Never Say Never

A gentle word of advice from a long in the tooth student of human nature.
Never say never, you are just setting yourself up for crow eating.

A few years ago, after several years of drought and near drought conditions Robert and I both vowed that we would never complain about getting too much rain again in our lives.

After 5 1/2 inches of rain in the month of June alone we are sitting down to a fine meal of crow and complaining about the bloody rain.. There is water sitting in every field, the dug outs have spilled thier banks, the creek is running high, I have mushrooms growing all over my lawn and things in the garden are turning yellow from too much moisture and a lack of sun. Just last night while towelling off after a soothing soak, I swore I felt the beginnings of web between my toes for Christ's sake.

Robert is in a foul mood, being behind in your work by a month or two would do that to anyone.

I have to mow the grass every three days so that it doesn't get too long and clog up the mower discharge. MY main concern is that is smarten up for July so that we can get some haying done..especially now that we have put our selves into the poor house buying a new tractor and discbine.

That's right,  you read it here first folks. Cathy and Robert actually bought a BRAND SPANKING NEW piece of farm equipment instead of farm sale cast offs.  and not just one new piece but TWO...pieces of new equipment.
It was a very traumatic experience for us both...having never done it before...Robert had to throw a hissy fit with the bank to get the terms we wanted...and to spare the boring details...we are now in hock with the bank for the next ten years...Life as we previously knew it has ceased to exist...we are paupers now...having to scrape every dime to make next years payments...But to quote Robert..." it was either we do something drastic, like buy a new tractor or we get out of farming"...... All our tractors are at least 30 years old or older and on their last legs...Robert is not mechanical enough to fix them on his own he says...but I think he has done an awesome job keeping them going this long...

Anyway its done and all that's left is the paying....we get the disbine next week along with a loaned tractor since our new one won't come until the end of July....

The whole ordeal turned into quite a pissing match between the two sales men...John Deere and Case IH dealers.   It is amazing the mark up they have on that equipment and the gobs of money they can knock off when they want to.  The cost of our tractor went from $ 140,000.oo  to in the end$ 112,000.oo and I bet they still made buckets of money on the tractor.

So in a month they will deliver our new tractor and a guy to spend the day with us and show us all the computer stuff...and how to run it.  It was funny but after we signed the deal and headed into the city for groceries...rather be ecstatically happy we were both nearly barfing out the windows...
that works out to a shit load of money.

112,000.oo  for the tractor
  16,000.oo  for the loader for the tractor
  29,000.oo for the discbine
__________
157,000.oo   quite the sticker shock for two old farmers who have never bought new stuff.  It was a very steep learning curve. Very steep.

Gone on Holidays, NOT

Hahahaha It's been so long since I wrote a posting, Blogger wanted my password...

things have been a bit crazy here, my hose shed is nearly complete, as is my fake window project, in between mowing the lawn every three days. Robert is miffed because it has been raining all week and he is going to miss the cut off deadline for having all the crop seeded in able to insure it...oh well...if it grows good we wouldn't have got any pay out anyway...

The Rev. Can audit thing is in mid swing...they came on monday to take ALL my paper work and will, I hope, return in late this week.  Then it's all over but the crying and begging...it could take a month to find out just how much of that we will have to do. so we wait...and wait... (insert elevator music here)

In the mean time...while I am trying to answer her multitude of questions without my books to consult, need I remind you, Robert decides to drop a bombshell in my lap....no he doesn't want a divorce, but I could hardly blame him if he did with the mood I have been in lately, but he does want to buy a tractor...TOMORROW..... now we are talking about not a 5,000 dollar lawn mower but a full blown farm tractor with all the bells and whistles...to the tune of $100,000. or more....that's right....so I have been a little stressed...and short of patience...I have even developed that annoying twitch below my left eye, I haven't been plagued with that since my son lived with us and was stealing money and tools from us to support a drug habit...hahahah

Tomorrow is the big day...and I am trying very hard not to spazz out on him and go phsyco....where's the liguid benedryl, that stuff acts like a sedative on me...just stand me in the corner of the dealership and tuck a paper towel under my chin to catch the drool....

