed.other wise it just ends up being a make work project..and R doesn't need more work. So on this road trip (because it is about 3 hours drive there and 3 back) I try to take some interesting reading and read aloud to R, who doesn't have a lot of time to read anymore...although he loves to read..poor guy... last winter I read Barack Obama's books to him...today I hope to read him his great aunt Fanny's diary..about homesteading in southern Alberta in 1892. It is hilariously funny and sad and makes you really appreciate the modern convienences...I can tell  you....

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment in the city....and I have decided I am done being nicey nicey..and am just going to tell her how much I hate being passed off from one doc to the next...I want solutions not more bloody meds.

Here's a funny story...yesterday after I came back to the house I changed into a pair of pJ's  with a little spaghetti strap cammisole top... the kind you have to wear a bra with to make it fit right...or at least the kind you have to wear a bra with if you are middle aged and losing the battle with gravity...hahahaha    anyway, it is quite impressive even if I do say so myself...when I have one on...ahahaha   so I was making R a quick sandwich before he went to start feeding bales. and he comes in and his eyes were glued to my perkiness...aahahahahha  so much so that he put the tea pot in the fridge and turned the kettle on without putting water in it...ahahahhaha...poor guy... I had to take pity on him and put a sweater on until we sitting at the table... when he was heading back outside he thanked me...ahahahah for the cleavage "a balm to his weary spirit" he said...Oh if only it were that easy for me to feel rejuvenated, with the sight of a tight ass or muscled chest...

Times LIke These

God, it's times like this I have to ask myself why I started this blog again....the days just fly by and I feel pressured to write something..hahahaha and it's all from me...that's the kicker.

Yesterday, I had a bit of a melt down...the stress builds for me and like the lid on a bad jar of tomatoes...sooner or later it's gonna blow. hahaha

So today, I am in more of a zen phase which is good since R and I are working our crazy cows again. This time no needles...just sorting them into different pens for breeding with particular bulls. It is fullfilling our God craving.. We pick which bull gets which cows and wait 9 months to see the results...sometimes it good, sometimes not so much.

The day started out great...R and I were on the same page..as per how to proceed...really things went along swimmingly until we got to the yearlings...(the teenagers of the cow world), rebellious, moody and highstrung...they don't want to be split up, where one goes they all go...at once...even if the gate isn't open...sigh.....get my drift.   bloody little twats...we had to bring them back in and start all over...but finally...R and I demonstrated why humans are at the top of the food chain...and out smarted them.

I watched the funniest thing happen when I was in the house after having finished...R was out with the tractor feeding the different bunches...and the bunch he was with at this time had followed down a bit of a hill, when a few straggler calves from that bunch came down another hill from the corrals and couldn't see the rest of their little herd over the rise so they ran down along the main fence and out the gate R had come into the pen through, across a bale yard and along another fence and then panic set in and they went through the wires..and in with a different bunch of cows...not the one thier mothers were in...so tonight there will be bellowing and I won't get any sleep...until R goes out in the morning and re sorts the buggers. I sometimes wonder why we bother...

I contemplate whether I should tell you this next bit of info..but I think it is the only way to give you the true picture of my life...so I will disclose these details and hope you don't think any less of me with the telling.

Tomorrow I have to shoot a calf...it was injured a month ago when its mother was fighting with another cow and trampled it. It has just slowly been going down hill and now can no longer get up on its feet. The cow barely looks after it and it is very sad...the kindest thing to do is do it in. so I will make a little walk down the hill and put it to rest.  Another pebble on my scale of heaven verses hell for my final destination... I am afraid I am going to burn in hell for eternity for all the kittens, porcupines and what not that I have terminated... I don't do that stuff lightly, only with good reason.. I mean someone has to put a limit on things or the world would look like the grounds of the University of Victoria...over run with waskilly wabbits.  when I do this sort of thing...I always end up bawling my eyes out...I don't do it because I like to KILL things, good god it's just the opposite... I cry when baby calves are born dead...when our cats get run over on the road, when bulls die...and when birds break their necks flying into my windows....I even bury them... Last summer a humming bird was chased by a male hummer into my greenhouse...I still had screens on the windows then and he flew in through the door...I found it dead in there later that day...probably from heat exhaustion...I cried and then ripped the screens off the windows so I wouldn't be the cause of anymore birds dying...

