You know how when you eat a handful of Walnuts...mmmmmm they are so good and then you pop a nice big one in your mouth and it is the most bitter vile shit you ever tasted...well...kids are like that....
Now, I know what you're thinking...Oh here she goes again...whining about her loser son..... well surprise, surprise....it's not about him...specifically...I've dis-owned him...he is DEAD to me....hahahahha for now...for my own sanity, I have to do this...
No this is about kids in general...just some observances I've made over the years...
Like why do we as parents...place our kids in a rosy bubble...where they live under the assumption that life is all about them, it's grand and generous and fair. Where we all get exactly what we want, when we want it and at little expenditure on our part...It's like we are setting them up for disappointment and ourselves a life time of grief... We give to them until we have nothing left to give...
The mistake we make is not letting them live in the real world...where they will have to work their asses off just to have enough to eat...work hard at a job they may hate and smile while they do it... They may actually have to work a life time only to find that they even then can't afford to retire or buy that lake house...or fancy car they always dreamed of owning.
We let them spend their weekends lolling around in bed or at the mall...when in real life ...they will be either working a second job or taxiing their kids all over creation or catching up on the honey do list of chores that they are six months behind on...
We baby them until they turn 18 and then kick them out into the world or they jump out of the nest on their own thinking they are prepared, awesome and everyone is going to love and coddle them just like their parents did and whamoo.... the real world hits them square in the face...and most of them don't survive...
Now, I 'm not saying we have to abuse their tender self esteem but we need to better prepare them for what they WILL face....competition, insignificance, indifference and out right hostility. Not...oh honey you are the smartest girl in the world...oh you're so beautiful...oh baby you're so talented... Where the hell did this every kid wins a ribbon mentality come from.... When I was a kid in school and we were having sports day... and you didn't enter any events, you didn't get a ribbon...if you came in fourth, fifth, sixth, or god forbid last, you didn't get a ribbon... you only got a ribbon if you ran the fastest, jumped the highest or threw the furthest. So come on what's with this every kids a winner... On parent teacher days, when parents were invited to come in to the class room and view their child's work...speak with the teacher, my parents never came. I was the kid that sat at my desk and watched my friends show their parents their art work and the stars they earned on the top of their arithmetic work book...my best friends parents would come and look at my stuff when they saw me sitting at my desk with my hands tucked under my legs...and I swore I wasn't gonna cry...no sir...not me...I saved it til I was walking home from school and got to an empty house...Dad out in camp working and Mom at the bar.... but you know what... in spite of them not caring enough to make an appearance...I earned stars...I won honour roles and ran races and won ribbons...because I worked really hard...I had trouble reading as a kid...mild dyslexia...they discovered...but with remedial reading classes and a great caring teacher I conquered it...
I had to work very hard for everything I wanted... even love....and it made me strong...it made me smart...
Kids now a days want what they see their parents have, the nice vehicles, fancy house...and expensive holidays...but they don't want to work the thirty years or so it took their parents to get all that...noooooo they want it today...and you're suppose to get it for them...or at least help...
how many of them get out of school and want that $30. / hour job and work only three days a week..and if they can't have that job they don't take any job... I was constantly telling my son that $10/hour is better than $0./hour... and any job will put food on the table until a better job comes along...the key is to actually work... but nope, most young people just don't get it...
Because we don't make them do any thing... they don't mow grass, garden, cook, clean, laundry or pay bills... so is it any wonder why they flounder when they move out on their own...I have a friend whose 32 yr old daughter is still living at home...oh she's lived on her own for brief spurts of time...long enough to run her credit cards up and get behind in her rent because she hasn't quite caught on to the correlation between her bad spending habits and lack of funds...then she runs back home and her parents let her live for free with them until she is feeling confident again and her debts are paid off..then off she goes...to run her cards up again...because she wants that same lifestyle she had at home...where her whole pay check goes toward fun...clothes, entertainment..etc....and her parents pay the phone bill, heat, power and food bills... they need to lock the door the next time she moves out and not let her back in..it is the kindest thing to do... because there is an minimum age restriction at most nursing homes you know...I don't think they would be too happy if that elderly couple where to have their 5o something year old daughter move there with them...
People need to keep it real with their kids...I cannot stress this enough... you are not doing them any favours molly coddling them to death... so here are some basic realities you need to make them aware of:
You are not the center of the Universe..
You most likely will not get your own reality show
You are not beautiful enough to be a fashion model
You will probably never win an Oscar
You may have to take a job you don't like just to pay the bills
You may not get that job that was perfect for you even though you were the most qualified.
You may have to rent a lot of houses before you can afford to own your own.