I will keep you posted how it goes...but if you receive an email with my name attached as a charity donation don't delete it....I may have to sell my body to science....of course if I drop dead of a stress related stroke, Roberts tractor would be paid for in full with our credit line insurance...hahahahaha he could farm in style completely debt free....with a younger healthier wife to help to boot....
Lucky him....

Zing... Didn't see this Coming

I named the kitten....he is sure to get run over by a car or abducted by an owl...now for sure..that's what always happens I name them, get invested and then Poof...gonzo... Trouble...that's what I named him...T R O U B L E

Here comes trouble... yah like that... he's still here though...so so much for that theory... damn....

Had a so so birthday, stayed home a worked for the most part and then around 6pm headed into the village to friends place for a light supper...it was good.
Tuesday was suppose to be the day we celebrated but R and I were both so tired that by the time we made it to the Doctors in the afternoon and did a costco shop we were beat..I stopped at home depot to grab some 2x4 and we went home...no special dinner out, no movie, no art museum...like I remember being promised....hmph....boy are we stuck in a rut....It's oddly, no big deal this year...I am getting to hate birthdays anyway...

The doctor was probably the problem...we were both so surprised when we walked out of there that I think we were in a bit of a daze the rest of the day. Mulling over what was said...

I am to go back on all my meds...until further notice...I am going for another MRI, a total body one this time..and I will have to ask for a sedative...cause there is no way I will be able to lay in that tube and not move for over an hour with out embarassing myself by begging to be let out...claustrophobia big time here baby...since a kid..foster care time out....hahahaha

Any way... not happy about going back on the meds but if it lessens the pain, well then, okay...I'll do it.  It is not good when upon waking you sit on t he side of the bed and take a deep breath, and brace yourself for the day...when all I want to do is stay in bed with the covers over my head.

I am building fake windows...I will distress them and sand some of the white paint away to make them look weathered...mullions and black plywood back...they don't look too bad so far...I am hanging them on the garage wall to break up the huge expanse of yellow siding...they should look not to bad...I mitred the corners and everything...

After that project is through I am building a small shed over my water hydrant to provide a place to hang my garden hoses other than laying them on the ground and have to move them everytime I mow....

So I am keeping busy... tomatoes going in the garden this weekend. and then the greenhouse will be empty...yahooo... shrubs are all doing great.

We lost a cow on pasture yesteray...she was, I noticed as I followed her up the road last week, moving very slowly, like she was ill...I told Robert and he chose to do nothing...she would either get better or die...well she died... Son of a Bitch... there goes another $1,000.  that is the second cow this spring that has died... we can go years without one dying and then bam...2 in one spring...
I think Robert is burned out....but he says his reasons for not retiring are financial...granted we aren't in the best of situations but it could be worse...

well my toasted sandwich is now cold...and cold drink is warm...so I am ending this for today.   Thanks for all the birthday wishes....and heads  up  Fern whose BD is tomorrow, and Kim the day after... all the best  you two.

Busy, Busy

Vaccinating baby calves before they are turned out to pasture with their mothers...but they are not so baby-ish any more..little fuckers...and I have the bruises to prove it, three to be precise.. 

I wonder why, as a person who has very obvious allergies to cattle dander, am still working up close and personal with CATTLE.  After just four hours in the barn walking the calves into the maternity pen and then catching them in the head gate and holding the syringes for Robert and then turning the calf loose again, I had a gravelly, scratchy throat all night, flemmy, itchy, puffy eyes...and this morning the eyes were so swollen I had trouble seeing...and t he throat is still flemmy and my voice is gravelly like a 70  yr old smokey bar maids.... and today is round 2 of vaccination day, yup, we are officially old people now, we have to do our herd in groups, as we don't have the energy or move fast enough anymore to manage the whole herd in one day like we used to do... so I will be in the barn again working a larger group of calves today.  But, when it is done, we will be able to move them all out to the pasture fields and I won't, if there is a GOD after all, have to see their ugly butts until fall. That gives me a couple of months holiday...before it all starts again...