Well I am beat...and am heading to bed.  I taped the movie documentary FOOD INC. tonight, if you get a chance to see it please do...it is all about factory farms...and the obliteration of the humain family farm.

More Later, I Promise..

My day was busy today...had company first thing this morning...went for a hair cut...to town for a parcel...lunch, baked  12 loaves of bread and 4 dozen buns, made chicken soup and catalogued some books...wow... no wonder I am beat.  Had abad storm blow through today...super windy and snow...it was a blizzard for a while..it is still really windy but the snow has stopped...we watched what snow did fall blow across the fields to the neighbours...

hope to tomorrow is a bit slower....the bread smells sooooooo good though...sorry you can't smell it.

A Quieter Day

Our new bull arrived today. The gent who delivered him brought his 1 1/2 yr old grandson with him...and the little knipper proceeded to smear cream cheese icing all over my table cloth...on purpose...he then poured his small glass of water on the placemat and with his hand smeared it all over the table as well...there was crap all over the floor, the chair and the granddad. I had given him a pail of matchbox cars to play with and he promptly pulled the rubber wheels off of one and swallowed it.  Good grief...I couldn't believe that the kid got into so much mischief is such a short time...they were only in the house for 15 minutes and when he left it was like there had been a small tornado go through the house..  But the bull looks good, so we gave him his double shot of vaccine and put him in a pen with one of our yearling bull we raised.

I made a nice roast chicken dinner today..since we ate out yesterday and had no leftovers of our own...I decided to spoil R and make him his favorite meal...it was good..

I also made a really nice cake this morning in preparation of the bull delivery...it was from the splenda cook book...and was delicious...it had pumpkin puree from the garden in it as well as prune puree, raisins and molassess. hahahammmmmmmmmmmhmmmm
with cream cheese icing of course....scrumptious.

We are hauling some fat cows down to Ponoka tomorrow...R has been feeding them all winter...and my god are they fat...hopefully they are still worth something...I need to pay the accountant.

Good luck to jen with her co-habitation experiment.  Anyone would be lucky to have the chance to be her mate.

Boy, What a Marathon

Well, that was a long day...R and I were up at 6 and outside by 7am. We started with the bulls since they are the ones most at risk of getting red water disease. Then the older cows, younger cows and lastly the yearling heifers.  160 head...and we were done by 6 pm. and stopped for an hour and a half lunch.  Not bad for two old giesers. The baby calves will get their shots at the regular time but will have to have a double dose...just like the cows did. and that will have to be the normal regime here from now on.

Apparently Red Water Disease is a fairly common illness in deer and elk, and they are one of the major spreaders of the spores. They also die from it.

It is just really frustrating that no matter how dilligent and devoted R and I are to maintaining herd health there is always something just waiting in the wings to slap us across the face...  The vaccine we use to treat the cows...to prevent this sort of shit from happening is the 8 way blackleg vaccine...if you read the label...red water disease or (bacillary hemoglobinuria) is one of the diseases it should prevent. but the recommended dose does not protect them if they are exposed to the spores...duhhhhh I know it doesn't make sense why they just don't up the dose.... the vets are also frustrated because they have to deal with people losing cattle to this illness and their hands are tied...our vet said he may have to travel to the states and smuggle some of the specific vaccine back....ahahahha.  On Friday  we had trouble getting a fire permit...there is a fire ban on here because it is so dry...we had to finally phone the head of the county and the forestry... but we did get an emergency permit..R had to have the CAT running beside the burn...but first we had to dig a huge pit...not easy when the ground is still frozen... thank god for R's CAT.

we put the carcass in first which turned out to not be the best thing to do...but we had no options since we had to keep it covered with a tarp until we were ready to burn. Then we collected a bunch of dead trees and old fence rails and junk to burn...by noon we set it on fire and boy did it burn of course there had been no wind all morning but once we set the fire alight...wow did it get windy...we were really worried about sparks. I had the hose ready incase and of course the tractor and CAT were on hand......once the wood had burned up we still had half the carcass to bury...we used the cat again...and buried it all under about 8 feet of soil...I don't know what we would have done if not for the CAT. So they called this morning to see if the burn went well and to make sure we had put the fire out... I hope I never have to do anything like that again as long as I live...the whole drama of it all has quite exhausted us both.

