Oh, the Indignity

I have been working feverishly to get my projects done, with some success I must say. My Hydrant shed is complete except for the metal roofing which on order. Yesterday I painted my fake windows...another coat tomorrow and they should be complete as well, ready to be hung. The lawn growth has slowed a bit , giving me time to breath between mowing. I hoed the garden two days ago and need to go over it again to get control of the blasted chickweed. It is rampant this summer with all the rain. It is Roberts job to hill the potatoes but I will run the small cultivator up and down the rows to loosen the soil and make it easier for him..

I am in a bit of a fix, medically wise.. I went for blood tests last week and my specialist in the city phoned and left a message about the results...normally it should be the family doctor that does that but mine is semi-retired and only in the clinic 1 day per month...so the specialist is aghast at some of the numbers on these tests and after explaining how bad they are, tells me to see my family doctor and get these issues resolved....uhhhhhh there in lies the problem, I phone immediately after getting that message and the soonest I can see my Doctor is September 17.  So I decided I need to change doctors, to one that isn't retired...I ask for an appointment two different doctors...with much the same results...Jly 29th was one opening or Aug 22 for the other...the earlier appointment was with a doctor new to Canada from south Africa, and is very hard to understand or he was the last time I was forced to see him, perhaps his accent has diminished since then....and the august appointment is with a lady doctor that I swore I would sooner gouged my eyes out with a tea spoon than ever go to again.... SO ya, spoiled for choice aren't I...

I would just ignore all the problems but two of them are or could become serious issues..and I, contrary to what I may bluster on about, am not ready to die or spend what's left of my life hooked up to a machine...

My thyroid is totally dead it would appear, the numbers so badly out of whack in spite my gargantuan dose of thyroid med....Robert wants me to see a thyroid specialist. At this point, what the hell, why not.

My blood sugar is just berserk...I have had two low blood sugar episodes in June alone...and numerous spikes where it is through the roof ...okay, I admit to not being religious about what I eat...but we don't eat crap, I take my meds. and get lots of outside activity...but where I struggle is to match the food intake to my activity level....when I eat smaller meals and go outside...I tend to be out longer than I should and work to hard....I start getting confused...my hands might get shaky and if I am stubborn and don't go in right that moment..my knees get weak and I get dizzy... when I do go in and test my blood it has been as low as 2.4   but I start to feel weird at about 4.0... 
I suspect the gliclicide they have me on is responsible...and that I should be taking more than just that...Metformin nearly killed me when I took it, I had such a bad reaction but they must have a different drug that performs the same task....So I need to have a serious sit down and hash it out talk with my doctor and I think be referred to a diabetic specialist... I know that most of the responsibility falls on me to do what I need to....and I am struggling with making the changes to my lifestyle...like carrying a grocery store on my back..so that I am never far away from food...but I have been conditioned to thinking that eating that much food is what made me so fat...that I have a hard time with the whole snacking thing...and then there is the working thing...the work I do is very physically demanding....carrying, pushing, hammering, bending, lots of walking , so that the bowl of cereal I had for breakfast doesn't last that long...and then the next day...I might sit in the tractor all day and the most strenuous thing I do is climbing in the tractor...but on the days when I am active...Once I get started doing the work...I am reluctant to stop and go to the house for a snack....and once I have low blood sugar, and I have to eat, I have a hard time to feel satisfied..and I tend to over eat...which makes the blood sugar go through the roof...it is a roller coaster.

On different note, our friends Barb and Norm have moved away, they sold their farm and moved to Airdrie....closer to Calgary...to a mid unit Town house...BOY !!!! what a dramatic change... I know I would never make that kind of change in my life... I am all for selling the farm but I would prefer to move to an acreage closer to the city...so there is less driving time to get anywhere but still maintain some of our privacy and space...a yard to tinker in. Robert and I have plans for retirement that include, landscaping, and beautification of our large yard, walking trails through our property, a bit of travel if the budget allows, but a whole lot more free time to visit family.
He talks about it a bit now, like it is actually going to happen, he even puts a time frame on it...with in seven to ten years...and that is without me begging...I can see changes in him the past year, he is feeling a bit older...not as unflaggingly energetic...like he used to be...the winter bothers him the most.. The cold, since he is outside for 12hours a day, and the muck and mud in the spring.. carrying hundreds of pails of grain this spring just plain wore him out.  He takes pain killers a lot more than he used to ...for his hip and back...

Well we will get to use our new tractor for a few years before we sell out...it should maintain a good resale value, being a John Deere...hahahahaha at least we hope so.

I just have to go off into a bit of a rant here for one second....how in the hell, when we have had 6 inches of rain in the month of June, can we have a grasshopper problem...I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is no GOD. I thought grasshoppers were only an issue when it was dry...but apparently NOT. because we have grasshoppers, thousands and thousands of the little creepy bastards in our hay fields and crop...just Jim fucking dandy.

I have a sore butt today....yesterday when I was in the barn with the big doors jammed open, painting my fake windows...the mosquito's were swarming me and I could hardly stand still they were biting me through my pants...which were over 12 years old and the material is paper thin...which is why I like them on a hot day, they are cool....but no protection from blood thirsty insects...so I rushed to the office part of the barn and grabbed a nearly empty can of bug repellent from by the door...It wasn't OFF or Muskol....it was some product called REPEL, our ex-friend Rick must have left here once...so I spray my legs and butt and shoulders with it...barely enough in the can to do the job...went back to painting and not even 15 minutes later my butt is on fire...so much so I can barely stand it...the other places I sprayed it, the material of my pants and shirt were thick enough that it didn't make contact with my skin...but on my butt, where the material is super thin from wear....I got a rash....and blisters...yup....super....  I endured until I finished my paint job but my ass was so inflamed by then I had to nearly crawl to the house...it was the longest 100 yards of my life it seemed....walking carefully with baby steps, so as not to pull the skin of my buttocks at all.... I hit the shower the moment I was inside...which burned like a son of a bitch...and left me gasping against the wall of the shower....but after it brought some small relief... I put on a sun dress. The most humiliating part came when I had to ask Robert to take a look and treat it with polysporin...I couldn't stay still...it stung and tickled all at the same time... Oh My God, how the hell does shit like this happen to me....
Robert went to the barn and got the can...read the label...it says can cause severe skin irritation in rare cases.....hahahahhahahahahahah   figures...  I would have been slightly happier if it had reacted to the skin on my leg rather than my butt. since it makes sitting an agony...and I am currently typing this post, standing  up...hahahahahah