You may have to use public transit and never afford your own vehicle
You may have to work two jobs to put yourself through University
You may have to save for a few years and live frugally to save up the down payment on your first place
You may have to bend a little when your husband or wife wants something different than you...not just get a divorce cause he doesn't treat you like a princess. He was good enough to marry, he should be good enough to live with once you get over yourself.
Cause I have news for you...life is almost never easy, kind or fair...it's hard work, it sucks most of the time...and if you are one of the fortunate few, you die in your sleep at age 35....before you lose your job to down sizing, your husband leaves you for your babysitter, and your kids throw all the sacrifices you made for them back in your face by becoming a street busker...
We need to stop this destructive cycle...stop buffering our kids from the real world...it's a war out there people and we're sending our kids out to fight with a floaty noodle and fairy wings...
Splendor
January 31, 2011
January 30, 2011
End of an era
For those of you that didn't grow up with us " Conklin's", you might find this post a bit over the top...after all it's just Geography, right?....
when I was kid, we moved a lot, I mean A LOT. Sometimes twice or three times a year...We lived in Langley, a short stint in Ontario, Vancouver proper, New Westminster, Chilliwack, Surrey, New West., Burnaby, Whalley, White Rock, Revelstoke, Fernie, Salmon River and Prince George, a lot of these places we lived we lived in numerous homes in the same district... Permanency wasn't something we knew a lot about...as a matter of fact I remember once, when I was quite young...going to sleep in our room in one house and waking up in a room in a new house... Mother always said it was to get out of paying the rent due...but I don't know if that was true or not...a lot of the time, when we did move we sold the furniture we had and got different furniture when we found a new house to rent...sometimes we didn't have furniture (well not all the pieces we needed) until Dad got a paycheck and could find something used that was decent. So we moved and got different furniture all at the same time, so we learned early to not get too attached to STUFF... Prince George was the longest place we ever lived that I can remember...although we lived in a couple of different houses there they were just across the alley from one another. My family tended to move en-mass...too, that's to say, My uncle and oldest brother moved to Pr.George and shortly after we moved there too...
Years later my older sister moved to Alberta and not long after my parents moved there taking Pam with them...I ended up there too and then they moved back to BC and a few years later my oldest brother moved to the sunshine coast.then my parents did..and then Pam left Alberta and moved there and then Peggy... brother Kelly moved down there. When my first husband passed away my father and sister came for the funeral and my Dad tried talking me into selling and moving down there...and the sales pitch continued for a few months afterward...and I might have eventually done that if I hadn't met Robert...
Who knows how things would have turned out if I had...But the gypsy feet on my parents had stilled...and they stayed there until the end..it ended up being the longest place they had ever lived in.. On Klahanie Drive about 7 miles north of Powell River...My brother originally had a lovely single level beachfront home, sold that and bought a lot across the street and built his own home, there was an empty treed lot in a pie shape between his place and the place my parents bought...At first my Dad really liked it there, took him back to his commercial fisherman days..when he owned his own fishing boat and moored it at Ft. Langley on the Fraser River. My Mom could have lived anywhere, since she basically sat at the window with her little table and did crossword puzzles, smoked and neighbour watched...as the world passed by. My Dad made friends there and liked to socialize...my mom not so much. She had an aversion to people..I think that's where some of us get our social retardation from.
There was another empty lot on the other side of brother David and then a lovely open lot with a rickety little trailer on it..but the most spectacular view of the ocean, see the lot was elevated enough compared to the others on that side of the road that you looked right over the roof of the house in front and saw the sparkling waters of the Pacific ocean..and off in the distance Harwood and Texada Islands. Tall cedar and fir trees lined the rocky beach. but the lot was littered with old abandoned kitchen appliances and car bodies...and the elderly gentleman that lived there was wanting to move into town but the natives who own all the land on that part of the coast wanted him to clean the lot up...my Dad had befriended the old guy a year or so before and they sometimes went fishing together...Dad offered to help him clean it up and haul it all to the dump with his truck...and eventually the old guy told him he wanted to sell the place if he could...but that it was worthless the way it was...he sold it to my Dad for $1.oo if my Dad cleaned the lot up...and he did...
The trailer was small...needed a ton of work inside...but he made some new kitchen cabinets himself...fixed it up a bit and gave it to my sister Pam, who was renting a place in town...so the girls (they were just little then) would be close to Granny and Grandpa..while Pam was working...it suited them all very well... and that's how three houses in a row were occupied by family... When Jim moved in with Pam at her place on Klahanie...it seemed like a perfect fit...he had the little shop attached to the carport for doing his wood working projects...they made the place a home...although, in every home Pam has ever lived in as an adult, either good or bad, she has always made it cozy...she had a knack for nesting...She worked hard at improving the yard and eventually even erected the most talked about lawn feature in the family...my mother's old bicycle, painted ghostly white...and set on a tall pipe in the ground out in the back yard among the cedars...it's still there and we all love it...
