Apologies

I know I have no business blogging when I am in such a foul mood....so I apologize for my bad language at least.

Things are imploding here, it seems, each day brings something else crashing down around us.

I am, of course, totally over reacting. Blowing things out of proportion, like people who can't handle stress, tend to do...

But from where I stand, this shit seems serious enough to me...and I am sorry, but for privacy sake I can not divulge the worst of it. But I can tell you this;

The farm is about a month and a half behind thanks to our long lingering winter season...the snow is all gone now, the pot holes are full of water and the leaf buds are swollen and on the verge of bursting forth the fresh young greenness of spring leaves. My lawn needs to be mowed and I have no ambition.

For those of you who have often thought that my yard is way to elaborate, I give you permission to now, collectively, to say " I TOLD YOU SO",  I am struggling this year to get all the spring yard work done. Actually I don't really want to do it...but after an intense 40 minutes on the treadmill and 60 sit ups I force my tortured, aching body out side to get even one thing accomplished for the day. Robert says I am pushing my self too hard. I know I am, but am determined to carry on like there was nothing the matter with me, since that is what they say at this point... I have a big doctors appointment at the end of the month...but I am not holding much hope that anything will be resolved...so it's just me, still in limbo....no body doing a think because they don't know what to do....still hobbling around on my screwed up ankle. fine on level ground with good shoes on but on uneven ground my ankle wants to turn outwards, badly, which is very painful.

Anyway, the most upsetting thing happened the other day, a phone call, that in the matter of a few minutes, sent my heart racing and my mind spinning. I can't tell you what it was, but even though rationally I have nothing to worry about, there is still that feeling of panic...kinda like when the cops pull you over even though you know you weren't doing anything wrong...that feeling....so we shall see where it all leads...since I have four weeks to stew about it before the crunch.hahahaha sounds cryptic doesn't it... well let's just say it is something all of us would dread happening, and leave it at that.


In my son's defense...I did receive a Mothers Day card today...in the mail...and a birthday card a few weeks early...both of them just signed, no message...but since he only lives a half hour away it is still a bit hurt full that that is the best he can do...well, there is nobody to blame but myself and his father since we raised him...by the way, his father was just as lame about birthdays, mothers day and Christmas as he is...at least about the gift and appreciation part, the partying part, well, it never took much of a holiday as an excuse to throw a party in which I cooked and he drank....

Things in the greenhouse are growing nicely, my tomato plants are about six inches now with lots of dark green branches on them and the cabbage plants are up and growing...my flowers are doing great..I planted a lot of them in the big planters I moved in there with the furniture mover...and they are blowing and cascading over the edge of the pots already..I am loath to put them outside where the ferocious wind and hail and other weather related tests will try their best to destroy them... Most of my shrubs and perennials have survived the winter, that is one good thing about five feet of snow...it is great ground cover and things are protected from the -40 temps by the snow...so everything should bloom this spring...even the bulbs I  reluctantly planted last fall are coming up so na,na,na, na-na to you to squirrel...I outsmarted you this time...usually the beggars dig up the bulbs and eat them...so I grew daffodils (which are poisonous, the bulbs ) and paper whites and other stuff...and the beggar didn't dig them up, maybe the cedar mulch I layed in the beds helped confuse him...he couldn't smell them...although I did consider planting them in the dead of night with only a flashlight to light my way so that the squirrel didn't see where I was planting them.

I hadn't grown bulbs for quite a few years..but Robert talked me into trying again. and I agreed only under the condition that it be narcissus and daffodils and such...that I knew they wouldn't eat. Tulips were out of the equation... as were gladiolas since our yard is way to windy for tall flowers...they always break off in the bad winds and makes me sad... 

When we go to a nursery or greenhouse to buy shrubs and perennials...I am usually asked what I already grow and that does well, and my reply is always the same...zone 2 or less...is all that will grow in our yard... so that's Siberia and the Arctic...hahahahhaha    But that offers a surprising number of shrubs,
Cranberry, Dogwood, Junipers, evergreens, Spireas and more .

So my yard is slowly morphing into a low maintenance one, the shrub beds already are 8 inches deep in cedar mulch, which will cut down on the need to weed. Most are planted with trouble free shrubs and perennials that need little work, the new beds will become that way over the next couple of years...some of the old trashy arbours are being disassembled and the timbers used for other projects..even the big one lining the front sidewalk has turned out to be a disappointment to us and will be coming down this spring and moved to some remote corner of the yard...  I have become completely disgusted with solar lighting...you pay an arm and a leg for the damned things and they never last long or don't work at all...I found five out of a set of eight I bought last spring, broken this spring when the snow melted...I suspect Roberts somewhat vigorous snow shovelling to be the cause but am not about to complain since that is the first snow he has shovelled in years, but apparently the plastic shaft the lights sat on is not that durable at -30 temps.. hahahaha

I am probably going to jinx myself by saying this out loud...but so far we haven't heard our little toad friend in the pond this spring...all the other frogs in the sloughs and ditches are croaking like mad....I am hoping he shows up...
Oh I know, I complain about the serenading all through the night right outside my bedroom window...but the slug control alone makes it all worth while...

Well, I should mosey along and get my spaghetti sauce started...spaghetti, salad and garlic bread sticks for supper tonight.  Robert had started working in the field now so is not often in the house long..so I have to have it ready when he comes in or he leaves again, and your guess is as good as mine as to when he will be back...even dark isn't a guarantee of his coming in...he plowed until midnight yesterday...

Lots of Birthdays this month in the family....Maggie, today, Sue tomorrow Mine and Bob's at the end of the month and then Fern's and Kim's in early June.  Happy Birthday to all of us...