Everything went really well today with the cattle which is why were able to do so many in such a short time...usually we divide up over two days...

Until we did the yearlings... now yearlings are typically stupid at the best of times...but today the wind was  howling and dust was blowing everywhere...it was late afternoon and they were hungry...R had cut rations yesterday to ensure they came up when he called.   I had to poke one of the heifers with the prod (a cattle tazer, but before you get all up in arms...it gives a very slight zap...how do I know this...I have been zapped before with one....don't ask.)  I am very careful not to use it too much..but these heifers were kicking like little asses...and one kicked back hit the prod, instead of my arm..and sent it flying...it broke of course and of course I flew off the handle...grabbed R's plastic cane and took after her...she cheated me out of my getting even by running hell bent for leather up the chute and into the squeeze...ahahahah  but I have her number...little bitch.  and of course she is an angus...I swear to god I will regret my decision to breed to angus bulls for the rest of my cattle raising life...give me old straight simmentals anyday.

< Angus (red)

< Simmental






Our nice simmental cows go through the chute one after the other  once they see the way of things I don't even have to chase them...they just follow the leader through the alley and into the squeeze...they know it is inevitable..that they get needled again...and just accept it...but the bloody angus cunts, kick, bellow, run me over, kick, dodge and jump fences even a good equestrian horse couldn't clear.   It's like when I used to raise geese...I used to always get the big white emden geese until somebody told my mother in law that the grey ones were better eating (just for the record I never ate one of my geese..they were my babies. My mother in law used to come and kill them).  anyway...I never had a problem with the white geese being able to fly...they were to heavy and just couldn't...but the grey ones...those little dicks....dicks, not ducks... they were way lighter and could fly enough that when the wild geese flew overhead mine would rise up and join them and end up down on the slough and then when they walked back to the farm in the evening...don't ask me why they didn't fly back...the coyotes would get them...too stupid to live apparently.    Any way...the angus cattle seem to be the same....new but not necessarily improved...ahahaha.

It will take me a few days to recover...from all the trauma..   Tomorrow we get to go and make nicey nicey at our friends for easter dinner...Honestly I am sure their grandsons are going to think we are relatives of some sort...we are there so often..but it is really nice of them to invite us for all their family dinners.  kinda sad ...we have become the people that fill in the empty seats at other people's family dinners.

R says he doesn't care as long as he get a feed of turkey...hahaha how mercenary.. I just hope they have something chocolate, I can't have it in the house...it calls my name but I don't mind a bit of it at some one elses place...the caffeine keeps me awake. yes chocolate has caffeine...I am not lying.   At this dinner we will be rubbing elbows with millionaires.... our friend Norm's sister and her husband won 5 million in the 6/49 lottery 8 years ago...I bet they have every dollar still, if she's at all like her brother Norm...I am sure she does...they are scottish...and a typical tight fisted bunch. She buys her clothes at value village.hahahah that just makes me and R shake our heads... I am heading off to bed now and hope to sleep in until at least 8 am. we are going to have waffles for breakfast and fruit salad for lunch in  view of our having turkey later inthe day...nummmmmmmmy... wish you all a happy easter...

And The NIGHTMARE continues

This crisis is never ending.  The bull that died...turns out, had a serious disease that is picked up from the soil or feed when deer deficate or urinate on the feed, either laying in the swath or in the bale yard.   Once ingested by cattle the spores have a 10 day incubation period where the host animal appears perfectly healthy...and when the first symptom shows it is as little as 12 or as long as 24 hours before the animal is dead...the spores travel to the liver and the liver is destroyed affecting the animals red blood cells, and basically the animal hemmorages to death. Once they have it there is no treatment. Apparently there have been some cases in the area for the past few years. It is a very old disease...and there used to be a vaccine for it...but the drug companies were not selling enough of it so they discontinued it and just added it to another vaccine so that you treat for multiple diseases with just one vaccine, which we gave our cattle every year....however...we have since learned that it is difficult to give enough of the vaccine for REd Water to the cattle with that vaccine...which we just spent the past three days giving...  So now we have to run the cattle through the chute again and  vaccinate with a double dose and hope the hell we don't lose any more animals...