As a Gemini, and an artsy kind of person, I am cursed with a huge imagination, and a some what limited ability to put what I imagine and dream up into a physical form.  Meaning, I think to bloody much and make more work for myself....I have all these great thoughts about projects I would like to do around the yard and then torture myself by not being able to do them.. I should just stop dreaming them up...but it would be easier to just stop breathing.

My latest project, which is in the planning stages still, is a small decorative shed built to look like a tall narrow victorian house, that will camouflage my water hydrant in the front yard...currently I have a bent willow fence there but it is getting ratty and rather than beautifiing the yard is detracting from it.  besides I am itching to build something. I have all the materials salvaged from other projects so it is just to make the time...but I have to prioritize...so it will have to wait until after the garden is seeded.

Robert worked the garden up for me the other day but it rained for two days afterwards and is still drizzling everyday since.  but soon...stuff in the greenhouse is growing crazily....and it is time to put it all outside...but I think it might freeze once the sky clears so I will wait. 

Less than a week to go to my big doc. appointment...the one in which I am going to grow a back bone and speak my mind....hahahaha we shall see.
wish me luck.

Bitter Sweet

I am sorry for the sporadic writing but spring is here and I once I go outside I have a hard time tearing myself away to come back inside.  I could be outside for all the hours it is light out, if I didn't get hungry.

I might have mentioned before that I am simplifying my landscaping, since I am not able to do the work anymore...ironically I am expending huge effort to do the very hard work of taking down arbours and pulling up posts, rolling boulders around and digging up dead trees and planting new ones. I have had to have some small amount of help from Robert but so far have done most of it myself...foolishly...

The day I planned to incorporate a half assed rose bed into an existing raised bed by pulling the half dead rose bushes out with a chain and my 4x4 ATV. I am still picking fine little thorns out of my left forearm.  hahaha some of them have festered.
Once I had the bushes out, the crappy arbour down and a huge chunk of rhubarb moved to another location I dug a trench, rolled some boulders into it and then mixed 3 bags of ready cement and with latex gloves on hand placed the somewhat dry cement mixture into the crevices...mortaring smaller rocks into the gaps...it turned out quite nice I must say and if I had a camera I could actually figure out, I would take a picture. For now you will just have to take my word for it.

I planted a golden dogwood, ground covering juniper and ringed the entire bed with miniature day lilies. It looks quite nice...of course that was just the first phase of that project because not two feet away is the rest of the bed which was originally a terraced bed with three levels. The old timbers we used to create the levels have rotted and a colony of red ants have moved in and make life a misery anytime I have to work down there...I am allergic to their bite and get a bad case of hives almost immediately upon being bitten. So I am determined to removed those rotten timbers, and hopefully the ants along with them. Destined to a far off brush pile where they can live in peace and so can I.  Black ants are one thing but red ants quite another, if you piss them off they bite back.

I had a bit of a break down yesterday afternoon, while I was raking up and shovelling back the dirt and mulch mixture the dogs so kindly kicked out across the sidewalk and lawn after they dug themselves a pair of nice cosy nests the night before smack in the middle of my newest bed by the front door. Robert called it a moment of senility on their part because they haven't done that sort of thing for years not since getting their ass kicked as pups for digging where they shouldn't.  Dirt was spewed every where, and when I saw it and gasped, turned slowly looking at them with accusing eyes..they both hung their heads in guilt. So they know, oh they know they did wrong. I didn't realize Robert was behind me, so I was muttering to myself and God in general, while I scraped the loamy black dirt off the sidewalk, that,  is it too much to ask, I said, that I could have just one thing in my life that's pretty and lovely.  I don't want expensive trips to Ireland, or jewellery or sports cars, I just want for once in my bloody life to plant something and have it actually grow to maturity without being burned by grass fires, sprayed with chemicals, eaten by bloody deer or dug up by god damned fat ass self gratifying dogs. I mean, honestly, it seems like I have spent my whole adult life planting things and digging them up because they either died, they were in the way of something to do with the farm, or his parents didn't like them there, or they got insects on them or the damned dogs dug them up and exposed the root all weekend while we were gone..etc...etc...etc...

