Well, the end of another year is nearly upon us and I for one am glad to see it go. Health wise, 2010 was not one of my better ones...faced lots of challenges and unforeseen crisis. So we put it all behind us and step toward a new year, with false bravado and bluster, hoping to, if nothing else, bolster our own morale. I'm good at that, it's how I get through the days, the winter and my life...pretending everything is great... and hey, who am I to say it isn't, really. When I compare my life up til now with....say that of someone living in Haiti...well, there really is no comparison... I live like Royalty...but it's all relative really...give them some clean drinking water and tent over their heads and they feel like Royalty too I bet....
Robert and I just watched the other night the movie "The Queen" with British actress Helen Miran...boy did she play that part well.... Robert met the real Queen once, for his 21st birthday his parents sent him to the UK to meet some relatives and see his old nanny, who after her husbands passing had returned to Wales...he spent a few days with her and then with some Makepeace and Summersgill relatives who showed him all over London...and they sat outside the palace gates and I can't remember what the occasion was but the Queen and Prince Phillip did a little walk about and he got to shake her hand....cool....she commented on his accent apparently...and he didn't know what to say to her....because to him she was the one with the accent.... I think his parents had hoped he would meet a woman over there...since his nanny and his aunt introduced him to available friends of their daughters...hahahahah Thank God he didn't meet any one or I would have ended up married to some old drunk friend of my first husbands who had apparently just been waiting for the right amount of time to pass after my husband had died to make his move (according to another friend, this fellow was quite devastated when I up and married Robert)....of course I'd like to think that I would have been discerning enough to have not gotten involved with someone so much like my first husband, who smoked heavily, drank and cheated... Good God, when I think about what life would be like without Robert ....I draw a complete blank... He is my Prince Charming (who dropped out half way through charm school) hahahahahaha NOoooooo he's great ... but let's not tell him quite so much okay, because it is starting to go to his head...his mother and old aunties used to tell him he was the bees knees....how British....it always sounded so cute with their accents....
We just heard yesterday that our premier friends have put their farm up for sale and hoping to move to Airdrie...just outside of Calgary where their youngest son lives....so he can take care of them.... We see their farm listed with the realtor, in the paper...so it is just a matter of time before they move away and life as we know it will once again take a big dip....they are only one of two couples we actually have as friends...but they are the ones we visit with the most.....whaaaaaaaaaaa I hate change...I hate losing friends, it is way too much work to make new ones...
These friends have invited us to their place on new years day so I think they have some news to tell us....that makes me worried.... I only just heard about them selling, and haven't had time to come to terms with that...I hope they haven't already bought a place....in airdrie... they were in Vegas for a week and then spent a few days with the son in Calgary who went to Vegas with them...I think he took them around to look for a place to live....bastard....
Robert and I plan to just hang out at home this evening and watch the year in review on TV. I am recording some cool movies playing on other channels to watch later...and will generally eat bad snacks and be lazy...I am still working a devil of a jigsaw...of a valley in Peru...that is solid orange and yellow flowers...so the whole picture is a sliver of blue sky, a sliver of black mountain and then a whack of orange and yellow....very very challenging...it is one of the Planet Earth puzzles...I love it....
I have lots of Dr's appointments and an MRI booked for the first week of the New year... along with my monthly blood work and such... but surprisingly I am not worried ...
HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone.... let's make it a good one...
Splendor
December 31, 2010
December 30, 2010
Idiot !
Like an idiot, I forgot to take my camera with me when we went tobogganing. My friend had a small camera in her pocket which she took some shots with but her husband tells me she takes lousy photo's, chopping off heads and getting her thumb in the way...that is hilarious...I mean how hard is it to take a picture....if you remember your _ _ _ _ _ _ camera...hahaha
But, in spite of no snapshots, well at least not yet....we had a marvelous time...until it all went horribly wrong... Robert and I on our ancient aluminum toboggan went down DEATH hill, with the added weight of two adults it was fast...but the kids didn't wait and came down before we were finished sliding...Robert and I crashed near the bottom, landing in a tangled heap and then the kids on a plastic sled careened into us and we all went flying...I got the corner of their acid green sled in the forehead and believe it or not it knocked me out for a few seconds...ahahah scared the crap out of Robert and they had to drag my body off the track because, unaware of the incident taking place at the bottom of the hill...our friends and their adult daughter set off, them in our hard plastic calf sled and the daughter on a long crazy carpet, head first...it could have been a slaughter but for my husband who drug me to safety...I came to about that time and immediately got sick....they think I had concussion...I'm fine now, except every bone in my body aches.....probably from the small humps on the way down the hill that cause you to become air born and slamming back to the frozen ground at break neck speed is a bit jarring on old joints....hahahah walking pretty gingerly this morning...but raring to go sledding again when the weather warms up a bit...
I sat out a few turns down the hill, volunteering to drive the truck up and down the hill, taxiing them to the top...and when it got too hot in the truck with all my gear on...I took another turn down the hill at a more sedate pace, alone...and still hurt myself when I hit the huge pile of snow at the end of the run that Robert had put there to stop us from going through the wire fence and into the poplar trees....hitting the hill jarred my sore ankle and that was it, I didn't go down again unfortunately...but I did walk up the hill that time..rather than ride..I figured I could use the exercise...I walked up that huge hill four times yesterday actually and 5 times the day before....
There was a moment where I was scared shitless...Robert elected to go down the hill in our blue plastic calf sled...now this sled is not really meant for tobogganing in, the sides are high to keep the baby calf from flopping out while you pull it into the barn...but those high sides keep you from being able to manipulate the sled in any way, either with your hands or feet...so once you set off you are at the mercy of the hill and sled....so he blasted down the hill at a very high speed and hit the protective bank of snow (which by the way is about 6 ft. high) up the side of it and rocketed off the top, hung suspended in the air for what seemed like forever and then crashed to the ground behind the bank...we were all rushing down the hill to him and it was a few seconds before he even moved...so I was thinking the worst....(that I would have to do chores the next day....hahahahha) but he said he was laughing so hard he couldn't move...hahahaha but later admitted to me that he nearly shit himself when he was going up the side of the bank and had no way to stop. After that if anyone slid in the blue sled...they had to go down the other path we had made that headed out into the open pasture field...he went down again later on that path and ended up way out in the field...farther than anyone else had made it...and when he hit the fresh undisturbed snow...it flew up in front of the sled and covered him from head to toe...even plastering his face with a couple inches of wet snow jammed in behind his glasses...hhahahhaha he was blinded while his glasses defogged and he had really bad brain freeze from the snow hitting his forehead.... so all in all, it was a great time...we definitely want to do it again.... I always knew these mountains we have for farm land were good for something.
We came to the house and had a veggie plate, hot dogs and hot chocolate and I got rid of some more of my Christmas baking...
But, in spite of no snapshots, well at least not yet....we had a marvelous time...until it all went horribly wrong... Robert and I on our ancient aluminum toboggan went down DEATH hill, with the added weight of two adults it was fast...but the kids didn't wait and came down before we were finished sliding...Robert and I crashed near the bottom, landing in a tangled heap and then the kids on a plastic sled careened into us and we all went flying...I got the corner of their acid green sled in the forehead and believe it or not it knocked me out for a few seconds...ahahah scared the crap out of Robert and they had to drag my body off the track because, unaware of the incident taking place at the bottom of the hill...our friends and their adult daughter set off, them in our hard plastic calf sled and the daughter on a long crazy carpet, head first...it could have been a slaughter but for my husband who drug me to safety...I came to about that time and immediately got sick....they think I had concussion...I'm fine now, except every bone in my body aches.....probably from the small humps on the way down the hill that cause you to become air born and slamming back to the frozen ground at break neck speed is a bit jarring on old joints....hahahah walking pretty gingerly this morning...but raring to go sledding again when the weather warms up a bit...
I sat out a few turns down the hill, volunteering to drive the truck up and down the hill, taxiing them to the top...and when it got too hot in the truck with all my gear on...I took another turn down the hill at a more sedate pace, alone...and still hurt myself when I hit the huge pile of snow at the end of the run that Robert had put there to stop us from going through the wire fence and into the poplar trees....hitting the hill jarred my sore ankle and that was it, I didn't go down again unfortunately...but I did walk up the hill that time..rather than ride..I figured I could use the exercise...I walked up that huge hill four times yesterday actually and 5 times the day before....
There was a moment where I was scared shitless...Robert elected to go down the hill in our blue plastic calf sled...now this sled is not really meant for tobogganing in, the sides are high to keep the baby calf from flopping out while you pull it into the barn...but those high sides keep you from being able to manipulate the sled in any way, either with your hands or feet...so once you set off you are at the mercy of the hill and sled....so he blasted down the hill at a very high speed and hit the protective bank of snow (which by the way is about 6 ft. high) up the side of it and rocketed off the top, hung suspended in the air for what seemed like forever and then crashed to the ground behind the bank...we were all rushing down the hill to him and it was a few seconds before he even moved...so I was thinking the worst....(that I would have to do chores the next day....hahahahha) but he said he was laughing so hard he couldn't move...hahahaha but later admitted to me that he nearly shit himself when he was going up the side of the bank and had no way to stop. After that if anyone slid in the blue sled...they had to go down the other path we had made that headed out into the open pasture field...he went down again later on that path and ended up way out in the field...farther than anyone else had made it...and when he hit the fresh undisturbed snow...it flew up in front of the sled and covered him from head to toe...even plastering his face with a couple inches of wet snow jammed in behind his glasses...hhahahhaha he was blinded while his glasses defogged and he had really bad brain freeze from the snow hitting his forehead.... so all in all, it was a great time...we definitely want to do it again.... I always knew these mountains we have for farm land were good for something.
We came to the house and had a veggie plate, hot dogs and hot chocolate and I got rid of some more of my Christmas baking...
December 29, 2010
Well Thank God that's Over
Dodged another crappy holiday season with little to no damage done. We ate three separate Xmas dinners, oddly enough each one good enough in their own way but sadly lacking that traditional flavour...either not the right veggie combo, or the right turkey dressing, one didn't even make dressing. That is sacrilegious, who doesn't make turkey dressing, even stove top is better than nothing for Christ's sake...
Any way, enough about food. We timed the arrival at Robert's nephews just right, arrived there just 10 minutes before eating and left directly after, we would have stayed longer but we got heaved out the door so that they could go to the Xmas church service in their families little Lutheran church...we made our escape, but left without taking part in the movie exchange later that night...outside in the snowy parking lot...Roberts brother caught up to us and asked if we would come to his place for dinner on boxing day...and Robert, I am ashamed to admit, barked out "who else is coming"....how rude....his brother Tom said "phht, what do you mean who's coming...me you and Cathy"
Robert was reluctant to commit ourselves so we left it hanging and his brother walked away...insulted I think.
On Christmas day, we lazed around, well I did, Robert had to feed the cattle. But at 4 pm we got dolled up, and headed into town (local) to a friends house to join their family for dinner...the food was okay...but their grand kids were there and you know I finally have to admit, I, in my old age find young children horribly annoying... perhaps it would be different if they were my grand kids, but some body elses....yikes...especially the boy age 11, he kept having to be the centre of attention and was shooting foam darts from a massive gun he was given for Christmas at everyone in the room, company not exempt. He got Robert in the face twice. Robert, I could see, was getting a little miffed....as would I have been, and the grandpa grabbed the darts and put them away..so the kid just opened a second package of them...thank god supper was ready and we all went to the table... They have two adult children the son is about 38 and talked of nothing but zombies and science fiction movies all night..and the daughter age 35 didn't talk...except she kept calling Robert, Roger all night...until he finally told her to just call him Sue...she clammed up after that... and kept going outside to smoke...yuk...
We left around 10 pm...I had a bad sciatic nerve thing going on in the back of my thigh and buttock so it made sitting on anything excruciatingly painful...boy weren't we just the life of the party....grumpy Robert and tight lipped from pain Cathy...hahahahah bet we don't get an invite back there next year...hahahaha
Boxing day, we headed off to Roberts brothers...at noon....stopped at a walmart (big mistake in my mind) to grab a cheap movie for the exchange.... I wrapped in on the go...ahahahah what a mess...but at least they never guessed who brought that movie...hahaha looked like a 5 yr old wrapped it.
When we arrived at Tom's, Robert the chicken that he is...dropped me off at the door and said to go in, he was going to turn the truck around for an easy escape...so I had to face the dragon by myself...and low and behold...she was there all right...Tom's suppose to be estranged wife...the one who called the police on him over a year ago and had him removed from his house for three months and then put him through the hell of a court case to get a peace bond...all because she is an unrepentant alcoholic...who doesn't think she has a drinking problem... but apparently she did the exact same thing to her first husband and ended up getting his acreage in the settlement... She and Tom lied to us the whole time they were together...and so when the shit hit the fan with them and they were estranged we hoped that he would end it and go through with the divorce...but no...he thinks he can help her with her drinking and wants them to be together... THIS was the first time we had seen her in a year and a half. NEVER would have been too soon to suit us. anyway, there she was.. standing inside the door with arms thrown wide...crying my name like we were long lost twins or something... she threw herself at me and hugged me...while I tried unsuccessfully to extricate myself...what a hag...she definitely has not aged well...her hair was lank and stringy..dark circles around her eyes, she is nearly emaciated but her eyes had the distinct look of someone well into the sauce...kind of glazed looking... a hug from tom and I was in the house....I excused myself for being rude and made my way straight to the washroom....by the time I came out Robert was at the door...she tried the same thing with him but he just crossed his arms and refused to hug her....
We moved toward the dinning room and nearly fell to our knees in gratitude when the door bell rang again and two old neighbour ladies of Toms came in....they were invited too THANK GOD !!!!! so if not for Ella and Stella being there...things would have been very ugly I think, since Robert was in no mood for her bullshit...I wondered how things would go.. and thought it would either be a knock down drag out fight or she would pretend nothing had ever happened....and that is the card she played...she acted like nothing had happened...and she hadn't nearly caused tom to kill himself in despair...of losing her and nearly losing his home , he did lose his kids because none of them will talk to him for getting back together with her.... Anyway, after a couple of hours sitting there in their blue haze of cigarette smoke, my eyes were burning, my throat was sore and tightening up, with no puffer on hand I told Robert it was time to leave...so all the way home we had to smell the stale smoke smell on our clothes and the moment we walked in the door of the house we stripped and headed straight for the shower...to de-tox ourselves...hahahaha boy that was emotionally draining...sitting through that...but the worst is over, the first time being the hardest...we do intend to talk with her about her behavior and let her know why we are mad and don't want to have anything to do with it but didn't think boxing day was the time to that...another time perhaps...
