WHY do I even try

You know, I can't help but think that life would be so much better if people would just say what they think...

For instance there is this guy that works at our local UFA store...farm hardware store...he is actually assistant manager..but what a lame dick...when I go there (which is a lot lately, for calving supplies) I am always soooo lucky to get him to attend me at the till.... He never smiles, never chit chats...and I always end up thinking the exact same thing..."would it kill you to smile...or better yet take the f''ing stick out of your ass and relax a bit, people will smile back." .....he is the  least helpful worker there, I am not sure what the hell he gets paid for...if you ask him if they have this part for the water bowls...he says "NO" without even going to look, or saying "no, but I can get you one in two days" or something like that...but it's just No....end of conversation... and then I recently found out that he is actually a town councilor in Mayerthorpe...hahahah that cracked me up... he is such a lazy, stiff dish wad..  Oh if only I had the nerve to tell him what I think...

But we don't do we, no, we play nice and smile in spite of his funeral face...I mean come on man...you're the first person, other than Robert I've spoken to in over two weeks and that's the best you can do....

I did a completely out of the box thing for me, today...I called my two girl friends and tried to arrange a girls day...bring lunch and your favorite DVD to Sherry's house and we'll hang out, eat lunch, watch movies and talk...Sherry's husband works til late and they have the best flat screen TV, it's big too...with surround sound...you know make a day of it and have some girl time... It was a big step for me to take the initiative like that...as I am a bit of a social retard...and end up being way to complacent....but I thought what the hell, nothings going to change unless I make it, right?.... I ended up having to leave voicemail messages..they were both out..and so far one of them has called back to tell me she doesn't feel so good and won't come...

I am disappointed...so now I am just waiting for the other ones excuse...and I am now convinced there will be one... because nothing like this ever turns out for me...

Oh well, I tried...maybe another time. I guess I will go out and help Robert spread some straw...