When ever I flew down for a visit...sometimes 5 years would go by before I made it down, I always stayed at Mom and Dad's and then when that was no longer in the family I stayed at Jen's place in town but we spent most of time out on Klahanie at Pam's. It was Jen and Ayla's second home. It became the axis of our little Conklin world.. I remember sitting outside around a fragrant cedar bon fire..... roasting marshmallows and catching up with family news...or playing a game of "dimes" ( a favorite dice game) around the table after another one of Pam's great dinners on a Sunday night. I was horribly envious of her, back then, she had the best years of our parents...they had mellowed a lot by then. Those Sunday night dinners and games...man... when I was kid I cried myself to sleep many a night fervently wishing my family did that sort of thing...and then...when I lived a thousand miles away...they did.... Those trips I took to visit my family were bitter sweet to me...I never wanted to leave...
Oh I'm not saying they were the WALTON's or Cleaver's...but they were like the family I dreamed of belonging to... the gentle bickering, teasing, hugs, comradery and sense of belonging. I would fly home, pick my car up from the park n'ride.. and arrive home to an empty house... no one excited that I was back...or giving hugs because they missed me...my son was usually staying at his friends overnight and Sid was out working... at night there'd be a hockey game on TV or some new girly magazine he was perusing...my son shut up in his room and I could never get them to sit at the table and be a family... the one time we ever managed to play a board game together..my first husband slaughtered both my son and I and so totally demoralized us in the doing of it that we never attempted to play monopoly again...as a matter of fact I still loath that game to this very day...
So when I found out that my sisters daughter had put her moms old place up for sale I was filled with grief... silly I know.. but we can't help how we feel.
It is like someone just pulled the carpet out from under us.. My Dad's favorite little dog is buried there...for all I know my mothers ashes are there too...so much history... my first instinct was to buy it and rent it out... but the listing price is too high... it doesn't make financial sense to own a place so far away..and although my family lives there I have never become attached to Powell River like they have so retiring there is not an option. I need to be close to specialists and hospitals and a good movie theatre. hahaha
and so with heavy heart I am going to stand back and let it be sold. but it grieves me to do so..and I worry about my sister. It must be sad for her to see it sold, although she says it's not...It sure as hell hurts for the rest of us. But be fore warned Pam, no matter where you move we will always find you...ahahha It's just geography right? It doesn't matter where you live your life...it's who you live it with that matters.. it's people we are a part of not a place.
Still it is a shock to the system..when a crucial element of your family DNA is sold out from under you, especially for us, since we moved so often and never put down roots...until Powell River, that's why it's so emotional for us. So sad.
Oh well, that's life they say...the only thing constant in life is change...
I hope they remember to take Mom's bike with them to their new place.
when I was kid, we moved a lot, I mean A LOT. Sometimes twice or three times a year...We lived in Langley, a short stint in Ontario, Vancouver proper, New Westminster, Chilliwack, Surrey, New West., Burnaby, Whalley, White Rock, Revelstoke, Fernie, Salmon River and Prince George, a lot of these places we lived we lived in numerous homes in the same district... Permanency wasn't something we knew a lot about...as a matter of fact I remember once, when I was quite young...going to sleep in our room in one house and waking up in a room in a new house... Mother always said it was to get out of paying the rent due...but I don't know if that was true or not...a lot of the time, when we did move we sold the furniture we had and got different furniture when we found a new house to rent...sometimes we didn't have furniture (well not all the pieces we needed) until Dad got a paycheck and could find something used that was decent. So we moved and got different furniture all at the same time, so we learned early to not get too attached to STUFF... Prince George was the longest place we ever lived that I can remember...although we lived in a couple of different houses there they were just across the alley from one another. My family tended to move en-mass...too, that's to say, My uncle and oldest brother moved to Pr.George and shortly after we moved there too...
Years later my older sister moved to Alberta and not long after my parents moved there taking Pam with them...I ended up there too and then they moved back to BC and a few years later my oldest brother moved to the sunshine coast.then my parents did..and then Pam left Alberta and moved there and then Peggy... brother Kelly moved down there. When my first husband passed away my father and sister came for the funeral and my Dad tried talking me into selling and moving down there...and the sales pitch continued for a few months afterward...and I might have eventually done that if I hadn't met Robert...
