Impossible

It is Impossible to communicate just how bad I feel right now...I want to tear my hair out and rale at the world...Why ME.....

Me, because I am lazy... because I let myself go...feel sorry for myself... but if I don't then who will... I ask..

My Sunday was ruined...by a phone call from my Doctor...yes, that's right a weekend call from my Doctor...that's just how dedicated he is to fucking with my life....hahahahahaha


He called to tell me I am officially diabetic... there I said it......DIABETIC...

the past 6 years I have been battling it....trying to control it by watching my diet...low carbs...no sweets...obviously I failed...ahahahhaah  it is hard shit to do....they take all the goodies in life and say uh uh...can't have... Like who knew...that you shouldn't eat a lot of fruit if you are diabetic...I thought it was being healthy...but oh nooooo.... 5 servings of fruit per day but spaced out over the day not all at once as a complete meal....ahahahahah  there goes R's favorite evening meal...fruit salad and cheese and crackers... I can have about a 1/2 cup of fruit....whoopee. not worth getting the bowl dirty really. If I lived alone it would be a lot less of a problem...but R gets those big doe eyes when I tell him I am not making bread anymore...or pies, or cookies or squares....see if I make them then I want to eat them....and that's just not allowed anymore....and then R is my biggest enabler...he stops at Tim's and DQ....what that is about I am not sure...but it has to stop... I refuse to drop dead of heart disease or kidney failure until I have spent my retirement fund... so I am pissed, and there is no one to blame but myself... so on Friday I start some new medications....for the sugar thing...and that sucks cause ironically they make you gain weight.   Just what I need....with any luck they will make me nauseous...and I wont feel like eating...

Mowed the lawn today, first time in two weeks...that's how dry it was here...we had that downpour and nothing since...and they say we are going into a long hot dry spell, so I mowed it today while it was still half decent weather...
We are taking some friends into the city on Friday to pick up a bike they ordered for their grandson and can't haul in the trunk of their car...we get a free lunch out of it so it should be fun....

A NEIGHBOUR, Stan Knapp just won 16.9 million dollars in the lottery....he picks up the check next week....Oh MY GOD.... if I thought I stood half a chance I would buy tickets too....but alas, I am not a lucky person when it comes to draws....ahahahahaha Stan and wife are splitting the money with their 3 children....4 million for each kid and 4.9 for Stan.... sweet...