I actually had that happen once about ten years ago...this house we are in now was just finished and I wanted to put my yard back together. Everything from the first house was planted about 50 feet in front of this one and down a hill. It all had to be moved up to where this house was and I wanted to have a bed in front of this house with a feature tree. I bought a very expensive red oak tree to be that feature tree and planted it with some lovely low growing shrubs around it. it looked quite lovely, and those of you who have seen my front yard are probably scratching your heads thinking you must be losing it, because you don't remember seeing a bed in front of the house...that's because it was only there for one year...

It turned out to be the dogs favorite place to lay, shaded in the hot afternoons, with a good view of the whole farm...a dogs dream...
We had a family party in the City at Roberts brothers house and were taking the parents with us...we left Saturday morning and were back Sunday night but it wasn't until early Monday morning while returning to bed after a trip to the Lou that I noticed the destruction. I actually had to take two steps back after passing by the bedroom window because I thought I was seeing things.

The small fence that had surrounded the bed was just a tangled wire mess off to the side of the crater, that's the best word to describe what was there in place of the dozen or so shrubs and my 150.oo Oak tree.  A huge hole was in the centre with  mounds of dirt strewn everywhere on the lawn, spirea, dogwood and hostas, lay with withered, moisture starved leafs wilted beyond rejuvenation. Some where totally above ground, sacrificed for the perfect spot to lay, others were half buried by the dirt but the root balls disturbed by the digging.  The Oak, oh my beautiful Oak tree, a tree I planted thinking that 100 years from now, who ever lived here would appreciate its regal beauty, lay like a leafless corpse out on the grass, with only a few clumps of determined dirt clinging to its many roots. Some of the few branches it had had been chewed off or broken when the dogs drug it out of their way. The leaves which had been just emerging were wilted.  We weren't sure how long the plants had layed exposed to the sun, but the dirt that had been disturbed was dry and we were never sure which dog was the culprit, since when we arrived home they both ran to greet us...but I have my suspicions and it has festered all these years...until yesterday when it bubble to the surface with a lot of other frustrated gardening failures, resulting in a bit of a tantrum / rant.... there was no physical abuse but plenty of shouting and fist shaking and finger pointing... and the dogs looked sheepishly contrite, with their hound dog expressions and bowed heads...so I spent the rest of the afternoon between swats at mosquito's erecting an ugly, hillbilly looking little fence around the new bed they had dug in just the other day I ran out of the little wire fencing and had to use this ugly white plastic snow fence....last night they looked quite forlorn, that they were not able to access that nice soft dirt any longer...hah....fixed them... but that only means for the time being until they die or I get sick of looking at the ugly fence.

The fire in Slave Lake is a terrible tragedy...we had a grass fire not far from us last week, while the winds weren't quite as horrific then, it was still a frightening thing to see, the smoke and flames moved so fast...

A neighbour with a brush pile burning all winter, thought it had gone out on it;'s own and when the wind whipped up so did the fire and burned both his quarters of land that of a two close neighbours, a couple of grain bins were lost and he lost a garage...but it was just a mile away when they got it out...helicopters and fire trucks...it was quite the endeavour and on a much smaller scale than Slave Lake.   but had they not stopped it the wind was blowing it our way................  Luckily we were home and Robert started the CAT, to make sure he had it going in case he needed to make a fire guard. which , given the year I think would be a good idea anyway...