Who knows how things would have turned out if I had...But the gypsy feet on my parents had stilled...and they stayed there until the end..it ended up being the longest place they had ever lived in.. On Klahanie Drive about 7 miles north of Powell River...My brother originally had a lovely single level beachfront home, sold that and bought a lot across the street and built his own home, there was an empty treed lot in a pie shape between his place and the place my parents bought...At first my Dad really liked it there, took him back to his commercial fisherman days..when he owned his own fishing boat and moored it at Ft. Langley on the Fraser River. My Mom could have lived anywhere, since she basically sat at the window with her little table and did crossword puzzles, smoked and neighbour watched...as the world passed by. My Dad made friends there and liked to socialize...my mom not so much. She had an aversion to people..I think that's where some of us get our social retardation from.
There was another empty lot on the other side of brother David and then a lovely open lot with a rickety little trailer on it..but the most spectacular view of the ocean, see the lot was elevated enough compared to the others on that side of the road that you looked right over the roof of the house in front and saw the sparkling waters of the Pacific ocean..and off in the distance Harwood and Texada Islands. Tall cedar and fir trees lined the rocky beach. but the lot was littered with old abandoned kitchen appliances and car bodies...and the elderly gentleman that lived there was wanting to move into town but the natives who own all the land on that part of the coast wanted him to clean the lot up...my Dad had befriended the old guy a year or so before and they sometimes went fishing together...Dad offered to help him clean it up and haul it all to the dump with his truck...and eventually the old guy told him he wanted to sell the place if he could...but that it was worthless the way it was...he sold it to my Dad for $1.oo if my Dad cleaned the lot up...and he did...
The trailer was small...needed a ton of work inside...but he made some new kitchen cabinets himself...fixed it up a bit and gave it to my sister Pam, who was renting a place in town...so the girls (they were just little then) would be close to Granny and Grandpa..while Pam was working...it suited them all very well... and that's how three houses in a row were occupied by family... When Jim moved in with Pam at her place on Klahanie...it seemed like a perfect fit...he had the little shop attached to the carport for doing his wood working projects...they made the place a home...although, in every home Pam has ever lived in as an adult, either good or bad, she has always made it cozy...she had a knack for nesting...She worked hard at improving the yard and eventually even erected the most talked about lawn feature in the family...my mother's old bicycle, painted ghostly white...and set on a tall pipe in the ground out in the back yard among the cedars...it's still there and we all love it...
When ever I flew down for a visit...sometimes 5 years would go by before I made it down, I always stayed at Mom and Dad's and then when that was no longer in the family I stayed at Jen's place in town but we spent most of time out on Klahanie at Pam's. It was Jen and Ayla's second home. It became the axis of our little Conklin world.. I remember sitting outside around a fragrant cedar bon fire..... roasting marshmallows and catching up with family news...or playing a game of "dimes" ( a favorite dice game) around the table after another one of Pam's great dinners on a Sunday night. I was horribly envious of her, back then, she had the best years of our parents...they had mellowed a lot by then. Those Sunday night dinners and games...man... when I was kid I cried myself to sleep many a night fervently wishing my family did that sort of thing...and then...when I lived a thousand miles away...they did.... Those trips I took to visit my family were bitter sweet to me...I never wanted to leave...
Oh I'm not saying they were the WALTON's or Cleaver's...but they were like the family I dreamed of belonging to... the gentle bickering, teasing, hugs, comradery and sense of belonging. I would fly home, pick my car up from the park n'ride.. and arrive home to an empty house... no one excited that I was back...or giving hugs because they missed me...my son was usually staying at his friends overnight and Sid was out working... at night there'd be a hockey game on TV or some new girly magazine he was perusing...my son shut up in his room and I could never get them to sit at the table and be a family... the one time we ever managed to play a board game together..my first husband slaughtered both my son and I and so totally demoralized us in the doing of it that we never attempted to play monopoly again...as a matter of fact I still loath that game to this very day...
So when I found out that my sisters daughter had put her moms old place up for sale I was filled with grief... silly I know.. but we can't help how we feel.
It is like someone just pulled the carpet out from under us.. My Dad's favorite little dog is buried there...for all I know my mothers ashes are there too...so much history... my first instinct was to buy it and rent it out... but the listing price is too high... it doesn't make financial sense to own a place so far away..and although my family lives there I have never become attached to Powell River like they have so retiring there is not an option. I need to be close to specialists and hospitals and a good movie theatre. hahaha
and so with heavy heart I am going to stand back and let it be sold. but it grieves me to do so..and I worry about my sister. It must be sad for her to see it sold, although she says it's not...It sure as hell hurts for the rest of us. But be fore warned Pam, no matter where you move we will always find you...ahahha It's just geography right? It doesn't matter where you live your life...it's who you live it with that matters.. it's people we are a part of not a place.
Still it is a shock to the system..when a crucial element of your family DNA is sold out from under you, especially for us, since we moved so often and never put down roots...until Powell River, that's why it's so emotional for us. So sad.