The Vet strongly urged us to burn the carcass of the dead bulll since the spores from the bodily fluids will travel on the wind, by birds and by deer.......

but we can't get a permit to burn...I have to go R needs the phone.... keep your fingers crossed for us...it is going to be a weekend from hell....

Okay, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH !!!!!

Okay, things have been crazy here and I haven't had a lot of time or frankly the inclination to write the happy, cheerful crap one of you suggested I write...I tried it, didn't like it and so I am going back to my original game plan and using MY BLOG to vent my utter, loathsome, mind bending, stomach wrenching frustration with the world in general...if you don't like the negative lean, don't read it ! 

In actuality, if I didn't vent on this blog by pounding the keyboard with pent up physical anger, I might do R some bodily harm...I wouldn't want that....I'd be in jail and he would be enjoying a Cathy free house...hahahaha I make it sound like we don't get along but I love the guy to bits, it's just that he ends up being the whipping boy because he is the only one around...ahahahahha

GOD DAM IT.....I HATE FARMING AND ALL THINGS TO DO WITH FARMING
Yesterday morning we were getting ready to head into the city to have the brake control for our stock trailer replaced...the first one only lasted 4 years. hmmffff
R went out to do his chores and found a dead bull.  THAT'S RIGHT....a DEAD BULL .... we have nine bulls all together....but i bet you can guess which one died....no?..  the best one of course...Our best $5000. bull  "SLICK"  he was not sick, as a matter of fact, R saw him just the day before...he seemed fine and then he was dead.  It couldn't have been the one with the bad feet, or the one from BC with the really bad attitude that charges R all the time...or the one that throws crappy calves...or the big black 10 yr old who barely passed the semen test.  NNNOOOOOOOOOOO it had to be the one that throws awesome calves, has great feet, is a real sweet heart to work with and scored the best on the semen test...we had worked out a breeding list for this year and Slick was supposed to get the biggest group of cows....now we have to scramble to make a new list....we don't want to give too many cows to the bull with bad feet, or the one with the bad attitude and we can't give the black bull with the low semen count too many or they won't get bred in time....we can't rush out and buy a replacement because we bought one new bull this year already but he is too young to give too many cows too....and we bought that stupid baler so we are strapped for cash....  but that isn't the point anyway....it just can't stand the shit that happens on the farm...WE LIVE BY MURPHY'S LAW and consider him an optimest. 

Of course the bulls death put a pall on the rest of our day, hard to spend money frivolously and enjoy yourself when your $5000. bull is laying dead in his corral being cut apart by the vet during an autopsy...

We went to the city inspite of the bad start...got to the appointment on time, and had the new brake control put in the truck....but it didn't work...so the tech had to go over the wiring harness from front to back and finally after an hour and a half of me sitting in the truck waiting R finally comes to tell me it won't be long, they found some bad wire connections that the first outfit who put the control in originally had made and that is why the control quit working.....sooooooooo  we had a $150. control put in that we didn't actually need....just needed to fix a bad connection.... but that's my R....like the time he replaced the fuel pump on the big grain truck after it stalled on the road.... $549. for a new pump and it took him and I, two days to change it over...and it still didn't work...it turned out to be a $0.90 fuse.....hahahahahahahahah

Yesterday R asked the pharmacist at costco (a tall slim blonde woman, I think he was flirting with her) if she had anything for severe depression...she asked who it was for and he said him... and then told her about the bull being dead.  OMG I nearly choked.... every once in a while we would look across at each other throughout the day and just shake our heads, it was so surreal. I think we were in shock... about the whole thing.

R is being quite zen about the whole bull thing this morning...saying it won't be so bad...we'll just use the bulls we have and not worry because we will probably end up selling off half the herd this summer anyway if the weather is as bad as they are predicting...and we have more drought and grasshoppers than last year...the dug outs didn't get filled this spring because we only had a foot of snow and there was no run off...  so ya...you wonder why I hate farming so much....try doing it with no off farm income .....and shit like this happens....
But there is one good thing to come of all this...R is no longer able to turn a blind eye to just how bad the industry has become and now talks about getting out of farming all on his own...I quite talking to him about it over a year ago...since it just upset him to think about getting out of it.

We can't really do that...or I mean we could ...but we would lose money...we need to wait, if we can hold out long enough, for things to turn around and land prices to pick up and then get out...but I suspect that should that happen, I will have a fight on my hands to convince him to bail out when things are good.