We went from having snow on the ground four weeks ago to being so dry it is ridiculous.  This wind is incredible...80 km/hour with gust to 100 km.
Branches have broken off the trees in the yard and they barely have leaves on them yet.

We ate our first picking of asparagus yesterday and it was delicious...looking forward to a long season of that.hmmmmmm

gotta go make lunch... have a great day...and again...sorry for the time between posts...it's a busy time of year for me, so they will not happen as frequently as they do in the winter..but keep looking...I am sure to have some interesting stories to share.

Apologies

I know I have no business blogging when I am in such a foul mood....so I apologize for my bad language at least.

Things are imploding here, it seems, each day brings something else crashing down around us.

I am, of course, totally over reacting. Blowing things out of proportion, like people who can't handle stress, tend to do...

But from where I stand, this shit seems serious enough to me...and I am sorry, but for privacy sake I can not divulge the worst of it. But I can tell you this;

The farm is about a month and a half behind thanks to our long lingering winter season...the snow is all gone now, the pot holes are full of water and the leaf buds are swollen and on the verge of bursting forth the fresh young greenness of spring leaves. My lawn needs to be mowed and I have no ambition.

For those of you who have often thought that my yard is way to elaborate, I give you permission to now, collectively, to say " I TOLD YOU SO",  I am struggling this year to get all the spring yard work done. Actually I don't really want to do it...but after an intense 40 minutes on the treadmill and 60 sit ups I force my tortured, aching body out side to get even one thing accomplished for the day. Robert says I am pushing my self too hard. I know I am, but am determined to carry on like there was nothing the matter with me, since that is what they say at this point... I have a big doctors appointment at the end of the month...but I am not holding much hope that anything will be resolved...so it's just me, still in limbo....no body doing a think because they don't know what to do....still hobbling around on my screwed up ankle. fine on level ground with good shoes on but on uneven ground my ankle wants to turn outwards, badly, which is very painful.

Anyway, the most upsetting thing happened the other day, a phone call, that in the matter of a few minutes, sent my heart racing and my mind spinning. I can't tell you what it was, but even though rationally I have nothing to worry about, there is still that feeling of panic...kinda like when the cops pull you over even though you know you weren't doing anything wrong...that feeling....so we shall see where it all leads...since I have four weeks to stew about it before the crunch.hahahaha sounds cryptic doesn't it... well let's just say it is something all of us would dread happening, and leave it at that.


In my son's defense...I did receive a Mothers Day card today...in the mail...and a birthday card a few weeks early...both of them just signed, no message...but since he only lives a half hour away it is still a bit hurt full that that is the best he can do...well, there is nobody to blame but myself and his father since we raised him...by the way, his father was just as lame about birthdays, mothers day and Christmas as he is...at least about the gift and appreciation part, the partying part, well, it never took much of a holiday as an excuse to throw a party in which I cooked and he drank....

Things in the greenhouse are growing nicely, my tomato plants are about six inches now with lots of dark green branches on them and the cabbage plants are up and growing...my flowers are doing great..I planted a lot of them in the big planters I moved in there with the furniture mover...and they are blowing and cascading over the edge of the pots already..I am loath to put them outside where the ferocious wind and hail and other weather related tests will try their best to destroy them... Most of my shrubs and perennials have survived the winter, that is one good thing about five feet of snow...it is great ground cover and things are protected from the -40 temps by the snow...so everything should bloom this spring...even the bulbs I  reluctantly planted last fall are coming up so na,na,na, na-na to you to squirrel...I outsmarted you this time...usually the beggars dig up the bulbs and eat them...so I grew daffodils (which are poisonous, the bulbs ) and paper whites and other stuff...and the beggar didn't dig them up, maybe the cedar mulch I layed in the beds helped confuse him...he couldn't smell them...although I did consider planting them in the dead of night with only a flashlight to light my way so that the squirrel didn't see where I was planting them.