Oh well, that's life they say...the only thing constant in life is change...
I hope they remember to take Mom's bike with them to their new place.
January 26, 2011
Done In
I regret my offer to go out everyday and help Robert...God help me I do...call me lazy, call me lazy and fat... I don't care...I just can't do that kind of work anymore...let's see, yesterday I got up at 7 am...put Roberts coffee on and went to walk on the treadmill... 30 minutes and two miles later...I was making breakfast...as soon as we ate breakfast we headed outside...tagged a few calves, bedded the calving pen, that's spreading two 1500 lb bales of straw with a pitch fork to cover a 70x 80 ft. area...then Robert rolled out a bale of greenfeed down the hill and we let the cows out to eat.. then he started up the CAT and went to push snow..to make another pen ready for the cows and calves that we need to turn out into bigger pens..while I spent the afternoon walking up and down the hill checking for cows that might start calving...their instinct is to go to the farthest corner of the field and hide in the willows to have their babies...can't blame them since it's only natural to them but we want to catch them before they have the water bag..or we can't get them to move closer to the barn.. So while Robert was clearing snow...I had two heifers calf and an older cow had a set of twins...all alive and I had to haul them all into the barn in the calf sled. Hard work for a cripple.By the time I was done, my ankle was on fire and my back was killing me and I had a splitting headache from being out in the bright sun...it was a gorgeous day, I must admit..sunny, light breeze and +3... so that was all day...luckily I had taken and a banana and orange out to the barn ...but I never got to go back to the house until 7 pm...and then when I did...I had to crawl over the enormous bank of snow that had slid off the house roof (yes it has tin on it too) and landed on our deck, where the key to house was left...turns out it was completely buried by heavy wet packed snow...I had to dig with my hands to free my shovel from the snow and then shoveled all the snow off the deck back to the door...snow was even piled up against the door... now, shoveling snow is not so bad but the damned banks are 6 ft tall now so you have to lift and throw the snow a long ways...I was wasted by the time I finished...and I hobbled into the house and had to make supper...thank god for leftovers is all I can say..
Robert insisted I take muscles relaxers last night before he went out the barn...so I did, (I always do what I'm told, I'm such a good little girl) and by the time I brushed my teeth, got my jammies on and carefully crawled into bed (my back kept spasming) I was done... I picked up my book, put my glasses on and fell asleep...I woke up at 4 am to my bedside spot light shining in my face...my skin was actually hot from the light being on so long. That's never happened before...my glasses were bent...and book, well, let's just say it will never be the same again...
I wasn't up quite as early this morning as I was yesterday...or a spry...no treadmill for me today...I figured it would pushing my luck...robert came in for breakfast, he was watching the State of the Union address by Obama when I went outside to check cows...and followed me up to the barn after about an hour...we tagged another 5 calves from the day before and re-bedded the calving pen...(everyday chore) fed more hay, I spread some straw in the pen where the cows go after they calf, that's an important pen to keep dry so that the cows udders don't get shitty. If they do, then the babies could get sick or just not suck the dirty teats...so now that there is a number of cows in that pen it will need to be bedded everyday as well. Because unlike hogs, cows will shit anywhere...they will be laying in the nice clean straw...stand up, crap and then lay back down....while pigs will shit in a far corner, away from their bed and food...not so cows... Two more heifers calved today and another couple of older cows...so we started on the 20th and 30 cows have calved already...not bad..
When a heifer calves...Oh God, it is the most frustrating thing.... first they start off by not feeling right...you know maybe the pains are starting and they feel wierd...some of them get this expression on their faces, like they wanna cry...some will kick their belly, there's usually a lot of pacing and walking the fence...rubbing their butt against the fence.. laying down, getting up...turning around...laying back down...some will stamp their feet and bully the other cows...they don't understand what's happening to them...when things progress...and they start pushing to have the water bag...it is comical...they'll bellow and groan...thrash their heads around on the bedding..kick in the air and put on quite the show...and when the water bag finally comes out...they think it's over...they get up start mooing and sucking up the jelly like fluid...now they are pretty much married to that particular spot...since that's where the water broke...it has their scent and that is nearly always where they will have their calf...then the contractions start coming stronger and closer together and the calf has to spread the cervix and pelvis the rest of the way open (the water bag spreads them most of the way) funny though, some of them will be quiet as church mice...and not make a sound and the next one will bellow and rant like she's birthing a steam engine... Patience is the key...to wait...while she goes through all this...takes lots of patience... Robert would like to slap the chains on the feet and drag the calf out..but that doesn't help the heifer...she needs to learn how to push and prepare herself for the process...if you help them it makes them lazy...then as cows they are pussies, and as cows they will have much larger calves than they do as heifers, by natural choice and our bull selection. So it's best to wait and watch...so Robert will leave them and go and do other things and that's where he runs into problems, if the calf sooner than expected and it's head is folder under the body or the emrionic sac is still on it's head...it will suffocate...heifers don't always get up as quick as they should to lick the calf ...they feel sorry for themselves... I wait and watch...take a book ...I time them....so much time to get to this stage, so much time to get to that stage...and if after a couple of hours nothing is changing then we walk them into the barn and have a look see what's going on... So yah, heifers are a pain in the butt...then you get the ones that once she has the darned thing she wants to kill it.... it's only hormones and shock from the pain...but we have had to remove the calf from her pen until they calm down...it can take hours...but they will bunt them and slam them into the wall..especially when the calf moves...which it wants to do right away...intinctually...to get that first suck...had one of those yesterday...