I never heard from my son other than the card his wife sent...just Robert and Cathy love Rob and Eleesha... no note, no call, no visit... I wrote a nice note in his card inviting him to come during the holidays for a visit since they both work and I never know when they are home it is easier for them to come or call here. Since when I call it is always to get his voice mail and they never call back... So, I am going to wait awhile and if I don't hear from him, he is dead to me....hahahahaha like the Mafia....banished....
Yesterday, Robert and I spent the lovely afternoon, it was only -5 out and sunny, preparing a big hill for tobogganing....our friends that we spent Xmas day with are coming out for a tobogganing party today...so we were getting it ready yesterday and had a hoot....first Robert put the bucket on the tractor and back bladed a few runs down the hill...then I tested them out with the toboggan and calf sled...we decided which one was the best and developed it further...putting in a few humps to get you air born...and such....oh man did I have fun....I even got old stiff in the neck Robert to go down a couple of times...and he screamed like a little girl all the way down...because this some some serious sled hill...steep as hell and long....we are going to use the tractor to taxi people back up the hill....should be a blast...hot dogs and hot chocolate afterwards at the house....and Xmas baking of course...have to get rid of it before I start in on it...managed so far not to because Robert had his nephews beef on top of it in the freezer but now that that is delivered...butter tarts are calling my name.... so I hope to have a few pictures of our sledding day to post soon....
In the meantime, between all this holidaying...I have been working on a not so small project for my friend whose family lost a great uncle in the sinking of the HMCS Esquimalt... what an interesting story that turned out to be and I have been emailing with the author of the article and he had helped me enormously...I have put together a collection of articles about the ship, the day it was torpedoed and about the German u boat that sank her..along with some photographs and such...it is a gift to her and her great aunt (whose brother it was that died on that ship). I know, I know....over the top again but what can you do...I am just that kind of person...if I do something, I like to be thorough. Type A personality disorder....over achiever, it has many names... take advantage of it while you can...I hope to change someday...
Well, that's all for today, I'm off to defrost the hot dogs and polish my toboggan bottom...hahahaha
Any way, enough about food. We timed the arrival at Robert's nephews just right, arrived there just 10 minutes before eating and left directly after, we would have stayed longer but we got heaved out the door so that they could go to the Xmas church service in their families little Lutheran church...we made our escape, but left without taking part in the movie exchange later that night...outside in the snowy parking lot...Roberts brother caught up to us and asked if we would come to his place for dinner on boxing day...and Robert, I am ashamed to admit, barked out "who else is coming"....how rude....his brother Tom said "phht, what do you mean who's coming...me you and Cathy"
Robert was reluctant to commit ourselves so we left it hanging and his brother walked away...insulted I think.
On Christmas day, we lazed around, well I did, Robert had to feed the cattle. But at 4 pm we got dolled up, and headed into town (local) to a friends house to join their family for dinner...the food was okay...but their grand kids were there and you know I finally have to admit, I, in my old age find young children horribly annoying... perhaps it would be different if they were my grand kids, but some body elses....yikes...especially the boy age 11, he kept having to be the centre of attention and was shooting foam darts from a massive gun he was given for Christmas at everyone in the room, company not exempt. He got Robert in the face twice. Robert, I could see, was getting a little miffed....as would I have been, and the grandpa grabbed the darts and put them away..so the kid just opened a second package of them...thank god supper was ready and we all went to the table... They have two adult children the son is about 38 and talked of nothing but zombies and science fiction movies all night..and the daughter age 35 didn't talk...except she kept calling Robert, Roger all night...until he finally told her to just call him Sue...she clammed up after that... and kept going outside to smoke...yuk...
We left around 10 pm...I had a bad sciatic nerve thing going on in the back of my thigh and buttock so it made sitting on anything excruciatingly painful...boy weren't we just the life of the party....grumpy Robert and tight lipped from pain Cathy...hahahahah bet we don't get an invite back there next year...hahahaha
Boxing day, we headed off to Roberts brothers...at noon....stopped at a walmart (big mistake in my mind) to grab a cheap movie for the exchange.... I wrapped in on the go...ahahahah what a mess...but at least they never guessed who brought that movie...hahaha looked like a 5 yr old wrapped it.
When we arrived at Tom's, Robert the chicken that he is...dropped me off at the door and said to go in, he was going to turn the truck around for an easy escape...so I had to face the dragon by myself...and low and behold...she was there all right...Tom's suppose to be estranged wife...the one who called the police on him over a year ago and had him removed from his house for three months and then put him through the hell of a court case to get a peace bond...all because she is an unrepentant alcoholic...who doesn't think she has a drinking problem... but apparently she did the exact same thing to her first husband and ended up getting his acreage in the settlement... She and Tom lied to us the whole time they were together...and so when the shit hit the fan with them and they were estranged we hoped that he would end it and go through with the divorce...but no...he thinks he can help her with her drinking and wants them to be together... THIS was the first time we had seen her in a year and a half. NEVER would have been too soon to suit us. anyway, there she was.. standing inside the door with arms thrown wide...crying my name like we were long lost twins or something... she threw herself at me and hugged me...while I tried unsuccessfully to extricate myself...what a hag...she definitely has not aged well...her hair was lank and stringy..dark circles around her eyes, she is nearly emaciated but her eyes had the distinct look of someone well into the sauce...kind of glazed looking... a hug from tom and I was in the house....I excused myself for being rude and made my way straight to the washroom....by the time I came out Robert was at the door...she tried the same thing with him but he just crossed his arms and refused to hug her....
We moved toward the dinning room and nearly fell to our knees in gratitude when the door bell rang again and two old neighbour ladies of Toms came in....they were invited too THANK GOD !!!!! so if not for Ella and Stella being there...things would have been very ugly I think, since Robert was in no mood for her bullshit...I wondered how things would go.. and thought it would either be a knock down drag out fight or she would pretend nothing had ever happened....and that is the card she played...she acted like nothing had happened...and she hadn't nearly caused tom to kill himself in despair...of losing her and nearly losing his home , he did lose his kids because none of them will talk to him for getting back together with her.... Anyway, after a couple of hours sitting there in their blue haze of cigarette smoke, my eyes were burning, my throat was sore and tightening up, with no puffer on hand I told Robert it was time to leave...so all the way home we had to smell the stale smoke smell on our clothes and the moment we walked in the door of the house we stripped and headed straight for the shower...to de-tox ourselves...hahahaha boy that was emotionally draining...sitting through that...but the worst is over, the first time being the hardest...we do intend to talk with her about her behavior and let her know why we are mad and don't want to have anything to do with it but didn't think boxing day was the time to that...another time perhaps...
I never heard from my son other than the card his wife sent...just Robert and Cathy love Rob and Eleesha... no note, no call, no visit... I wrote a nice note in his card inviting him to come during the holidays for a visit since they both work and I never know when they are home it is easier for them to come or call here. Since when I call it is always to get his voice mail and they never call back... So, I am going to wait awhile and if I don't hear from him, he is dead to me....hahahahaha like the Mafia....banished....
Yesterday, Robert and I spent the lovely afternoon, it was only -5 out and sunny, preparing a big hill for tobogganing....our friends that we spent Xmas day with are coming out for a tobogganing party today...so we were getting it ready yesterday and had a hoot....first Robert put the bucket on the tractor and back bladed a few runs down the hill...then I tested them out with the toboggan and calf sled...we decided which one was the best and developed it further...putting in a few humps to get you air born...and such....oh man did I have fun....I even got old stiff in the neck Robert to go down a couple of times...and he screamed like a little girl all the way down...because this some some serious sled hill...steep as hell and long....we are going to use the tractor to taxi people back up the hill....should be a blast...hot dogs and hot chocolate afterwards at the house....and Xmas baking of course...have to get rid of it before I start in on it...managed so far not to because Robert had his nephews beef on top of it in the freezer but now that that is delivered...butter tarts are calling my name.... so I hope to have a few pictures of our sledding day to post soon....
In the meantime, between all this holidaying...I have been working on a not so small project for my friend whose family lost a great uncle in the sinking of the HMCS Esquimalt... what an interesting story that turned out to be and I have been emailing with the author of the article and he had helped me enormously...I have put together a collection of articles about the ship, the day it was torpedoed and about the German u boat that sank her..along with some photographs and such...it is a gift to her and her great aunt (whose brother it was that died on that ship). I know, I know....over the top again but what can you do...I am just that kind of person...if I do something, I like to be thorough. Type A personality disorder....over achiever, it has many names... take advantage of it while you can...I hope to change someday...
Well, that's all for today, I'm off to defrost the hot dogs and polish my toboggan bottom...hahahaha
December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas All
I hope you all have a great day. R and I went to see a movie yesterday...this is, after all our holiday time...with the exception of feeding cows everyday, this is the time of year when we have the least amount of work to do, the lull before the storm, if you will. Calving starts mid-January and we try to take advantage of the spare time to do some fun stuff. Catch up on our movie seeing. On Thursday we went to see Little Fockers, and it was pretty funny...but yesterday before going to R's nephews place for a Christmas eve dinner we went to see THE KING'S SPEECH and Oh My God...it was great...the acting was superb...the movie builds with anguish, at such a dark time in history...only to leave you filled with such a lifting of the spirit...up lifted...yes, that's how I felt at the end...I wanted to go out and conquer something... it was awesome... so I would recommend it to anyone...if you can only see one movie this year...this is the one to go to, I think.
On a completely different note...... has anyone else noticed how the population is dwindling...I mean you probably haven't what with all the immigrants coming to Canada...but I meant the size of the average family...I was just remarking on this the other day to R...doing this genealogy made me aware that the size of a normal family is completely different than it used to be even only 50 yrs ago. Couples used to have six or more children...and then in my generation it was down to two to four and now seems like one child is the norm, what's next is even too scary to think about...but couples not having any children could be the normal thing...and where would that leave us... somebody needs to be having babies..... should I tell you why this bothers me....
I grew up in a family where 12 children were born, although we did not all grow up together...there were 5 that I did grow up being a part of. There is a certain comfort in that I think....a buffer or cushion...you feel some sort of connection to at least a handful of people...that is an important thing to have I believe. Even now, at my middle years I feel such a loss in my parents deaths and that of one brother...like my grasp on something is slipping...and I don't want to lose it...but it seems inevitable that I will.
I say this with this thought in mind.....what must an only child feel....to not have the cushion of family around them...to know that once the parents have passed on...what does he have a connection to...how singular that must feel. an island in the ocean...
It makes me sad then that THAT child won't take advantage of the family connections he does have, like cousins and aunts and uncles.
So you can probably guess where this is leading and I promised myself I wouldn't thing about it again... I've been awake since 4 am, after waking from a bad dream, so humour me... I am tired and afraid to go back to sleep..you could even accuse me of rambling...god forbid...
Don't forget that I am going with R to some friends place for our Xmas dinner...and I should be full of weird stories for tomorrow... take care all and we'll talk again soon.
On a completely different note...... has anyone else noticed how the population is dwindling...I mean you probably haven't what with all the immigrants coming to Canada...but I meant the size of the average family...I was just remarking on this the other day to R...doing this genealogy made me aware that the size of a normal family is completely different than it used to be even only 50 yrs ago. Couples used to have six or more children...and then in my generation it was down to two to four and now seems like one child is the norm, what's next is even too scary to think about...but couples not having any children could be the normal thing...and where would that leave us... somebody needs to be having babies..... should I tell you why this bothers me....
I grew up in a family where 12 children were born, although we did not all grow up together...there were 5 that I did grow up being a part of. There is a certain comfort in that I think....a buffer or cushion...you feel some sort of connection to at least a handful of people...that is an important thing to have I believe. Even now, at my middle years I feel such a loss in my parents deaths and that of one brother...like my grasp on something is slipping...and I don't want to lose it...but it seems inevitable that I will.
I say this with this thought in mind.....what must an only child feel....to not have the cushion of family around them...to know that once the parents have passed on...what does he have a connection to...how singular that must feel. an island in the ocean...
It makes me sad then that THAT child won't take advantage of the family connections he does have, like cousins and aunts and uncles.
So you can probably guess where this is leading and I promised myself I wouldn't thing about it again... I've been awake since 4 am, after waking from a bad dream, so humour me... I am tired and afraid to go back to sleep..you could even accuse me of rambling...god forbid...
Don't forget that I am going with R to some friends place for our Xmas dinner...and I should be full of weird stories for tomorrow... take care all and we'll talk again soon.
December 21, 2010
Lunar Eclipse
So, last night was the first full lunar eclipse occurring on the winter solstice in over 378 years or something like that...pretty awesome...and I tried valiantly to stay up and see the whole thing...but it was -25 here last night and I was super tired from shovelling tons of snow that day...so I powered out after only a third of the moon was covered...R stayed up a bit longer and saw the whole thing covered but didn't take a picture...he is afraid of my camera... so here is the shot I got with just my digital...I wished I had telescope.... we won't see the next one on this day until 2449..... I don't know about you but I definitely won't be awake to see that one...hahahahaha
That's Disgusting
Well we did our good Samaritan gig for the holiday season, last week, we moved that furniture our friends had bought for their daughter, with our stock trailer to her home in Ft. Sask. just north of the city. We left here about 10 am and got to their place shortly there after. Loaded up the stuff, which turned out to be a bit more than just furniture....let's see, there was a sofa, love seat and chair....a bike, several bags of clothes (recycled) and a box of blankets. I have to admit that when I saw the furniture I nearly gagged...it was one of those suites that your grandma might have owned...now don't get me wrong, a floral pattern on furniture can look quite lovely (ie: sue's) light, springtime-ish and clean.....but this stuff, they had bought for a song from the guy that runs the gas station in town, his mom moved into the nursing home and they were selling the house....and I guess it is a testament to how desperate this 30 yr old mother of two is that she was tickled pink to get it...but it was indigo blue, purple and pink flowers on a very beige, nearly toffee coloured background. with the big rolled arms and the frilly skirt along the bottom...gag.....
I said to R that I hoped she had some nice quilts or blankets to cover it up with...
so when we arrived there the first order of business was to remove the old sofa...and wooden walmart rocker from the house....which the guys did....now J is a small statured man about a foot shorter than R and slim...so moving furniture with R was made more difficult because of the difference in height...J tripped on a small step in the sidewalk going up to the driveway..and fell on one hip while his end of the sofa came down on his other hip...hahaha he was a bit uncomfortable the rest of the day but I guess he is in his mid sixties...so we should have been a bit more sympathetic....I think the sofa would have been only half as heavy if she had vacuumed it out...because when they took the cushions off of it it was filthy dirty...I mean filthy... It made me want to wash my hands and I hadn't even touched it....hahahaha there was dried up cereal, fruit loops and cheerios, and such, candies stuck to the bottom of the cushions, dead bugs, and general filth....I could tell our friends were a bit embarrassed and the young woman did confess that her vacuum had broken over a year ago....ewwwww.... but R and I later discussed it and we both had to ask ourselves....what the hell was the matter with borrowing a vacuum from a friend or borrow your moms...or something, man, it's just a lame excuse for being lazy...on my way to the bathroom before we left I had to pass one of the kids rooms and the carpet that was visible at the doorway was filthy too.... our friend said they had bought their daughter a new vacuum for Xmas....I say, not a moment too late...