I hadn't grown bulbs for quite a few years..but Robert talked me into trying again. and I agreed only under the condition that it be narcissus and daffodils and such...that I knew they wouldn't eat. Tulips were out of the equation... as were gladiolas since our yard is way to windy for tall flowers...they always break off in the bad winds and makes me sad... 

When we go to a nursery or greenhouse to buy shrubs and perennials...I am usually asked what I already grow and that does well, and my reply is always the same...zone 2 or less...is all that will grow in our yard... so that's Siberia and the Arctic...hahahahhaha    But that offers a surprising number of shrubs,
Cranberry, Dogwood, Junipers, evergreens, Spireas and more .

So my yard is slowly morphing into a low maintenance one, the shrub beds already are 8 inches deep in cedar mulch, which will cut down on the need to weed. Most are planted with trouble free shrubs and perennials that need little work, the new beds will become that way over the next couple of years...some of the old trashy arbours are being disassembled and the timbers used for other projects..even the big one lining the front sidewalk has turned out to be a disappointment to us and will be coming down this spring and moved to some remote corner of the yard...  I have become completely disgusted with solar lighting...you pay an arm and a leg for the damned things and they never last long or don't work at all...I found five out of a set of eight I bought last spring, broken this spring when the snow melted...I suspect Roberts somewhat vigorous snow shovelling to be the cause but am not about to complain since that is the first snow he has shovelled in years, but apparently the plastic shaft the lights sat on is not that durable at -30 temps.. hahahaha

I am probably going to jinx myself by saying this out loud...but so far we haven't heard our little toad friend in the pond this spring...all the other frogs in the sloughs and ditches are croaking like mad....I am hoping he shows up...
Oh I know, I complain about the serenading all through the night right outside my bedroom window...but the slug control alone makes it all worth while...

Well, I should mosey along and get my spaghetti sauce started...spaghetti, salad and garlic bread sticks for supper tonight.  Robert had started working in the field now so is not often in the house long..so I have to have it ready when he comes in or he leaves again, and your guess is as good as mine as to when he will be back...even dark isn't a guarantee of his coming in...he plowed until midnight yesterday...

Lots of Birthdays this month in the family....Maggie, today, Sue tomorrow Mine and Bob's at the end of the month and then Fern's and Kim's in early June.  Happy Birthday to all of us...

Happy Belated Mother's day Bitches

I am in a very crappy mood this morning and shouldn't be writing on this blog at this moment...but since nobody is here to stop me....read it and weep.

We had a good week last week, quite a bit of yard work and Robert got a few jobs of his done...always a bonus...on Friday we went to the city with the box of our truck full of bags of mulch that I bought last fall at an online auction...for 2 bucks a bag...Roberts elderly aunt lives in the city and we took it to her place to put under her huge soon to be mature and fall over blue spruce that dominates her front yard...the ground is so dry the grass won't grow so I thought the mulch would look better than dirt with the odd weed popping up....she agreed to let us spread it...and it looked like a million bucks...we had enough left over to spread it under her raised deck at the back of the house where her dog usually does it's business and there was more bare dirt...wow what a difference that made...

So we did our good deed for the week..and felt pretty good about it too...had our chinese fix and headed home...with the real reason we went completely forgotten and that was for me to pick up an ornamental tree for the front garden...maybe next time.

Mothers day was good...I cooked a turkey that we have long wanted to have but never the right moment or reason...and with no plans for the day we made that the plan....cook it , pig out and freeze the rest as dinners and stuff...I made turkey, gravey, mashed potatoes...sweet potato walnut dish, sausage stuffing, peas, carrots and cranberry jelly salad. It was Delicious...

no calls that day, not a one...so, when you have a child and that child does absolutely nothing Mothers day or any other day for that matter...does that make you a bad mother (not deserving of that respect) or does it mean you have a bad child ( who lives with their head up their ass and is going to leave the revelation that no one loves you like your mother, until it's too late and she's gone)... Just asking .......?