Well I wanted to write more about calving but Robert has just buzzed me that he's coming down to the house for supper, so I have to go...a man may work from dusk til dawn but a womans work is never done...
Robert insisted I take muscles relaxers last night before he went out the barn...so I did, (I always do what I'm told, I'm such a good little girl) and by the time I brushed my teeth, got my jammies on and carefully crawled into bed (my back kept spasming) I was done... I picked up my book, put my glasses on and fell asleep...I woke up at 4 am to my bedside spot light shining in my face...my skin was actually hot from the light being on so long. That's never happened before...my glasses were bent...and book, well, let's just say it will never be the same again...
I wasn't up quite as early this morning as I was yesterday...or a spry...no treadmill for me today...I figured it would pushing my luck...robert came in for breakfast, he was watching the State of the Union address by Obama when I went outside to check cows...and followed me up to the barn after about an hour...we tagged another 5 calves from the day before and re-bedded the calving pen...(everyday chore) fed more hay, I spread some straw in the pen where the cows go after they calf, that's an important pen to keep dry so that the cows udders don't get shitty. If they do, then the babies could get sick or just not suck the dirty teats...so now that there is a number of cows in that pen it will need to be bedded everyday as well. Because unlike hogs, cows will shit anywhere...they will be laying in the nice clean straw...stand up, crap and then lay back down....while pigs will shit in a far corner, away from their bed and food...not so cows... Two more heifers calved today and another couple of older cows...so we started on the 20th and 30 cows have calved already...not bad..
When a heifer calves...Oh God, it is the most frustrating thing.... first they start off by not feeling right...you know maybe the pains are starting and they feel wierd...some of them get this expression on their faces, like they wanna cry...some will kick their belly, there's usually a lot of pacing and walking the fence...rubbing their butt against the fence.. laying down, getting up...turning around...laying back down...some will stamp their feet and bully the other cows...they don't understand what's happening to them...when things progress...and they start pushing to have the water bag...it is comical...they'll bellow and groan...thrash their heads around on the bedding..kick in the air and put on quite the show...and when the water bag finally comes out...they think it's over...they get up start mooing and sucking up the jelly like fluid...now they are pretty much married to that particular spot...since that's where the water broke...it has their scent and that is nearly always where they will have their calf...then the contractions start coming stronger and closer together and the calf has to spread the cervix and pelvis the rest of the way open (the water bag spreads them most of the way) funny though, some of them will be quiet as church mice...and not make a sound and the next one will bellow and rant like she's birthing a steam engine... Patience is the key...to wait...while she goes through all this...takes lots of patience... Robert would like to slap the chains on the feet and drag the calf out..but that doesn't help the heifer...she needs to learn how to push and prepare herself for the process...if you help them it makes them lazy...then as cows they are pussies, and as cows they will have much larger calves than they do as heifers, by natural choice and our bull selection. So it's best to wait and watch...so Robert will leave them and go and do other things and that's where he runs into problems, if the calf sooner than expected and it's head is folder under the body or the emrionic sac is still on it's head...it will suffocate...heifers don't always get up as quick as they should to lick the calf ...they feel sorry for themselves... I wait and watch...take a book ...I time them....so much time to get to this stage, so much time to get to that stage...and if after a couple of hours nothing is changing then we walk them into the barn and have a look see what's going on... So yah, heifers are a pain in the butt...then you get the ones that once she has the darned thing she wants to kill it.... it's only hormones and shock from the pain...but we have had to remove the calf from her pen until they calm down...it can take hours...but they will bunt them and slam them into the wall..especially when the calf moves...which it wants to do right away...intinctually...to get that first suck...had one of those yesterday...
Well I wanted to write more about calving but Robert has just buzzed me that he's coming down to the house for supper, so I have to go...a man may work from dusk til dawn but a womans work is never done...