This is not the only friend we have with cleaning issues...our long time friends are hoarders....yes I said hoarders....we helped them move from the farm to their new place near the city, and it took me weeks to recover from the trauma...so much stuff in the house that there were just paths to the sink, bathroom and kitchen table...no other rooms were accessible...really...they had to climb a pile of clothing and jackets to get into their bedroom.which in the 20 years we have been friends we had never seen the inside of ...and after the first two years of being friends we no longer could sit in the living room...it was full and overflowed into the kitchen...when we packed up their crap and stuffed it into a school bus...to haul to the new place we were aghast at the mouse turds on the kitchen counter and it made me nearly vomit because we had just had dinner there a few weeks before..... when we walked on the empty kitchen floor, your shoes weren't really in contact with the linoleum...it was like walking on a layer of rice kernels, that's how bad the mouse shit was on the floor...and they knew they had mice...because there were chunks of mouse bait and some of the turds were blue and pink, the same colour as the bait...hahaha....I swear .... I came home and fanatically cleaned my house for weeks afterwards...even if it wasn't dirty... I also couldn't help myself from editing....you know...going through everything we owned and getting rid of the things we didn't use or need....that wore off after a few weeks thank god...but it has been nearly three years now since they moved and we had hoped at first that moving into a bigger place away from their family would give them a chance to start off on the right foot again but sadly...their new place is filling up with crap again...now it isn't so much garbage but, piles of fabric (she's a quilter), books, food stuff and laundry and general clutter...they are both to blame...one being as bad as the other for just piling stuff on the floor beside their chairs...the kitchen area is again cluttered with piles of food boxes and cans of stuff, fabric and that kind of stuff to the point where there is just a path from the front door to the stove...but she has to lean over to reach the stove because there are pots and pans in front...on the floor...the counters are covered a foot deep with cookie tins, pans, and what have you...and I don't think she even owns a broom...that was one thing we noticed when we moved them, we never saw any cleaning products, brooms or mops. She hadn't been able to clean in that house for so long I think she just forgot how...sad isn't it. We love them dearly but they frustrate the hell out of us...they don't think there is anything the matter with how they live...he even brags about it being homey....and that our house is cold and sterile...hahahahaha what ever...I could never live like that...and for all my parents shortcomings....I can honestly say that never, ever did we live in a filthy hovel...ever...both my mom and dad were tidy people...and they instilled that in us kids...besides if anything sat around too long without being used my dad traded it at the second hand store for something we did need...
so back to moving our friends used furniture....we now have a harshly used sofa and wood rocker on our stock trailer waiting for the day the dump opens here...(only one day per week) so that we can take and be rid of it.
But we are committed to returning to her house to help her and her parents move her to a new rental house...at the end of Jan. Let's hope she has used her new vacuum cleaner and things are a bit less gross...because even with a broken vacuum cleaner there really is no excuse for living in filth. Really people...
I said to R that I hoped she had some nice quilts or blankets to cover it up with...
so when we arrived there the first order of business was to remove the old sofa...and wooden walmart rocker from the house....which the guys did....now J is a small statured man about a foot shorter than R and slim...so moving furniture with R was made more difficult because of the difference in height...J tripped on a small step in the sidewalk going up to the driveway..and fell on one hip while his end of the sofa came down on his other hip...hahaha he was a bit uncomfortable the rest of the day but I guess he is in his mid sixties...so we should have been a bit more sympathetic....I think the sofa would have been only half as heavy if she had vacuumed it out...because when they took the cushions off of it it was filthy dirty...I mean filthy... It made me want to wash my hands and I hadn't even touched it....hahahaha there was dried up cereal, fruit loops and cheerios, and such, candies stuck to the bottom of the cushions, dead bugs, and general filth....I could tell our friends were a bit embarrassed and the young woman did confess that her vacuum had broken over a year ago....ewwwww.... but R and I later discussed it and we both had to ask ourselves....what the hell was the matter with borrowing a vacuum from a friend or borrow your moms...or something, man, it's just a lame excuse for being lazy...on my way to the bathroom before we left I had to pass one of the kids rooms and the carpet that was visible at the doorway was filthy too.... our friend said they had bought their daughter a new vacuum for Xmas....I say, not a moment too late...
This is not the only friend we have with cleaning issues...our long time friends are hoarders....yes I said hoarders....we helped them move from the farm to their new place near the city, and it took me weeks to recover from the trauma...so much stuff in the house that there were just paths to the sink, bathroom and kitchen table...no other rooms were accessible...really...they had to climb a pile of clothing and jackets to get into their bedroom.which in the 20 years we have been friends we had never seen the inside of ...and after the first two years of being friends we no longer could sit in the living room...it was full and overflowed into the kitchen...when we packed up their crap and stuffed it into a school bus...to haul to the new place we were aghast at the mouse turds on the kitchen counter and it made me nearly vomit because we had just had dinner there a few weeks before..... when we walked on the empty kitchen floor, your shoes weren't really in contact with the linoleum...it was like walking on a layer of rice kernels, that's how bad the mouse shit was on the floor...and they knew they had mice...because there were chunks of mouse bait and some of the turds were blue and pink, the same colour as the bait...hahaha....I swear .... I came home and fanatically cleaned my house for weeks afterwards...even if it wasn't dirty... I also couldn't help myself from editing....you know...going through everything we owned and getting rid of the things we didn't use or need....that wore off after a few weeks thank god...but it has been nearly three years now since they moved and we had hoped at first that moving into a bigger place away from their family would give them a chance to start off on the right foot again but sadly...their new place is filling up with crap again...now it isn't so much garbage but, piles of fabric (she's a quilter), books, food stuff and laundry and general clutter...they are both to blame...one being as bad as the other for just piling stuff on the floor beside their chairs...the kitchen area is again cluttered with piles of food boxes and cans of stuff, fabric and that kind of stuff to the point where there is just a path from the front door to the stove...but she has to lean over to reach the stove because there are pots and pans in front...on the floor...the counters are covered a foot deep with cookie tins, pans, and what have you...and I don't think she even owns a broom...that was one thing we noticed when we moved them, we never saw any cleaning products, brooms or mops. She hadn't been able to clean in that house for so long I think she just forgot how...sad isn't it. We love them dearly but they frustrate the hell out of us...they don't think there is anything the matter with how they live...he even brags about it being homey....and that our house is cold and sterile...hahahahaha what ever...I could never live like that...and for all my parents shortcomings....I can honestly say that never, ever did we live in a filthy hovel...ever...both my mom and dad were tidy people...and they instilled that in us kids...besides if anything sat around too long without being used my dad traded it at the second hand store for something we did need...
so back to moving our friends used furniture....we now have a harshly used sofa and wood rocker on our stock trailer waiting for the day the dump opens here...(only one day per week) so that we can take and be rid of it.
But we are committed to returning to her house to help her and her parents move her to a new rental house...at the end of Jan. Let's hope she has used her new vacuum cleaner and things are a bit less gross...because even with a broken vacuum cleaner there really is no excuse for living in filth. Really people...
December 16, 2010
Digging out
Well, that was quite the storm. Robert and I were suppose to go to the city yesterday but made a unanimous decision to stay home and cancel our meeting his nephews wife for an exchange of beef and cash.....hahahaha very good judgement on our part when later in the day they closed the yellowhead highway because of the over 80 vehicles in the ditch just west of Edmonton. That could have been us.... but we were snug as bugs in a rug at home, jigsaw puzzling our little fingers off...and drinking hot chocolate...sugar free of course.
here are some pics of the snow and drifting that took place at our place and we didn't get as much snow as some places...but it is over three feet deep now and deeper where the drifts are...
I have this dilemma. I got my ears pierced on my thirtieth birthday, it was a rebellious action....my mother would never let us girls have our ears pierced, always saying "if God wanted you with holes in your ears he would have made them with holes", now don't get the impression that my mother was religious, she only turned sort of religious when it suited her to appear holier than thou...usually of us kids or my dad.... I was feeling neglected on that particular birthday, feeling that it was a bit of a milestone for me, since as a kid 30 seemed awfully old and I never thought I would live long enough to reach it...hahahaha seems ridiculous now...but (insert shoulder shrug here) I was a kid, kids don't make sense some times....so..... I wanted my husband Sid to take me out for dinner...or something, anything really, but instead he just said no, he was too busy....so I went to town myself, which I rarely did for some strange reason...I bought a new top, got my hair cut short (which makes it go curly) and radically got my ears pierced, it was one of those spur of the moment things...and by the time I was sitting in the chair and she was getting the little gun ready I was regretting my decision...hahahahha and definitely was after she did the first ear....it isn't that it was so painful but the shock of if is more upsetting than anything...the pain didn't come until about an hour later and lasted for several days....so when I got home to an empty house....kid was still in school and Sid was....well I still don't know where Sid was...but he wasn't at home...so I put on my favorite cassette and grooved to the tunes while I got some supper started...and I foolishly decided a drink (meaning alcohol) wouldn't go amiss.... Vodka was my drink of choice, when I rarely drank, but much to my disappointment I was out of orange juice....but not one to be diverted...I used lemon aid instead since I had some in the fridge already..homemade even...The first sip proved to be disgusting....but I persevered and by the fourth or fifth sip it was tasting better....so I had a few more drinks....and by the time Sid and my son came inside for supper I was pretty much hammered...I am ashamed to say....since I rarely drank it only took two or three drinks to get me there..... I remember making a big dramatic speech about being taken for granted and how I thought I deserved to be treated soooooo much better than they were doing...and that they hadn't even noticed my lovely new earrings.... which by this time were nearly hidden by the swelling in my ear lobes...and their shiny new newness dimmed by the beet red colour of my throbbing ears....hahahaha Sid suggested I have a shower and I concurred...a shower was just what I needed...to cool my ears off...I felt like I was burning up.... so downstairs I traipsed...and began a nice coolish shower....I was singing and crying and generally feeling sorry for myself when Sid reached in and turned off the hot water....COLD, freezing cold water....Oh My God....I sobered up in a hurry and he was holding the shower door shut so I couldn't get out....to stupid to turn off the water...I just slid down to the floor and sat there in the cold water crying.....where I stayed for what seemed like hours...when I finally emerged from the bathroom....I was feeling pretty sick...I suffer greatly of hangover when I drink...and boy was I hungover....so imagine my horror when Sid announces to me that we have company coming over that evening...it was about 7 pm by this time...and no sooner did he tell me than there was a knock on the door.....OH GOD....I had to sit there the rest of the night watching them drink and celebrate my birthday when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and die.....how awful....
Any way, I am a lot older now and find myself faced with a life decision.... to keep my pierced ear lobes or not....Oh I mean not have them chopped off or anything but to keep wearing the studs in them or take them out and let the holes grow in.... I have a metal allergy, have had for years....so unless I wear really expensive ear studs (gold)...they bother me a lot.... I can't wear dangle earrings or I get a rash on my neck...so I have been wondering lately, why bother....just take them out and maybe my ears will feel better...
What do you think I should do..... I don't know why I haven't been able to just do it....I know what I want to do...I want to just take them out and not bother....but I went through hell when I got them...infection and what have you...so they are like a badge of courage to me...I guess.. and it feels a bit like surrender taking them out....
I guess I will just have to ponder it some more and then suck it up and decide.
here are some pics of the snow and drifting that took place at our place and we didn't get as much snow as some places...but it is over three feet deep now and deeper where the drifts are...
Any way, I am a lot older now and find myself faced with a life decision.... to keep my pierced ear lobes or not....Oh I mean not have them chopped off or anything but to keep wearing the studs in them or take them out and let the holes grow in.... I have a metal allergy, have had for years....so unless I wear really expensive ear studs (gold)...they bother me a lot.... I can't wear dangle earrings or I get a rash on my neck...so I have been wondering lately, why bother....just take them out and maybe my ears will feel better...
What do you think I should do..... I don't know why I haven't been able to just do it....I know what I want to do...I want to just take them out and not bother....but I went through hell when I got them...infection and what have you...so they are like a badge of courage to me...I guess.. and it feels a bit like surrender taking them out....
I guess I will just have to ponder it some more and then suck it up and decide.
December 11, 2010
Any Minute Now
I always had this idea of what I would be like when I was Old....but I never imagined anything like what my reality is like...hahaha When I was very young I used to see myself being a teacher, and helping kids find the thing inside them that brings out the passion for what they are...like my teacher did for me....but as time went by and I got a bit older that vision faded and I saw myself more as someone who would perhaps impact more in just her tiny little world... but it would be great...my kids would be genius's , doctors, lawyers and such, and they would all (I planned to have half a dozen) be so loving and appreciative to their dear old mom.....hah....and now...as I enter middle age....I am hit squarely in the face with cold reality once again....( or perhaps for the first time) No body really gives a shit about you, but you !!!!!
I am sitting here even now waiting and hoping the phone rings and my only son will call me up and wish me a happy holiday, perhaps ask what my plans are for Christmas, perhaps even radically inviting the join him and his wife for the day... any minute now......the phone might ring....
Who am I kidding.... God...we humans are an eternally optimistic bunch aren't we ? A fool...that's what I am....I just can't seem to let go of hope... my sister said that's all we really have...is hope...what a depressing thought...because I am getting down on it.... I call friends up to get together and they are off shopping with their daughters or watching their sons kids...or some are even packing for a trip to Vegas for the whole Xmas holidays...grand canyon, LA. the beach....must be nice...and they are taking their son with them....yup....and so here I sit, just me and my jigsaw puzzles...and occasionally Robert, which when it happens is great...I love him dearly but he is happy with it just being us 2 and I can't seem to let go of the dream of a big happy family all home for the holidays...or better yet...my son inviting us to spend the day with his family..if he had one...
The folks whose place we have spent Christmas day with the past few years are the ones going to Vegas.... leaving us with no where to go...so I had made peace with the two of us just staying at home and had planned the meal and perhaps a bit of tobogganing later in the day...I love tobogganing...did you know? But then other friends of ours invited us to there place...kinda weird...because I specifically remember her telling me once that they never had people over during Christmas. it was strictly for family, meaning them and their kids...they are very close with their children and their families...so now they have invited us and we hesitantly said yes...wondering how weird it is going to be...them uncomfortable having someone other than family there (first time for them) and us not knowing their kids that well.... I want to back out but Robert says it will be fine... Oh well....we shall see...don't get me wrong...I am very appreciative of their kind offer, but can't help feeling that they only invited us because our other mutual friends trip to Vegas. A charity case...I guess is how it feels... and I am nobodies charity case...besides it only makes me more melancholy to see other people with their families around them during the holidays...hahahaha Unrealistic I know...but we can't help how we feel....
It makes my want to march over to my sons place, grab him by the ear and kick him in the shins and say "how come you can't be more like Barb's son?"
On a different note.... I hate shopping this time of the year...and I don't mean Christmas shopping, since Robert and I are both on the same plain about buying gifts.... It's Christmas's every day in our house....well at least when it comes to getting want we want....So WE DO NOT BUY GIFTS, for anyone..ever.... but that doesn't mean the rest of the planet isn't doing it..and MY GOD, are people rude... I just want to get into costco get what I need and get out....but it is like running a steeple chase...dodging inattentive shoppers with big buggies, whining bratty kids, and rude people who just leave their cart in the middle of the aisle and wander off to look at something...like they were the only ones in the world who matter. Argghhhh Robert has to physically restrain me from shoving people or swearing at them...so by the time we get out of the stores...I am ready to break something....preferably their necks...
It should be like when their is a water shortage and people want to water their lawns....even number addresses water on even days odd numbers on odd number days....well shopping could be like that at Christmas....that would cut down the numbers by half.....the best thing is to just stay home but we need to eat...and even the local grocery stores are insane...people getting kidney punched for the last turkey....as if....
Well, I will undoubtedly be back on whining again before the big day...after all we are going back to the city this coming week, and I am sure it will be bedlam...wish me luck and I to you, in your endeavours for the perfect gift....
I am sitting here even now waiting and hoping the phone rings and my only son will call me up and wish me a happy holiday, perhaps ask what my plans are for Christmas, perhaps even radically inviting the join him and his wife for the day... any minute now......the phone might ring....
Who am I kidding.... God...we humans are an eternally optimistic bunch aren't we ? A fool...that's what I am....I just can't seem to let go of hope... my sister said that's all we really have...is hope...what a depressing thought...because I am getting down on it.... I call friends up to get together and they are off shopping with their daughters or watching their sons kids...or some are even packing for a trip to Vegas for the whole Xmas holidays...grand canyon, LA. the beach....must be nice...and they are taking their son with them....yup....and so here I sit, just me and my jigsaw puzzles...and occasionally Robert, which when it happens is great...I love him dearly but he is happy with it just being us 2 and I can't seem to let go of the dream of a big happy family all home for the holidays...or better yet...my son inviting us to spend the day with his family..if he had one...
The folks whose place we have spent Christmas day with the past few years are the ones going to Vegas.... leaving us with no where to go...so I had made peace with the two of us just staying at home and had planned the meal and perhaps a bit of tobogganing later in the day...I love tobogganing...did you know? But then other friends of ours invited us to there place...kinda weird...because I specifically remember her telling me once that they never had people over during Christmas. it was strictly for family, meaning them and their kids...they are very close with their children and their families...so now they have invited us and we hesitantly said yes...wondering how weird it is going to be...them uncomfortable having someone other than family there (first time for them) and us not knowing their kids that well.... I want to back out but Robert says it will be fine... Oh well....we shall see...don't get me wrong...I am very appreciative of their kind offer, but can't help feeling that they only invited us because our other mutual friends trip to Vegas. A charity case...I guess is how it feels... and I am nobodies charity case...besides it only makes me more melancholy to see other people with their families around them during the holidays...hahahaha Unrealistic I know...but we can't help how we feel....
It makes my want to march over to my sons place, grab him by the ear and kick him in the shins and say "how come you can't be more like Barb's son?"
On a different note.... I hate shopping this time of the year...and I don't mean Christmas shopping, since Robert and I are both on the same plain about buying gifts.... It's Christmas's every day in our house....well at least when it comes to getting want we want....So WE DO NOT BUY GIFTS, for anyone..ever.... but that doesn't mean the rest of the planet isn't doing it..and MY GOD, are people rude... I just want to get into costco get what I need and get out....but it is like running a steeple chase...dodging inattentive shoppers with big buggies, whining bratty kids, and rude people who just leave their cart in the middle of the aisle and wander off to look at something...like they were the only ones in the world who matter. Argghhhh Robert has to physically restrain me from shoving people or swearing at them...so by the time we get out of the stores...I am ready to break something....preferably their necks...
It should be like when their is a water shortage and people want to water their lawns....even number addresses water on even days odd numbers on odd number days....well shopping could be like that at Christmas....that would cut down the numbers by half.....the best thing is to just stay home but we need to eat...and even the local grocery stores are insane...people getting kidney punched for the last turkey....as if....
Well, I will undoubtedly be back on whining again before the big day...after all we are going back to the city this coming week, and I am sure it will be bedlam...wish me luck and I to you, in your endeavours for the perfect gift....
December 5, 2010
Such Crap
Why is it that the cost of things we buy keeps going up while quality keeps going down...isn't it enough that they are charging more ? Apparently not, they need to gouge even more money by making their product as cheaply as they can, and if that means that you get less, way less than you paid for, so what....
Robert got his new glasses late last week and I really like them, the frames I picked out myself while his eyes were dilated by drops and he couldn't see good enough to choose them....hahahaha I could have got him hot pink ones with sparkly initials on the side but instead I went for a dark copper wire frame...they look really nice on him, a big change from his thicker silver frames....and we convinced him, the lady at the optometrists office and I, to go with plastic lenses rather than glass, which he had always gotten. They would be so much lighter on your nose...it would feel like he wasn't even wearing glasses after always having those heavy glass ones....
Well they came, and when we left our pockets were lighter to the tune of just over $600. but I was happy, Robert had just made a big leap forward in time as far as his looks went...I think....(he had been wearing exactly the same frames since he was a teenager, just kept getting new ones of the same thing)
the problem is, he has to have the tough coat put on them because he is very hard on his glasses....dust, scratches, banging, and out and out falling off his face....stepping on them, oil and grease...etc. etc. etc.... and because he wears them all the time he likes to have transition lenses, the ones that turn dark outside....so he has worn the new glasses over the weekend but he was hardly outside....but this morning he goes out...it's -15..not too cold...and he's out there for a couple of hours...when he comes to the back door and shouts...
"Cath, can you bring me my old glasses". I did and he says he can't see out of the new ones.....I thought he was just being funny but then he hands them to me and OMG... he really can't see out of them, they have gone completely dark....like looking through super dark sunglasses....I mean really really dark....so I kept them inside and he put on his old glasses.....sigh....... I hate them now...the old ones....he looks so old fashioned in them....
It took his new glasses nearly and hour in the warm house to finally start lightening up....and now one of the lenses is weird....it has a patch in the centre that is brighter and the sides are darker....blotchy... so back to the optometrists we go tomorrow.... because if they are going to do that every time he is out in the cold....well, it just can't happen....and it isn't even that cold yet....
Robert got his new glasses late last week and I really like them, the frames I picked out myself while his eyes were dilated by drops and he couldn't see good enough to choose them....hahahaha I could have got him hot pink ones with sparkly initials on the side but instead I went for a dark copper wire frame...they look really nice on him, a big change from his thicker silver frames....and we convinced him, the lady at the optometrists office and I, to go with plastic lenses rather than glass, which he had always gotten. They would be so much lighter on your nose...it would feel like he wasn't even wearing glasses after always having those heavy glass ones....
Well they came, and when we left our pockets were lighter to the tune of just over $600. but I was happy, Robert had just made a big leap forward in time as far as his looks went...I think....(he had been wearing exactly the same frames since he was a teenager, just kept getting new ones of the same thing)
the problem is, he has to have the tough coat put on them because he is very hard on his glasses....dust, scratches, banging, and out and out falling off his face....stepping on them, oil and grease...etc. etc. etc.... and because he wears them all the time he likes to have transition lenses, the ones that turn dark outside....so he has worn the new glasses over the weekend but he was hardly outside....but this morning he goes out...it's -15..not too cold...and he's out there for a couple of hours...when he comes to the back door and shouts...
"Cath, can you bring me my old glasses". I did and he says he can't see out of the new ones.....I thought he was just being funny but then he hands them to me and OMG... he really can't see out of them, they have gone completely dark....like looking through super dark sunglasses....I mean really really dark....so I kept them inside and he put on his old glasses.....sigh....... I hate them now...the old ones....he looks so old fashioned in them....
It took his new glasses nearly and hour in the warm house to finally start lightening up....and now one of the lenses is weird....it has a patch in the centre that is brighter and the sides are darker....blotchy... so back to the optometrists we go tomorrow.... because if they are going to do that every time he is out in the cold....well, it just can't happen....and it isn't even that cold yet....
December 4, 2010
Scammers
This is sooooo funny. Got a call a couple of nights ago from Roberts brother...just as a side note (T, is up to his receding hairline in debt).
He tells me he just received this letter forwarded to him from the nursing home his and Roberts mother lived in before she passed away... The letter was in an envelope post marked ITALY....and was allegedly from a Spanish Lawyer named Guillermo Lopez....hahahahah gave some official looking address yada yada yada.... Dear Makepeace sorry for this unsolicited letter but you share the same last name as a client of mine who recently passed away leaving 8.8 million US dollars in a vault, that will be claimed by the Spanish government in the new year....If I do not find a living relative to inherit...and while I know you are not related to Mr. Anthony Makepeace...hahahahha I feel if I present you as an heir, given your sharing the same last name that the court would accept that and we could share the money....50/50..... hahahaha
they give a bunch of numbers for you to contact yada yada yada.....
I googled him....its definitely a scam and there are hundreds of people emailing a Spanish on line legal aide site asking if these lawyers are legitimate...hahahaha of course they're not....and the real lawyers in Spain are outraged that this taking place.... apparently it was started by Nigerian transplants living in Spain and has recently expanded to include some Brit's and French...they have a ring...using many different names....but the ultimate goal is to either get your bank account number to which they would transfer your share of funds into....(ya right !!) or asking you to send funds to a bank account somewhere from which they might pay for any unforeseen costs in attaining this so called fortune...hahahahahah. Sadly these low lifes target seniors.
I told Robert it was a scam right away..and after reading the letter he agreed...we googled and found out all we needed to know but when Robert let his brother know (who is not computer literate) he was very disappointed...OMG.... I have to say I was surprised, because if you knew T, you would never have taken him for someone who would fall for a con....he is the most sceptical person I have ever met next to myself . But I guess, greed and desperation make us do stupid things....I hope he didn't go ahead and answer the letter on his own by snail mail...he says he didn't but I am not sure if he would tell us the truth....
He tells me he just received this letter forwarded to him from the nursing home his and Roberts mother lived in before she passed away... The letter was in an envelope post marked ITALY....and was allegedly from a Spanish Lawyer named Guillermo Lopez....hahahahah gave some official looking address yada yada yada.... Dear Makepeace sorry for this unsolicited letter but you share the same last name as a client of mine who recently passed away leaving 8.8 million US dollars in a vault, that will be claimed by the Spanish government in the new year....If I do not find a living relative to inherit...and while I know you are not related to Mr. Anthony Makepeace...hahahahha I feel if I present you as an heir, given your sharing the same last name that the court would accept that and we could share the money....50/50..... hahahaha
they give a bunch of numbers for you to contact yada yada yada.....
I googled him....its definitely a scam and there are hundreds of people emailing a Spanish on line legal aide site asking if these lawyers are legitimate...hahahaha of course they're not....and the real lawyers in Spain are outraged that this taking place.... apparently it was started by Nigerian transplants living in Spain and has recently expanded to include some Brit's and French...they have a ring...using many different names....but the ultimate goal is to either get your bank account number to which they would transfer your share of funds into....(ya right !!) or asking you to send funds to a bank account somewhere from which they might pay for any unforeseen costs in attaining this so called fortune...hahahahahah. Sadly these low lifes target seniors.
I told Robert it was a scam right away..and after reading the letter he agreed...we googled and found out all we needed to know but when Robert let his brother know (who is not computer literate) he was very disappointed...OMG.... I have to say I was surprised, because if you knew T, you would never have taken him for someone who would fall for a con....he is the most sceptical person I have ever met next to myself . But I guess, greed and desperation make us do stupid things....I hope he didn't go ahead and answer the letter on his own by snail mail...he says he didn't but I am not sure if he would tell us the truth....
December 2, 2010
Mmmmmmm
Mmmmmm I awoke this morning with the urge to cook a nice meal...after spending the majority of the week so far in town....getting vehicle maintenance work done...and eating at this towns less than stellar dining choices....which comprise: A&W, KFC (which we never go to) and a hole in the wall place that deep fries their steaks and under cooks the veggies...but costs an arm and a leg. My stomach is rebelling and I was awake for a good part of the night with nausea....and the other part of the night's sleep was interrupted by a horrible crashing noise that pulled both Robert (who sleeps like the dead usually, so you know it had to be loud) and I from a sound sleep around 4 am....When I heard him stirring I panicked and leaped from bed, hoping I could investigate before he was completely woken up (once that happens neither of us gets back to sleep) and I quietly padded into the spare room...where I thought the noise had come from...and sure enough...I was bent over picking up the offending object when BLAAAAAAA the overhead light comes on to capture me at my most vulnerable (naked) in a bent over position...hahahahaha the first words out of my mouth were, go back to bed....and the first words out his mouth were....what the hell happened...
It was the globe....you know...of the world...that had sat perched atop the cabinet above the computer for three months now, chose that moment to topple off its perch, bounce resoundingly off the computer desk and land on the floor....leaving in its wake a huge dent in our new and might I say expensive cabinetry. The stand that the globe spins on was a bit bent...I re bent it and it's near new again...not so much the desk... I know I am going to regret not going the cheaper route and putting laminate counters on that cabinetry...oh no... I had to be hoity toity and go with the more expensive but less hardy wood top....serves me right
I plunked the damn globe down on the counter and shut the light off, Robert had already collapsed back into bed and I soon joined him....we laid there for half an hour...and neither one of us was anywhere near going back to sleep... and I could tell what was going through R's mind....which is great for him, as it puts right to sleep.... and I spent the next couple of hours tossing and turning...and finally as the first light of day began filtering in the bedroom windows I must have fallen asleep...the next thing I remember was R...rubbing my back to wake me up....and.....I ......think......I might have hit him....hahahhhahaha but I was awake and felt horrible ( no not for hitting him but from lack of sleep)...I am going to be dragging my ass later in the day...and I have a difficult time napping in the daytime...