January 24, 2011
Oh Gosh
I am sometimes a bit embarrassed by my posts when I re-read them... you know, a bit too vehement, a bit too abusive...and just a bit too much...
What can I say in my defense... this venue is my sounding board...I have no "girlfriends" to come over for coffee and trash our husbands with, get things off our chests and just relax and converse with...so it builds and builds and then kaboom... another post is born...hahahaha as a matter of fact... I haven't spoken to any one in person other than a check out person at a till, my chiropractor or Robert since New Years... it is just facebook and my blog...and let's be honest...I barely get noticed on facebook, since my computer is turned off most of the day with the exception of the couple of hours I have it on to check email and write my blog...so I am not constantly updating my status...on Facebook.. neither do I lead a terribly exciting life...feed cows hay, cows eat hay, cows shit hay, Cathy shovels shit...my life in a nut shell...if it wasn't for telemarketers, our phone would rarely ring...with of course the exception of Jennifer, who calls her sad old aunty Cathy on an extremely regular basis and listens to her tale of woes.. Thanks Jen..your my rock...
So I'm not making excuses...well okay I am, but I think I have legitimate reasons for venting on my blog... and if I had more of a life I'd definitely have more to write about...
What can I say in my defense... this venue is my sounding board...I have no "girlfriends" to come over for coffee and trash our husbands with, get things off our chests and just relax and converse with...so it builds and builds and then kaboom... another post is born...hahahaha as a matter of fact... I haven't spoken to any one in person other than a check out person at a till, my chiropractor or Robert since New Years... it is just facebook and my blog...and let's be honest...I barely get noticed on facebook, since my computer is turned off most of the day with the exception of the couple of hours I have it on to check email and write my blog...so I am not constantly updating my status...on Facebook.. neither do I lead a terribly exciting life...feed cows hay, cows eat hay, cows shit hay, Cathy shovels shit...my life in a nut shell...if it wasn't for telemarketers, our phone would rarely ring...with of course the exception of Jennifer, who calls her sad old aunty Cathy on an extremely regular basis and listens to her tale of woes.. Thanks Jen..your my rock...
So I'm not making excuses...well okay I am, but I think I have legitimate reasons for venting on my blog... and if I had more of a life I'd definitely have more to write about...
A Better Day
I had hoped that getting my frustration off my chest on this blog would make today a better day....but that didn't happen. I should really not blog on here when I am in such a foul mood. We lost two more calves last night...that's right, this calving season is turning into a gong show. I take that back, it's not turning into one, it just flat is one...it's official. We have had twelve cows calf, three of them having twins so that should be a total of 15 calves...we have 10 live calves. Not a very good start...even though we have lost 5 calves other years during the whole calving time, this is quite a few so early in the season...it makes me nervous about what's to come.. since we are just getting started. The first calf was a stillbirth, premature and probably killed in the cow by her fighting with other cows...when the cows and heifers are put together there is always a big hoopla over pecking order...then the next calf to die was twin from a cow that had twins last year and lost them both....during the night...this one, same thing, was having them at 3 am and when Robert went out to check there was only one alive...the third calf to die was the one the mother layed on...The cows are put out of their pen for an hour tops, while Robert spreads fresh bedding...that day, he got sidetracked and it was more like three hours....standing in the snow...so she had it and then layed down to expel the afterbirth and the only place to lay down was where the calf was...so she did....then these two calves last night....oh my god... I was out there in the afternoon to help Robert since he was having trouble getting all his work done and watch the cows....no problem...so at 4 pm I was told I was no longer needed...and I told him there was a second calver starting to show signs of calving...restless, pacing and laying down and getting up, but no water bag yet...he said okay....so I went to the house....at 7 pm I had a bowl of soup and was still waiting for Robert to come in for his...well at 10 pm, he buzzed me on the intercom to tell me he was just about to get that same cow in the barn to see what was happening....because she still hadn't calved... Jesus H Christ... one of the elementary rules of calving cows is ....from the first signs of calving, to two hours later if no calf is delivered you reach into the cow and feel what the hell is going wrong.... he was busy, moving snow, and feeding grain to the bulls and what, what.....fucked up that's what... so he reached in and said on the intercom...I think it's just one calf....but it's upside down or sideways...or something.... what should I do.... he asked.... I told him to shoot her...cause a cow is worth $800. and to have the vet drive out at 11 pm and either deliver the calf or perform a Cesarean section is gonna cost $400-500.
I was joking about shooting her of course, since we don't have shells for our rifle and Robert does not know how to fire a gun. but what the hell was I suppose to say... phone the vet you fucking idiot...!!!!!!!!!