So, to get back to what I said at the top of this page....I am cooking today...roast chicken with all the fixings...
tomorrow we are heading into the city to give back some genie info I borrowed and catch a couple of movies...then hit a couple of stores and home....
I am still glued to the coffee table doing jigsaws...and hope to grab a few new ones at walmart tomorrow... I was going to do some baking today but I think I will pass that off for another day, when I am move alert... right now I am in a puzzle frenzy
It was the globe....you know...of the world...that had sat perched atop the cabinet above the computer for three months now, chose that moment to topple off its perch, bounce resoundingly off the computer desk and land on the floor....leaving in its wake a huge dent in our new and might I say expensive cabinetry. The stand that the globe spins on was a bit bent...I re bent it and it's near new again...not so much the desk... I know I am going to regret not going the cheaper route and putting laminate counters on that cabinetry...oh no... I had to be hoity toity and go with the more expensive but less hardy wood top....serves me right
I plunked the damn globe down on the counter and shut the light off, Robert had already collapsed back into bed and I soon joined him....we laid there for half an hour...and neither one of us was anywhere near going back to sleep... and I could tell what was going through R's mind....which is great for him, as it puts right to sleep.... and I spent the next couple of hours tossing and turning...and finally as the first light of day began filtering in the bedroom windows I must have fallen asleep...the next thing I remember was R...rubbing my back to wake me up....and.....I ......think......I might have hit him....hahahhhahaha but I was awake and felt horrible ( no not for hitting him but from lack of sleep)...I am going to be dragging my ass later in the day...and I have a difficult time napping in the daytime...
So, to get back to what I said at the top of this page....I am cooking today...roast chicken with all the fixings...
tomorrow we are heading into the city to give back some genie info I borrowed and catch a couple of movies...then hit a couple of stores and home....
I am still glued to the coffee table doing jigsaws...and hope to grab a few new ones at walmart tomorrow... I was going to do some baking today but I think I will pass that off for another day, when I am move alert... right now I am in a puzzle frenzy
November 30, 2010
Yuk
The past two day were spent vaccinating the herd for preventative reasons, scour shots for the bred heifers and cows to protect the coming baby calves from diarrhea when they are born in Jan....and the few heifer calves and bulls we have for blackleg and other viral diseases... and we treated everyone for lice and warbles....that's my job....I walk up and down the catwalk with a 10 L jug of dope on my back and a hose and gun attached to that...and squirt the right amount of dope on each cows back....according to her body weight...which I have to eyeball and calculate....I also have to job of chasing the cattle up the alley way, but since we have such a nice system it is really not much trouble to do that...not like years ago....when if I got run over only once or twice it was considered a good day....no wonder I am in such rough shape in my middle age....hahahaha
Robert is up at the squeeze (a metal contraption that catches the cows and presses in on them to keep them still) giving the shots and reading the tags...
I would prefer to do all this when the weather is warmer but due to management issues we seem to always get around to doing it after the nasty weather has set in...and so I freeze my ass off. This is a shot of the cows yesterday after we let them back out into the field, it was like a mass exodus to safety...hahahaha
the rest of last week I spent putting up the old Christmas tree....I even got really radical and pimped it up a bit by adding some green ornaments to the red and gold theme we had going before....I also put on some of my old ornaments from when my son was little...the little wooden soldiers and crystal wreaths.... it looks nice enough....next year I am thinking all green and white ornaments....hmmmmmm better start bargain shopping.... Micheals here I come...
Robert is up at the squeeze (a metal contraption that catches the cows and presses in on them to keep them still) giving the shots and reading the tags...
I would prefer to do all this when the weather is warmer but due to management issues we seem to always get around to doing it after the nasty weather has set in...and so I freeze my ass off. This is a shot of the cows yesterday after we let them back out into the field, it was like a mass exodus to safety...hahahaha
The presents are for decoration only, we are a none gift household...."everyday with you is Christmas to me ", as Robert says....awwwwww
I know it is because he says shit like that, that people don't believe me when I say he can be an asshole sometimes....they think I am a hard hearted bitch....hahahah whatever....they don't have to live with him....hahahahahha
I am currently doing jigsaw puzzles....one of my few addictions...nothing else gets done when there is a puzzle on the coffee table...I can not tear myself away...even to eat...and take all my meals at the coffee table...Robert just rolls his eyes...but he has never been very good at them...I time myself...I love the challenge...I'm a puzzle addict....I confess... there are worse things in life to be addicted to.... and Walmart has puzzles on sale for $3. each....whooo hooo going on Friday to stock up....by the way I only do jigsaws in December.....but when I was kid we did them all winter long....the whole family, it is one of the few memories I have of doing something together and having that camaraderie...maybe that's why I love them....and it is bad when we go to our friends and they have one out ...because I will work on it to the exclusion of visiting.....I am embarrassed to say....I shut everything else out and am in puzzle heaven.....hahahahaha there is something I bet you didn't know about me....
November 26, 2010
Oh Bother
Well, we delivered more beef to loyal customers yesterday and had a very nice visit with my old friends Clarence and Phyllis.... I took some of my Christmas baking and they enjoyed it very much....butter tarts, Peanut butter confetti, naniamo bar, and Ritzy sqrs. Phyllis made us a lovely supper and between that and visiting with folks whom you've known most of your life and know they love you was a real treat for me....a chance to really relax and be ones self.
hahaha Robert was so relaxed he fell asleep....ahahahha
Today is just a day for me to get caught up with some things sitting on my desk, correspondence, bill paying, accounts and facebooking...hahahaha I did some laundry and tonight we have some other friends coming over for some card playing...
I was having a lot of trouble with my back the past week and it was keeping me from getting any quality sleep...so in desperation I dusted off the old yoga CD and tried that...hahahahah I couldn't move for two days....ahahaha and so have had to modify some of the moves because they are just physically impossible for me to achieve....my joints just don't bend that way any more...
I have had to come to the disappointing realization that I could never be a couch potato, even if I were inclined to that sort of slothery.... after two days of inactivity and TV watching...I ache all over and need to move ...be physical.
My computer is diseased....it has some serious issues that need to be resolved, so I am not on line that much....my computer guru thinks I have picked up that virus that has been going around for the past two weeks or so....and I am beginning to believe him....so my computer will have to go on a little holiday to his house....once he and his wife are over the flu bug ....nasty from the sounds of it....and I don't want to get it.....so I am limping along as best I can for now....
Tomorrow we are delivering some more beef near the city and will try to catch a movie while we are there..... Russel Crow here I come....
Robert has another eye appointment for the glaucoma test....he didn't take in the spring...dumby.... his dad went blind from glaucoma and apparently so did his grand father ....from what I gather from these old family letters dating back into the 1940's..... amazing the things you learn from someones junky old letters....but I intend to tell his optometrist.... now I am even madder for his not going back for the tests and not telling me about them...I would have made him go....
Here are some photo's of Jen's visit and around the farm.
Kim, Jen's sister came for a visit while Jen was here. See farming is in our blood.
the boys looking for that darned squirrel
the moose Jen and I saw while driving on the land, he passed right in front of the truck but it took a few seconds to get the camera's out...by then he was a ways away.
the old hen house....I think it is quaintly rustic...I might even paint a picture of it.
Robert being cheesy for the camera...
Getting ready to brave the frigid weather, -30 and we were going for supper to the casino to celebrate Roberts birthday....now that's Canadians for ya.
hahaha Robert was so relaxed he fell asleep....ahahahha
Today is just a day for me to get caught up with some things sitting on my desk, correspondence, bill paying, accounts and facebooking...hahahaha I did some laundry and tonight we have some other friends coming over for some card playing...
I was having a lot of trouble with my back the past week and it was keeping me from getting any quality sleep...so in desperation I dusted off the old yoga CD and tried that...hahahahah I couldn't move for two days....ahahaha and so have had to modify some of the moves because they are just physically impossible for me to achieve....my joints just don't bend that way any more...
I have had to come to the disappointing realization that I could never be a couch potato, even if I were inclined to that sort of slothery.... after two days of inactivity and TV watching...I ache all over and need to move ...be physical.
My computer is diseased....it has some serious issues that need to be resolved, so I am not on line that much....my computer guru thinks I have picked up that virus that has been going around for the past two weeks or so....and I am beginning to believe him....so my computer will have to go on a little holiday to his house....once he and his wife are over the flu bug ....nasty from the sounds of it....and I don't want to get it.....so I am limping along as best I can for now....
Tomorrow we are delivering some more beef near the city and will try to catch a movie while we are there..... Russel Crow here I come....
Robert has another eye appointment for the glaucoma test....he didn't take in the spring...dumby.... his dad went blind from glaucoma and apparently so did his grand father ....from what I gather from these old family letters dating back into the 1940's..... amazing the things you learn from someones junky old letters....but I intend to tell his optometrist.... now I am even madder for his not going back for the tests and not telling me about them...I would have made him go....
Here are some photo's of Jen's visit and around the farm.
November 22, 2010
I know I say this a Lot
But, Oh My God..... on sunday R and I braved the frigid weather and drove into the city...to visit with his cousin, who had invited us to talk about genealogy...she had a few questions for me and the carrot she dangled in my face was her grandmothers box of old family letters and photo's, so how could I resist. As it turned out it was worth the effort and the minor frost bite....hahahah
I was allowed to cherry pick through the box and bring home all the very best letters and photo's. I scanned them all today and now they are forever in my computer and soon to be on disk....hahahaha I can return the originals to her next week....wooooo hooooo.... just so you know, some of these letters date back to 1878.... and forward....the best ones are from her condiscending, pompous brother who remained in New York and worked for Metropolitan life insurance....boy was he full of himself....and wasn't shy about doling out advice about raising kids when he wasn't married or a father...ahahaha typical..
This cousins Grandmother was sister to R's grandfather so there is all kinds of family info in them....
I especially love the letters that her future husband wrote to her while she was taking nurses training in Red Deer in 1900. He missed her dreadfully.
Now begins the laborious job of entering all the data into my genealogy program and charts and then taking it to office depot and getting copies made.
I knew I would get sucked back into the whole genie addiction thing...sigh.....it could be a long winter.
I was allowed to cherry pick through the box and bring home all the very best letters and photo's. I scanned them all today and now they are forever in my computer and soon to be on disk....hahahaha I can return the originals to her next week....wooooo hooooo.... just so you know, some of these letters date back to 1878.... and forward....the best ones are from her condiscending, pompous brother who remained in New York and worked for Metropolitan life insurance....boy was he full of himself....and wasn't shy about doling out advice about raising kids when he wasn't married or a father...ahahaha typical..
This cousins Grandmother was sister to R's grandfather so there is all kinds of family info in them....
I especially love the letters that her future husband wrote to her while she was taking nurses training in Red Deer in 1900. He missed her dreadfully.
Now begins the laborious job of entering all the data into my genealogy program and charts and then taking it to office depot and getting copies made.
I knew I would get sucked back into the whole genie addiction thing...sigh.....it could be a long winter.
November 19, 2010
OH MY GOD !!!!!
Holy crap.....we have to move the cows home today.....and it is -27......too freaking cold to be outside...never mind riding a quad, with the wind freezing your face solid....brrrrrrr.... one of the things that irritates the hell out of me...is that two weeks ago I mentioned to R about bringing the cows home before the weather got bad....but oh nooooooooooo.... they can still pick at the grass......so now in the past two days we have had a foot of snow....and it is - 27.....the snow has stopped but it cleared and the thermometer dropped.....great...... the only good thing about the snow is that the Xmas lights look prettier at night....
I had planned in the back of my mind to get back to my painting...it has been since early June that I held a brush.....But now, R's cousin has called and wants me to do some more genealogy for her and she has spoken to a professor at the U of A about my books and that prof. would like to speak with me....something to do with some project the Univ. is doing about early pioneer women of Alberta....apparently she read my work and wants to speak to me....
I had done a ton of work on that branch of R's family this spring and swore after 3 months...that I was done working on it...and not going to do anymore projects like that.....and here we are... R has volunteered me to do this new one and I am very angry...and yes....I am acting like a petulant little child being forced to clean its room..... I don't want to do it...and you can't make me...but he can....he just has to look at me with that disappointed look in his eyes...like I have really hurt him because I am not the person he thought I was......fuck...how the hell can you ignore that.... so I will do it.....BUT I WON'T ENJOY IT AND THEN THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME...~!!!!!!!!!!!!
But it could take months ....genealogy is like an addiction...it sucks you in...and before you are even aware months and months have gone by...
I will be forced to kiss some one's ass to get access to ancestry.com since I let my membership lapse....damn....I will have to decide who among the old genie club is the lesser of evils and will gloat the least....bugger it.... I hate kissing ass.
You have to eat sleep and breath genie...until it is all you think about ....it is the only way to keep it all straight in your head and be able to remember dates and names.... the frustrating thing is I have one whole side of my family I have yet to put into book form.....because of time constraints....and yet here I am doing another (the 5th) book on a branch of the Makepeace family....
So I was informed yesterday morning that we have a date on Sunday afternoon to meet with his cousin...and go through the old letters and photo's she has and make an outline of what she would like to appear in the book.....the ironic part is that the work I did this spring was about this branch of the family but she did not disclose the fact that she had all this lovely family heirloom material until after I had the book completed....I was angry and frustrated...and told them then that if the chose to add the new found material to the book they should just purchase a bigger binder and add the pages themselves......but apparently they heard me about as good as R did.... NO BODY LISTENS TO ME.....
I JUST WANT TO PAINT....not do genie....
I had planned in the back of my mind to get back to my painting...it has been since early June that I held a brush.....But now, R's cousin has called and wants me to do some more genealogy for her and she has spoken to a professor at the U of A about my books and that prof. would like to speak with me....something to do with some project the Univ. is doing about early pioneer women of Alberta....apparently she read my work and wants to speak to me....
I had done a ton of work on that branch of R's family this spring and swore after 3 months...that I was done working on it...and not going to do anymore projects like that.....and here we are... R has volunteered me to do this new one and I am very angry...and yes....I am acting like a petulant little child being forced to clean its room..... I don't want to do it...and you can't make me...but he can....he just has to look at me with that disappointed look in his eyes...like I have really hurt him because I am not the person he thought I was......fuck...how the hell can you ignore that.... so I will do it.....BUT I WON'T ENJOY IT AND THEN THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME...~!!!!!!!!!!!!
But it could take months ....genealogy is like an addiction...it sucks you in...and before you are even aware months and months have gone by...
I will be forced to kiss some one's ass to get access to ancestry.com since I let my membership lapse....damn....I will have to decide who among the old genie club is the lesser of evils and will gloat the least....bugger it.... I hate kissing ass.
You have to eat sleep and breath genie...until it is all you think about ....it is the only way to keep it all straight in your head and be able to remember dates and names.... the frustrating thing is I have one whole side of my family I have yet to put into book form.....because of time constraints....and yet here I am doing another (the 5th) book on a branch of the Makepeace family....
So I was informed yesterday morning that we have a date on Sunday afternoon to meet with his cousin...and go through the old letters and photo's she has and make an outline of what she would like to appear in the book.....the ironic part is that the work I did this spring was about this branch of the family but she did not disclose the fact that she had all this lovely family heirloom material until after I had the book completed....I was angry and frustrated...and told them then that if the chose to add the new found material to the book they should just purchase a bigger binder and add the pages themselves......but apparently they heard me about as good as R did.... NO BODY LISTENS TO ME.....
I JUST WANT TO PAINT....not do genie....
November 18, 2010
To The Happy People of the World
Go f' yourselves.
Try as I might, I just cannot seem to attain a lasting happiness....to me it is like some oft spoke of land of fairy. Glittering light, twinkling chimes, laughter, giggles and warm fuzzy feelings.
I catch rare glimpses of it, I imagine I can feel it, like the fluttery feeling of a butterfly's wing on my cheek, but then, no....not quite...but close, so very close....
Close enough to keep me yearning...
Misery, I protect my misery, like a child in my care, it comforts me, it is familiar, like an old sweater of my dads, I cling to it, I feel it...but I know it well....why reach for the unknown, when the familiar is here, easy and accessible...empty but mine. Just once I would feel the sensation...of happiness, contentment, just once, then could I find it again upon will. Cling to it and no other feeling. Fill myself full of it, and share it...gift it to loved ones...
But no, it is not meant for me, whether deserving or not I will yearn from afar for what others sometimes find...
Try as I might, I just cannot seem to attain a lasting happiness....to me it is like some oft spoke of land of fairy. Glittering light, twinkling chimes, laughter, giggles and warm fuzzy feelings.
I catch rare glimpses of it, I imagine I can feel it, like the fluttery feeling of a butterfly's wing on my cheek, but then, no....not quite...but close, so very close....
Close enough to keep me yearning...
Misery, I protect my misery, like a child in my care, it comforts me, it is familiar, like an old sweater of my dads, I cling to it, I feel it...but I know it well....why reach for the unknown, when the familiar is here, easy and accessible...empty but mine. Just once I would feel the sensation...of happiness, contentment, just once, then could I find it again upon will. Cling to it and no other feeling. Fill myself full of it, and share it...gift it to loved ones...
But no, it is not meant for me, whether deserving or not I will yearn from afar for what others sometimes find...
November 16, 2010
I have post Jen Depression
Wow, what a whirl wind visit that was....but good in every way....It was so lovely to see Jen after a couple of years... We cracked each other up and I think she liked my kittens...ahahahahaha It is funny to see that someone in the family has inherited my moms penchant for taking a gazillion pictures of the same thing, in this case kittens... but unlike granny she did get some awesome shots.
the first full day of her visit we chilled out in the house and got caught up on the news...after lunch we went on a nature drive/walk...the first thing we saw was a young white tail buck deer...he was bit a shy but we did get a few photo's, then as we were driving slowly through an old trail in the bush a huge bull moose jumped the barbed wire fence and crossed the trail right in front of us...only about 10 yards away...he stopped after crossing the trail and looked at us...and then went into the trees a ways but stopped again for a few seconds to glance back...we managed to get a couple of photo's of him..he had an impressive set of antlers and was in very good shape, no ticks yet. We continued up to the northern edge of our land and walked down into a ravine to view the beaver dam and houses... we have that all fenced off to preserve his little eco system...but the scoundrel has cut down nearly all the trees and has the water backed up quite a ways...it was very interesting even thought we didn't see the beaver in person....the water is iced over and I was able to walk across the beaver dam...we saw elk and deer droppings along the trails there as well.
It was great that there has been no snow yet, and we were able to walk around the farm quite comfortably.
The second day of Jen's visit we were up quite early and on the road, with Robert driving...we were heading to a small town east of Olds, Alberta, famous for the dead gopher museum...something they have in abundance there is gophers and one of the old townsfolk had the idea to taxidermy the gophers h killed and dress them up in clothing and set them into little scenes depicting local events and happenings as well as lifestyle of the locals in Torrington.
It was kinda cheesy but at the same time, morbidly curious.
When we first arrived in Torrington, which consists of a post office, diner and pub, along with about 20 houses and a farm fertilizer company and curling arena, we stopped at the diner for a bite of lunch. The diner was occupied by a half dozen locals and when we entered all heads swung our way and we were given the once over....it was kind of funny, in a small town kind of way. The older lady waiting on the tables flirted big time with Robert until he reached over and held my hand....hahahahaha she got the message after that...weird place.... We had made an appointment to view the museum since it was closed at the end of Sept. and when we arrived there the older lady who met us gave us a brief but horribly annoying run down of what we would be seeing....I actually hoped she wouldn't give us her running commentary throughout the whole visit, and she didn't. luckily for us, some other people who just randomly stopped to visit the museum and found that we had made the appointment to have it opened, took advantage of that fact and came inside as well, they distracted her by buying some of the tacky souvenirs....and we were able to view the displays by ourselves....We all took lots of pictures, and I felt a bit like a group of Japanese tourists...the flashes were going off so often...hahahaha
After supper in Red Deer, we headed home and arrived there around 10 pm. that was very long day.
The next day, Saturday. Jen's sister Kim and her man Rob from Jasper came for a visit and stayed over night...so we had a house full....it was a great time...Jen and I had made a big meal and we all gorged ourselves...then played a board game and looked through the photo albums. sunday morning saw us all up for a big breakfast and then Jen Rob and Kim went for a nature walk to stretch their legs and afterwards Kim and Rob headed back and Jen and I basically crashed for the rest of the day...well at least I did...Sundays are always a draggy day for me after the kemo shot.
Jen Robert and I watched a movie that night and on Monday morning Jen got her stuff together to head home that afternoon....
So I got to spend a bit of quality time with my favorite niece...it was lovely, next time I hope to have her visit longer...this was a spur of the moment visit but it was great... I worried that if she did come for longer she would be bored...but I have since thought of tons of things we could do, so I made a list and will keep it handy for the next time.
I had seen my son twice the week before Jens visit and he seemed interested in coming over while Jen and Kim were here....but never did show up, or phone to say why, or just talk with them....so I am a bit embarrassed and disappointed with him and Robert is just plain angry, mostly because he knows how much I had hoped he would come. Oh, well, it is what it is.
Jen did some tweaking on my computer and I have to say, I like it much better...with the exception of a couple of things and those are easily changed....thanks Jen.
Oh ya, I almost forgot...after dropping Jen off at the airport...we headed home and stopped along the way to grab some fish and chips..at Joey's only....as I was putting my bag under the seat I rammed my baby finger into the seat mechanism and dislocated it...I made Robert vomit...when I howled..and grabbed my finger he swore and came around to my side of the truck and grabbed my hand, thinking I had cut it....but when he saw my baby finger bent backwards at the first joint from the finger nail...he turned green and vomited, just barely missing me....lucky for him is all I can say....I was howling and jumping up and down....he wanted to rush me to emerg. but I have had this kind of thing happen before and told him to just grab the end and pull on it....he blanched and didn't want to do it...I had to swear at him and threaten....and voila...we got it back the right way...but boy did it hurt... it is all swollen up and black and blue today...but it just aches a bit...I have it sticking out to the side while I type...like taking tea with the queen...ahahahahah
the first full day of her visit we chilled out in the house and got caught up on the news...after lunch we went on a nature drive/walk...the first thing we saw was a young white tail buck deer...he was bit a shy but we did get a few photo's, then as we were driving slowly through an old trail in the bush a huge bull moose jumped the barbed wire fence and crossed the trail right in front of us...only about 10 yards away...he stopped after crossing the trail and looked at us...and then went into the trees a ways but stopped again for a few seconds to glance back...we managed to get a couple of photo's of him..he had an impressive set of antlers and was in very good shape, no ticks yet. We continued up to the northern edge of our land and walked down into a ravine to view the beaver dam and houses... we have that all fenced off to preserve his little eco system...but the scoundrel has cut down nearly all the trees and has the water backed up quite a ways...it was very interesting even thought we didn't see the beaver in person....the water is iced over and I was able to walk across the beaver dam...we saw elk and deer droppings along the trails there as well.
It was great that there has been no snow yet, and we were able to walk around the farm quite comfortably.
The second day of Jen's visit we were up quite early and on the road, with Robert driving...we were heading to a small town east of Olds, Alberta, famous for the dead gopher museum...something they have in abundance there is gophers and one of the old townsfolk had the idea to taxidermy the gophers h killed and dress them up in clothing and set them into little scenes depicting local events and happenings as well as lifestyle of the locals in Torrington.
It was kinda cheesy but at the same time, morbidly curious.
When we first arrived in Torrington, which consists of a post office, diner and pub, along with about 20 houses and a farm fertilizer company and curling arena, we stopped at the diner for a bite of lunch. The diner was occupied by a half dozen locals and when we entered all heads swung our way and we were given the once over....it was kind of funny, in a small town kind of way. The older lady waiting on the tables flirted big time with Robert until he reached over and held my hand....hahahahaha she got the message after that...weird place.... We had made an appointment to view the museum since it was closed at the end of Sept. and when we arrived there the older lady who met us gave us a brief but horribly annoying run down of what we would be seeing....I actually hoped she wouldn't give us her running commentary throughout the whole visit, and she didn't. luckily for us, some other people who just randomly stopped to visit the museum and found that we had made the appointment to have it opened, took advantage of that fact and came inside as well, they distracted her by buying some of the tacky souvenirs....and we were able to view the displays by ourselves....We all took lots of pictures, and I felt a bit like a group of Japanese tourists...the flashes were going off so often...hahahaha
After supper in Red Deer, we headed home and arrived there around 10 pm. that was very long day.
The next day, Saturday. Jen's sister Kim and her man Rob from Jasper came for a visit and stayed over night...so we had a house full....it was a great time...Jen and I had made a big meal and we all gorged ourselves...then played a board game and looked through the photo albums. sunday morning saw us all up for a big breakfast and then Jen Rob and Kim went for a nature walk to stretch their legs and afterwards Kim and Rob headed back and Jen and I basically crashed for the rest of the day...well at least I did...Sundays are always a draggy day for me after the kemo shot.
Jen Robert and I watched a movie that night and on Monday morning Jen got her stuff together to head home that afternoon....
So I got to spend a bit of quality time with my favorite niece...it was lovely, next time I hope to have her visit longer...this was a spur of the moment visit but it was great... I worried that if she did come for longer she would be bored...but I have since thought of tons of things we could do, so I made a list and will keep it handy for the next time.
I had seen my son twice the week before Jens visit and he seemed interested in coming over while Jen and Kim were here....but never did show up, or phone to say why, or just talk with them....so I am a bit embarrassed and disappointed with him and Robert is just plain angry, mostly because he knows how much I had hoped he would come. Oh, well, it is what it is.
Jen did some tweaking on my computer and I have to say, I like it much better...with the exception of a couple of things and those are easily changed....thanks Jen.
Oh ya, I almost forgot...after dropping Jen off at the airport...we headed home and stopped along the way to grab some fish and chips..at Joey's only....as I was putting my bag under the seat I rammed my baby finger into the seat mechanism and dislocated it...I made Robert vomit...when I howled..and grabbed my finger he swore and came around to my side of the truck and grabbed my hand, thinking I had cut it....but when he saw my baby finger bent backwards at the first joint from the finger nail...he turned green and vomited, just barely missing me....lucky for him is all I can say....I was howling and jumping up and down....he wanted to rush me to emerg. but I have had this kind of thing happen before and told him to just grab the end and pull on it....he blanched and didn't want to do it...I had to swear at him and threaten....and voila...we got it back the right way...but boy did it hurt... it is all swollen up and black and blue today...but it just aches a bit...I have it sticking out to the side while I type...like taking tea with the queen...ahahahahah
November 7, 2010
The Count Down BEgins
Oh, I can count the sleeps on one hand now..... until my visitor arrives....ahahahha that sounds like something my mother would have said about my period...hahahahahah
but I am having an actual visitor...and am so looking forward to it... I hope to convince her to stay forever....hahahahahaha and bribes are not out of the question....
I caught a cold after the bull sale we went to....and after a week of the fuzzy head syndrome R now has it....hahahaha well, it isn't like I tried to warn him...but he insisted on kissing me and making me prepare his food even though I was germ infested....funny thing when guys get sick...it's like they are dying....from a head cold...hahahhha god he walks around like the life force has been sucked out of him and here I was just a week or so ago, swathing grain while in agonizing pain with shingles on my head....hahahahaha and they say women are the weaker sex..... must have been a man who thought that line up....
We went show home browsing yesterday with friends....it was our first time but they have done it often....we first saw a house worth 829,000.oo and I hated everything about it...it was horrible...then a 2.1 million dollar home on a postage stamp lot...and I didn't like much about it either to ostentatious...and full of it's self...and small bedrooms...and cheap finishes....like plastic tub surrounds and lights...
the third one was 2.3 million...and there was more I like about it but still...there were too many types of wood, crown moulding was different in each room...there were too many stairs...and the bar in the basement was ridiculously huge...who even uses a bar anymore.... so all in all, it made me appreciate the simplicity and clean style of my house as I wouldn't have traded for any of those...so there ya go... once question answered
I made 6 dozen butter tarts today...and tomorrow, bread and nanaimo bar...oh baby I'm on a roll.
but I am having an actual visitor...and am so looking forward to it... I hope to convince her to stay forever....hahahahahaha and bribes are not out of the question....
I caught a cold after the bull sale we went to....and after a week of the fuzzy head syndrome R now has it....hahahaha well, it isn't like I tried to warn him...but he insisted on kissing me and making me prepare his food even though I was germ infested....funny thing when guys get sick...it's like they are dying....from a head cold...hahahhha god he walks around like the life force has been sucked out of him and here I was just a week or so ago, swathing grain while in agonizing pain with shingles on my head....hahahahaha and they say women are the weaker sex..... must have been a man who thought that line up....
We went show home browsing yesterday with friends....it was our first time but they have done it often....we first saw a house worth 829,000.oo and I hated everything about it...it was horrible...then a 2.1 million dollar home on a postage stamp lot...and I didn't like much about it either to ostentatious...and full of it's self...and small bedrooms...and cheap finishes....like plastic tub surrounds and lights...
the third one was 2.3 million...and there was more I like about it but still...there were too many types of wood, crown moulding was different in each room...there were too many stairs...and the bar in the basement was ridiculously huge...who even uses a bar anymore.... so all in all, it made me appreciate the simplicity and clean style of my house as I wouldn't have traded for any of those...so there ya go... once question answered
I made 6 dozen butter tarts today...and tomorrow, bread and nanaimo bar...oh baby I'm on a roll.
November 5, 2010
Lord Take Me Now !!!
Quick, I have to write as fast as I can before telus cuts me off again... yes, it's true I am still having internet problems... I changed my whole phone plan over to try to avoid the problem but then the wiped my account clean and forgot to put telus anti virus back on...so I could not access the net without anti virus...I did that once a while ago and got virus's... so my computer made a road trip to Ray's and we let some tech guy from telus have control of my computer over the high speed and phone...it was actually pretty awesome...and they found the problem and after only 20 minutes on high speed all the problems were taken care of ....the hard part was, bringing the computer home to a dial connection....about the same comparison to staying at the hilton and then a roadside motel....ugh....Ray, updated windows for me and all my other software as well...so today when I plug it all back in....holy crap what a mess.....the pictures were so crappy I could count the pixels...and the font so small I couldn't read it...I will have to totally go through it all and re set all my prefs.
So I was just getting over a case of shingles when I began getting a scratchy throat and voila a full blown head cold....for the past week.... I lied and said I was fine just so I could get my flu shot....which for a change went off without a hitch.... I have now given R the head cold....yes our house is just the loveliest place to be right now...both of us sleep deprived, stressed and sick...
we are heading to the city tomorrow with friends to view a 2.8 million dollar show home...just for fun...see how the other half lives...I guess.
I put up my Xmas lights this week in spite of being sick...and they look lovely...I wait until after remembrance day out of respect and then I turn them on...my tree goes up around R's birthday...but maybe this year a bit sooner just to cheer the house up a bit...
I baled hay today..yes that's NOv 5th and I baled hay....just a bit but weird just the same...
So I hope that I have all the telus bullshit behind me now and can enjoy my internet connection for the winter...but time will tell...stay tuned for the ongoing saga...
Just a few more sleep until my favorite niece is here.....yipeeeeeeee
So I was just getting over a case of shingles when I began getting a scratchy throat and voila a full blown head cold....for the past week.... I lied and said I was fine just so I could get my flu shot....which for a change went off without a hitch.... I have now given R the head cold....yes our house is just the loveliest place to be right now...both of us sleep deprived, stressed and sick...
we are heading to the city tomorrow with friends to view a 2.8 million dollar show home...just for fun...see how the other half lives...I guess.
I put up my Xmas lights this week in spite of being sick...and they look lovely...I wait until after remembrance day out of respect and then I turn them on...my tree goes up around R's birthday...but maybe this year a bit sooner just to cheer the house up a bit...
I baled hay today..yes that's NOv 5th and I baled hay....just a bit but weird just the same...
So I hope that I have all the telus bullshit behind me now and can enjoy my internet connection for the winter...but time will tell...stay tuned for the ongoing saga...
Just a few more sleep until my favorite niece is here.....yipeeeeeeee
October 27, 2010
Oh, the fickleness of life
I sometimes have to stop and remember to breath....things just get so hectic...today for instance, we were slow getting out of bed after our day in the city yesterday...and now that there is snow on the ground it seems less imperative to rise early and head outdoors. brrrrrr.....
we scarffed down a couple of pieces of raisin toast and turned on the computer where upon I was chained the rest of the day.... logged on to a an online auction sale of agriculture equipment....even watching paint dry would have been more exciting but R had set me a task and god forbid I not perform to the best of my ability.... Telus cut me off a total of 5 times, at which time I had to start all over again... dial sucks the big dick in the sky....I have wet dreams about high speed....hahahahaha
we never ate again until 4:30......shame shame shame....my blood sugars were low...and my hands were shaking....not good... so now i am going to go and have a late supper....what I don't know...but R isn't in yet so I can have what I want...a bowl of honey nut cheerios with nice cold milk sets my taste buds to tingling so off I will go....
tomorrow is road trip day...heading to Innisfail to a cattle sale....oh yay...
the last one I went to I ended up with pneumonia....lets hope this one is better...well the results anyway...I don't like staying in hotels anymore...one never knows what you will bring home with you.... hopefully the dogs don't tear any more wood trim off the barn door trying to get outside while we are gone on our overnight trip or the fur will fly.
we scarffed down a couple of pieces of raisin toast and turned on the computer where upon I was chained the rest of the day.... logged on to a an online auction sale of agriculture equipment....even watching paint dry would have been more exciting but R had set me a task and god forbid I not perform to the best of my ability.... Telus cut me off a total of 5 times, at which time I had to start all over again... dial sucks the big dick in the sky....I have wet dreams about high speed....hahahahaha
we never ate again until 4:30......shame shame shame....my blood sugars were low...and my hands were shaking....not good... so now i am going to go and have a late supper....what I don't know...but R isn't in yet so I can have what I want...a bowl of honey nut cheerios with nice cold milk sets my taste buds to tingling so off I will go....
tomorrow is road trip day...heading to Innisfail to a cattle sale....oh yay...
the last one I went to I ended up with pneumonia....lets hope this one is better...well the results anyway...I don't like staying in hotels anymore...one never knows what you will bring home with you.... hopefully the dogs don't tear any more wood trim off the barn door trying to get outside while we are gone on our overnight trip or the fur will fly.
October 25, 2010
Yesterday was just one of those days, you know the ones...where,upon waking you make some general plans for the day and before you even are out of bed life is throwing monkey wrenches to them...."The best laid plans of mice and men......."
I had decided that after catching up on bit of light housekeeping and getting a hearty dinner in the oven, I would pull out the old easel and get back to my half finished painting that was abandoned in early June for farm work. But alas it was not to be...as the phone rang (a rare occurrence other than telemarketers) and the son of our friends wanted to come and get some grain for his chickens. That, along with a late rising took up most of the morning...at noon, we got another call from my long time and very dear friends Clarence and Phyllis, they wanted to come for a visit. So we accepted....the hearty meal I had made got put on the back burner and we just had a sandwich for lunch...we had a lovely visit with them, getting caught up on all their family news and vice a versa...they stayed for supper and I served my smothered chicken casserole...they left around 7 pm....and surprisingly our other friends from town drove in as they were leaving...they had brought a turkey carcass for the dogs and a box of fresh carrots for us...since the fox had dug and eaten the rest of mine in the garden...
They stayed for a couple of hours and I am afraid I was poor company since I was so tired that I had trouble keeping my eyes open... but that is the way things happen here, nearly always....we don't see anyone for days on end sometimes even weeks and then whamo...everybody in the same day...hahahaha
It was snowing lightly by the time our last company left...last night...and when we awoke this morning there was over 6 inches of wet heavy snow on the ground...oddly enough just two days before it had been +14 and sunny and windy... I hope this melts and we have a wee bit more nice weather before winter socks in to stay, since I still have a couple of more projects to complete before then.... I spent this afternoon on the Internet researching the things I couldn't do when I had no connection. R is busy trying to haul the straw bales home so that the manure guys can come and clean the corrals and have somewhere to spread the manure... still busy...then...as always.
hope you are all doing okay...no one ever emails anymore so I just assume you are doing well....
I had decided that after catching up on bit of light housekeeping and getting a hearty dinner in the oven, I would pull out the old easel and get back to my half finished painting that was abandoned in early June for farm work. But alas it was not to be...as the phone rang (a rare occurrence other than telemarketers) and the son of our friends wanted to come and get some grain for his chickens. That, along with a late rising took up most of the morning...at noon, we got another call from my long time and very dear friends Clarence and Phyllis, they wanted to come for a visit. So we accepted....the hearty meal I had made got put on the back burner and we just had a sandwich for lunch...we had a lovely visit with them, getting caught up on all their family news and vice a versa...they stayed for supper and I served my smothered chicken casserole...they left around 7 pm....and surprisingly our other friends from town drove in as they were leaving...they had brought a turkey carcass for the dogs and a box of fresh carrots for us...since the fox had dug and eaten the rest of mine in the garden...
They stayed for a couple of hours and I am afraid I was poor company since I was so tired that I had trouble keeping my eyes open... but that is the way things happen here, nearly always....we don't see anyone for days on end sometimes even weeks and then whamo...everybody in the same day...hahahaha
It was snowing lightly by the time our last company left...last night...and when we awoke this morning there was over 6 inches of wet heavy snow on the ground...oddly enough just two days before it had been +14 and sunny and windy... I hope this melts and we have a wee bit more nice weather before winter socks in to stay, since I still have a couple of more projects to complete before then.... I spent this afternoon on the Internet researching the things I couldn't do when I had no connection. R is busy trying to haul the straw bales home so that the manure guys can come and clean the corrals and have somewhere to spread the manure... still busy...then...as always.
hope you are all doing okay...no one ever emails anymore so I just assume you are doing well....
October 24, 2010
Shingles, but NOT Shingles
I was layed low last week with shingles....It all started on Monday Oct 11, the left side of my head felt really sore, like I had banged it on something...by tuesday morn, it was horribly sore..and sensitive to the lightest touch...even down the back side of my neck. By Wednesday, I couldn't move my head and it had sprouted huge, goose egg sized bumps all over the left side.. my head was visibly misshapen. While all of this was going on..we were desperately trying to get our crop off ....we had left the swathing (my job) until we were ready to combine because of the inclement weather...so when R's friend finally got the combine going again it was necessary for me to swath the grain...nearly 200 acres. I drowned my self in tylenol, grit my teeth and went to work...All day tuesday, all day wednesday.... thursday morning saw my head on fire, pain like you have never felt before...the bumps and now fluid filled blisters everywhere...down the left side of my face, jaw and neck as well as all over the left side of my head...and new bumps on the back of my head...so I was sleep deprived...with only one side of my head that I could actually lay on the pillow...and a spasming neck, I was in a living hell.....
I had an appointment in the city with my Rheumatologist and during that appointment she asked if I had any new pain to tell her about, I said my head, she looked...said it was probably shingles and sent me for an emergency dermatology appointment...so we didn't make it home that day to combine like we had planned...we spent it in waiting rooms...the dermatologist examined my head said it was shingles...gouged a hole in my head to take a biopsy of one of the blisters...and gave me a prescription for anti-virals...said to take tylenol for the pain...but I had been all along and it was not effective...It took several more days of pain and blisters before I began seeing an improvement... and one week after seeing the dermatologist Ihad an appointment with my family doctor...he had the results of the biopsy that the derm. had sent to him and the test for shingles was NEGATIVE..... my doctor did not seem too concerned...he said that my immune system was so screwed up that I reacted different to things that anyone else he knew....but if the anti viral worked it must have been shingles....
I am still confused about that one.... the left side of my head is still very tender...and aches a bit...but the bumps are almost gone and the blisters have cleared up...I never want to have those again...but apparently because of my suppressed immune system...they could...come back, that is.
The good news is that I was back to work swathing on Friday...then Sat, Sun and Monday I spent baling the straw after the combine...and we got the crop off...I have been wiped ever since...a result of pushing myself so hard...
The past couple of days have been spent helping R haul the bales home and move the cows onto some hay fields...today is a day off for me...after I make lunch that is..and do laundry and vacuum...hahahahahaha I get to start preparing for my nieces visit in November... I am so excited...family rarely ever visits...so I am stoked...got a lot of visiting to cram into 4 days....so I want to have most of the stuff prepared before hand...more time to visit that way .... heheheheheheeeeeeeeee excited....!!!!!
I had an appointment in the city with my Rheumatologist and during that appointment she asked if I had any new pain to tell her about, I said my head, she looked...said it was probably shingles and sent me for an emergency dermatology appointment...so we didn't make it home that day to combine like we had planned...we spent it in waiting rooms...the dermatologist examined my head said it was shingles...gouged a hole in my head to take a biopsy of one of the blisters...and gave me a prescription for anti-virals...said to take tylenol for the pain...but I had been all along and it was not effective...It took several more days of pain and blisters before I began seeing an improvement... and one week after seeing the dermatologist Ihad an appointment with my family doctor...he had the results of the biopsy that the derm. had sent to him and the test for shingles was NEGATIVE..... my doctor did not seem too concerned...he said that my immune system was so screwed up that I reacted different to things that anyone else he knew....but if the anti viral worked it must have been shingles....
I am still confused about that one.... the left side of my head is still very tender...and aches a bit...but the bumps are almost gone and the blisters have cleared up...I never want to have those again...but apparently because of my suppressed immune system...they could...come back, that is.
The good news is that I was back to work swathing on Friday...then Sat, Sun and Monday I spent baling the straw after the combine...and we got the crop off...I have been wiped ever since...a result of pushing myself so hard...
The past couple of days have been spent helping R haul the bales home and move the cows onto some hay fields...today is a day off for me...after I make lunch that is..and do laundry and vacuum...hahahahahaha I get to start preparing for my nieces visit in November... I am so excited...family rarely ever visits...so I am stoked...got a lot of visiting to cram into 4 days....so I want to have most of the stuff prepared before hand...more time to visit that way .... heheheheheheeeeeeeeee excited....!!!!!
October 21, 2010
tEsTiNG TESTING 1 2 3...
Geez does this thing even still work.... Well, what a gluttonous glob of bull dung that all was... I am not even making sense because I haven't processed it all yet myself...but be assured that over the next few days I hope to articulate just what the hell has been going on here... Shit, I feel like the survivor of a nuclear holocaust...no really... my head is still spinning. Okay, it seems like a shit load of crap happened to me but I am sure you will all find it just ho-hum... what ever....that's my new attitude.... I am going to mirror what people project to me... I am a mirror....you give me shit, I show you shit right back...you give me happy, I am all about the happy....hahahaha get it....
I will summarize my past few weeks....
cattle weaned
calves and cows sold
worked like a maniac with a severely sore ankle (when I should have been in bed)
hurt the other foot and didn't walk for nearly a week
Lost the use of the internet for nearly 10 days (thanks Telus)
Had tons of important stuff to do on the net prior to machinery sale (thanks again Telus)
Had five calls to Telus about the connection before someone finally gave me a solution
Spent dozens of hours researching a tractor only to finally watch R just sit back and let it be sold without even placing a bid...there's 20 hours of my life I'll never get back...
Oh, ya lets not forget the tumors on my head that gave me excruciating pain for over a week, to the point where I was nonsensical...
Anti Viral meds that made me puke my gut out three times a day for the past ten days
All this while forced to swath 200 acres of grain and bale 400 round bales of straw...all by myself...
GOD IS TESTING ME.....
more to follow... I am exhausted and must go to bed...but now that I have internet again... you will here all about it. just be patient...I have to work my way through it...
I will summarize my past few weeks....
cattle weaned
calves and cows sold
worked like a maniac with a severely sore ankle (when I should have been in bed)
hurt the other foot and didn't walk for nearly a week
Lost the use of the internet for nearly 10 days (thanks Telus)
Had tons of important stuff to do on the net prior to machinery sale (thanks again Telus)
Had five calls to Telus about the connection before someone finally gave me a solution
Spent dozens of hours researching a tractor only to finally watch R just sit back and let it be sold without even placing a bid...there's 20 hours of my life I'll never get back...
Oh, ya lets not forget the tumors on my head that gave me excruciating pain for over a week, to the point where I was nonsensical...
Anti Viral meds that made me puke my gut out three times a day for the past ten days
All this while forced to swath 200 acres of grain and bale 400 round bales of straw...all by myself...
GOD IS TESTING ME.....
more to follow... I am exhausted and must go to bed...but now that I have internet again... you will here all about it. just be patient...I have to work my way through it...
October 9, 2010
Groan-niiinnnggg
Cough, cough....ouch ouch....owwwwwwwww... It would be a very short list of things that don't hurt today... I am not sure why either...as yesterday was a pretty easy day...sat around waiting for R to be ready to go to town then sat in the truck while we were in town...and then went outside in the early evening to spread some more mulch..and then sat around some more watching tv....oh the life...actually I hate days like that. keep me busy, that's what I like the best.
Well the calves sold for a pretty decent price...and so did the cows...all in all we came home with a pretty nice cheque...and then we went to town and the bank swallowed it all...but the good news is all next years payments are made. yipheeeee... we get to farm for another year....hahahahaha
I shouldn't bitch too much, because the farm does provide us with a living...and a not to shabby one either but it is the cost that gets to me...it is like making a deal with the devil (not that I have ever done that personally) you know, you get to keep farming but it costs you your soul... and your first born child and right arm and your sanity...a small price to pay for the good life...right ?
We ended up having a bit of money left over and our banker asked innocently if perhaps we would be taking a holiday.....I stared at her for about a minute and then I burst out laughing....R was appalled...but I had tears streaming down my face and had to excuse myself from her office....while I was gone R explained that we have no one to keep an eye on things if we were to think about going on a trip...but you know what I have come to conclude..is that that is just an excuse...an excuse to not ever bother...he likes being here everyday...puttering...that's what he does...putters...little bit of this gets done, little bit of that....so we have dozens of jobs half done and nothing ever completed....hahahahah HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY... I thought I could put up with it...but it's been 17 years now and I HATE IT........
Thanksgiving....hmmmmm I am not doing it this year...we have been invited to our friends who were nice enough to include us in their family plans....the same people for whom I threw the anniversary party. Yes...we have become that sad childless couple who have no where to go for holidays and everyone feels sorry for...well not everyone, we did only receive one invite....hahahahha I don't know what we will do for Xmas...since they are going to vegas....alas...we will have to cook our own turkey...
I thought about inviting my son but he has never shown up in the past when invited...the last time he did (5 yrs ago) they came 10 minutes before the dinner was served...they were fighting....they ate and then as soon as the pie was finished...they left. No visit, no board games, nothing....R would rather not have them and I feel somewhat the same way...better to be by ourselves that with negativity... So I will put up our tree and the outside lights to cheer us up and cook our bird...perhaps our bachelor JW Friend will eat with us, although the JW's do not celebrate Xmas...but maybe since we don't actually do any celebrating he may come....hahahaha hopefully he has a shower this time...those old bachelor's can get a little crusty in the winter when the water lines in their trailer freeze up....hahahahhaha
I am having quite a problem getting around today...yesterday when I was outside in the garden I crouched down on the balls of my feet... and today my right foot is swollen and sore at the joint where my big toe meets my foot...it is so sore and stiff I can't bend it...and any pressure on it is excruciating...and then my left ankle is still very sore...and causes me to limp...so when I do walk today I am crouched over like an old hag...and teetering from one foot to the next....good grief....just shoot me now...if you had a dog in this bad a shape you would have had it put down....
This cursed arthritis is horrible... I'm done....
Well the calves sold for a pretty decent price...and so did the cows...all in all we came home with a pretty nice cheque...and then we went to town and the bank swallowed it all...but the good news is all next years payments are made. yipheeeee... we get to farm for another year....hahahahaha
I shouldn't bitch too much, because the farm does provide us with a living...and a not to shabby one either but it is the cost that gets to me...it is like making a deal with the devil (not that I have ever done that personally) you know, you get to keep farming but it costs you your soul... and your first born child and right arm and your sanity...a small price to pay for the good life...right ?
We ended up having a bit of money left over and our banker asked innocently if perhaps we would be taking a holiday.....I stared at her for about a minute and then I burst out laughing....R was appalled...but I had tears streaming down my face and had to excuse myself from her office....while I was gone R explained that we have no one to keep an eye on things if we were to think about going on a trip...but you know what I have come to conclude..is that that is just an excuse...an excuse to not ever bother...he likes being here everyday...puttering...that's what he does...putters...little bit of this gets done, little bit of that....so we have dozens of jobs half done and nothing ever completed....hahahahah HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY... I thought I could put up with it...but it's been 17 years now and I HATE IT........
Thanksgiving....hmmmmm I am not doing it this year...we have been invited to our friends who were nice enough to include us in their family plans....the same people for whom I threw the anniversary party. Yes...we have become that sad childless couple who have no where to go for holidays and everyone feels sorry for...well not everyone, we did only receive one invite....hahahahha I don't know what we will do for Xmas...since they are going to vegas....alas...we will have to cook our own turkey...
I thought about inviting my son but he has never shown up in the past when invited...the last time he did (5 yrs ago) they came 10 minutes before the dinner was served...they were fighting....they ate and then as soon as the pie was finished...they left. No visit, no board games, nothing....R would rather not have them and I feel somewhat the same way...better to be by ourselves that with negativity... So I will put up our tree and the outside lights to cheer us up and cook our bird...perhaps our bachelor JW Friend will eat with us, although the JW's do not celebrate Xmas...but maybe since we don't actually do any celebrating he may come....hahahaha hopefully he has a shower this time...those old bachelor's can get a little crusty in the winter when the water lines in their trailer freeze up....hahahahhaha
I am having quite a problem getting around today...yesterday when I was outside in the garden I crouched down on the balls of my feet... and today my right foot is swollen and sore at the joint where my big toe meets my foot...it is so sore and stiff I can't bend it...and any pressure on it is excruciating...and then my left ankle is still very sore...and causes me to limp...so when I do walk today I am crouched over like an old hag...and teetering from one foot to the next....good grief....just shoot me now...if you had a dog in this bad a shape you would have had it put down....
This cursed arthritis is horrible... I'm done....
October 5, 2010
Owwwwww
Well, early this morning R and I headed out to the corrals to sort the calves...at 10 am two semi trucks with cattle liners pulled into the yard and one backed up to the loading chute....the nicely rebuilt loading chute....hahahaha the driver even commented on it....
Our neighbour is one of the drivers of the first truck and his boss and the owner of the trucks was driving the other...along with his wife...who used to be my old neighbour when I lived closer to Barrhead..., her first husband died too and she remarried...ironically she ended up being my neighbour once again....
Anyway we started loading the steers first....and then the heifer calves....that truck full we backed the second one up and put a few more steers on it and then all the cows that we had decided to cull, some open (not bred) and others just because of shitty calves or bad attitude...if you ask me it wasn't nearly enough of them... but there may yet be another cull....when we have a total tally on the feed for the winter... we refuse to buy feed so the cows get sold instead....
By 11 am they were on their way to the auction mart...Tomorrow we will rise early and make the three hour drive down to the auction and watch them sell, and pick up the cheque at the end of the day... I am hoping they sell well so we can make all the payments...
I pack a lunch when we go to the auction....the burgers and stuff are horribly expensive there and not to tasty...we take egg salad sandwiches and carrot and celery sticks...with water and a couple of cookies with apple wedges....then we head up to the city and do a bit of grocery shopping and hit the Chinese food place...and home....
so wish us luck...the more money per pound the better...
Friends have taken pity on us and invited us to spend thanksgiving with them and their family...we have been there before...and that is always very nice of them... usually we go for Christmas too but this year, since their son's marriage has ended this fall they are taking him to Vegas for Christmas...7 days ....they are going to take the helicopter ride down and through the grand canyon... I've always wanted to do that....R did it years ago when he was young...with friends....in a small plane.... Me, I haven't been anywhere or done anything....just work work work...I guess that's all I'm good for and not even that anymore....
today loading the cattle R kept telling me to wait until he got there to close the gate....but the cattle would always turn back by the time he got there and then we had trouble getting them to head up the chute again...so finally after about the 8th time...I just turned around and told him...." IF YOU DON'T WANT ME OUT HERE RUNNING AFTER CATTLE, YOU BETTER SELL THEM ALL, BECAUSE AS LONG AS WE HAVE THEM AND YOU NEED HELP I WILL HAVE TO BE OUT HERE DOING THIS SHIT...." but ask me if I think it helped...., did the message get through....he just looked pissed...and then shut up...so I guess that tells me what he thinks.... he loves me but he loves the farm more....I know, I know....it's more complicated than that...he worries how we would make a living...would I be any happier.... but I can't help but take it a bit personally...after all I wonder how long we would be farmer if he had been the one to be diagnosed with a debilitating disease...and his bones were crumbling away from under him.... I always tell him, " MAKEPEACE, IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENS TO YOU AND YOU CAN'T DO YOUR FARM WORK...WE ARE HOOPED...CAUSE YOU'VE GOT IT SET UP SO SCREWY...THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT FOR YOU." and we don't have any friends that are capable either...they are all a fair bit older than us or have never done farm work before... screwed I tell you, screwed...hahahahahaa
Well anyway I had better quit blogging and go make the lunch for tomorrow...we have to leave pretty early...
Oh ya, the diabetic day in the city yesterday was informative but in a very general way...but oh my god the one thing we both took home from the whole thing was the sorest asses we have ever had....hahahhahaha it was in the auditorium of the Misericordia Hospital....and the amphitheatre type seats were so old and uncomfortable.that we could barely hear the speaker for people shifting in their seats and the squeaky noise was drowning her out....hahahaha as soon as there were breaks people lept out of their seats...ahahahah I finally gave in and moved to stand against the wall and ate my lunch....it was hell...didn't get what I really wanted from the class but it was a start....now I will look into a better one...preferably at a different site...hahahahhaha I bet they have really short staff meetings there....
I made my ankle so sore today that I will have to figure out how to wear my ankle brace again and still wear my town shoes....rather than the shitting farm ones...hahahhaha okay for the auction but not so cool for costco....hahahahah
Our neighbour is one of the drivers of the first truck and his boss and the owner of the trucks was driving the other...along with his wife...who used to be my old neighbour when I lived closer to Barrhead..., her first husband died too and she remarried...ironically she ended up being my neighbour once again....
Anyway we started loading the steers first....and then the heifer calves....that truck full we backed the second one up and put a few more steers on it and then all the cows that we had decided to cull, some open (not bred) and others just because of shitty calves or bad attitude...if you ask me it wasn't nearly enough of them... but there may yet be another cull....when we have a total tally on the feed for the winter... we refuse to buy feed so the cows get sold instead....
By 11 am they were on their way to the auction mart...Tomorrow we will rise early and make the three hour drive down to the auction and watch them sell, and pick up the cheque at the end of the day... I am hoping they sell well so we can make all the payments...
I pack a lunch when we go to the auction....the burgers and stuff are horribly expensive there and not to tasty...we take egg salad sandwiches and carrot and celery sticks...with water and a couple of cookies with apple wedges....then we head up to the city and do a bit of grocery shopping and hit the Chinese food place...and home....
so wish us luck...the more money per pound the better...
Friends have taken pity on us and invited us to spend thanksgiving with them and their family...we have been there before...and that is always very nice of them... usually we go for Christmas too but this year, since their son's marriage has ended this fall they are taking him to Vegas for Christmas...7 days ....they are going to take the helicopter ride down and through the grand canyon... I've always wanted to do that....R did it years ago when he was young...with friends....in a small plane.... Me, I haven't been anywhere or done anything....just work work work...I guess that's all I'm good for and not even that anymore....
today loading the cattle R kept telling me to wait until he got there to close the gate....but the cattle would always turn back by the time he got there and then we had trouble getting them to head up the chute again...so finally after about the 8th time...I just turned around and told him...." IF YOU DON'T WANT ME OUT HERE RUNNING AFTER CATTLE, YOU BETTER SELL THEM ALL, BECAUSE AS LONG AS WE HAVE THEM AND YOU NEED HELP I WILL HAVE TO BE OUT HERE DOING THIS SHIT...." but ask me if I think it helped...., did the message get through....he just looked pissed...and then shut up...so I guess that tells me what he thinks.... he loves me but he loves the farm more....I know, I know....it's more complicated than that...he worries how we would make a living...would I be any happier.... but I can't help but take it a bit personally...after all I wonder how long we would be farmer if he had been the one to be diagnosed with a debilitating disease...and his bones were crumbling away from under him.... I always tell him, " MAKEPEACE, IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENS TO YOU AND YOU CAN'T DO YOUR FARM WORK...WE ARE HOOPED...CAUSE YOU'VE GOT IT SET UP SO SCREWY...THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT FOR YOU." and we don't have any friends that are capable either...they are all a fair bit older than us or have never done farm work before... screwed I tell you, screwed...hahahahahaa
Well anyway I had better quit blogging and go make the lunch for tomorrow...we have to leave pretty early...
Oh ya, the diabetic day in the city yesterday was informative but in a very general way...but oh my god the one thing we both took home from the whole thing was the sorest asses we have ever had....hahahhahaha it was in the auditorium of the Misericordia Hospital....and the amphitheatre type seats were so old and uncomfortable.that we could barely hear the speaker for people shifting in their seats and the squeaky noise was drowning her out....hahahaha as soon as there were breaks people lept out of their seats...ahahahah I finally gave in and moved to stand against the wall and ate my lunch....it was hell...didn't get what I really wanted from the class but it was a start....now I will look into a better one...preferably at a different site...hahahahhaha I bet they have really short staff meetings there....
I made my ankle so sore today that I will have to figure out how to wear my ankle brace again and still wear my town shoes....rather than the shitting farm ones...hahahhaha okay for the auction but not so cool for costco....hahahahah
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