He called the vet, she came....and I found out this morning that she did not have to perform a Cesarean section, she just untangled twins and pulled them out but of course they were already dead....so two more dead calves to add to the growing pile and a depressed cow who walks around moooing for a baby... what a fucking dunce...honest to god... I don't know what his problem is this year...
so this morning after he tells me about the dead calves...we had an argument and I decided that he was UNable to cope on his own, that he was overwhelmed with all the work... so I got dressed for outside and headed out to the barn with him after breakfast...I shovelled manure out of the pens and he used the tractor to push it out of the barn, I shovelled snow so we could open more gates...I stood around for hours watching the cows, I must have walked up and down that big hill he feeds the cows on at least a dozen times checking...then I opened a few gates for him and the tractor while he fed hay...and finally we tagged another calf that was born yesterday, a live one for a change...
So now I am in the house ... crippled up...see I have been having this back thing for a couple of years now and it has taken a turn for the worst this winter... I am afraid to move...a nerve is being pinched between the discs in my spine and it causes my whole body to go limp...or the muscles in my back to spasm.... the connective tissue that holds our bones together is one of the major things my LUPUS attacks...so I have really loose joints...well I have been told that the ligaments and tendons that hold the spine upright...are so loose now that the discs in my back are popping out of line.. causing my ribs to move and so muscle and nerves are being stretched and pinched...there isn't much they can do... spinal surgery, inserting a steel rod up my spine will keep that from happening but render me nearly unbendable... I am not sure what I will decide to do... but in the mean time.. I am having a bit of hard time getting around and am in a lot of pain...I have osteoporosis because the chemo injection I get every week has depleted my bone mass..wha wha wha.... so I have some health issues...and I should fucking well not have to do this shitty farm work..32 years now and counting... but ...no one seems to get it...but I'll go out everyday now and do my share of work...hopefully it kills me off. Then I won't have to do it any more. THE END.
I was joking about shooting her of course, since we don't have shells for our rifle and Robert does not know how to fire a gun. but what the hell was I suppose to say... phone the vet you fucking idiot...!!!!!!!!!
He called the vet, she came....and I found out this morning that she did not have to perform a Cesarean section, she just untangled twins and pulled them out but of course they were already dead....so two more dead calves to add to the growing pile and a depressed cow who walks around moooing for a baby... what a fucking dunce...honest to god... I don't know what his problem is this year...
so this morning after he tells me about the dead calves...we had an argument and I decided that he was UNable to cope on his own, that he was overwhelmed with all the work... so I got dressed for outside and headed out to the barn with him after breakfast...I shovelled manure out of the pens and he used the tractor to push it out of the barn, I shovelled snow so we could open more gates...I stood around for hours watching the cows, I must have walked up and down that big hill he feeds the cows on at least a dozen times checking...then I opened a few gates for him and the tractor while he fed hay...and finally we tagged another calf that was born yesterday, a live one for a change...
So now I am in the house ... crippled up...see I have been having this back thing for a couple of years now and it has taken a turn for the worst this winter... I am afraid to move...a nerve is being pinched between the discs in my spine and it causes my whole body to go limp...or the muscles in my back to spasm.... the connective tissue that holds our bones together is one of the major things my LUPUS attacks...so I have really loose joints...well I have been told that the ligaments and tendons that hold the spine upright...are so loose now that the discs in my back are popping out of line.. causing my ribs to move and so muscle and nerves are being stretched and pinched...there isn't much they can do... spinal surgery, inserting a steel rod up my spine will keep that from happening but render me nearly unbendable... I am not sure what I will decide to do... but in the mean time.. I am having a bit of hard time getting around and am in a lot of pain...I have osteoporosis because the chemo injection I get every week has depleted my bone mass..wha wha wha.... so I have some health issues...and I should fucking well not have to do this shitty farm work..32 years now and counting... but ...no one seems to get it...but I'll go out everyday now and do my share of work...hopefully it kills me off. Then I won't have to do it any more. THE END.
January 23, 2011
Near Death Experience
I'm going to have a T-shirt made...."I survived the great snow slide of 2011"
It started out like any other day...my walk on the treadmill, breakfast, a short visit to facebook via the computer and then outside to tour the baby calf pen...
What made today special was that sometime during the wee hours of the morning a Chinook blew in and things warmed up...water was dripping off the eaves troughs during breakfast...the sun was shining and it looked to be a grand day... thus my walk up to the barn...now for those of you who have never been here...our barn is a 40 foot by 60 foot building and at it's peak it stands 24ft off the ground...and the tin roof is expansive...and holds a lot of snow...ahhhh I see you have guessed where this is going....hahahah well you would be right.
In the past couple of days of our nicer weather some snow had slid off the roof of the house already and just this morning off one side of the garage...making it necessary to shovel the bloody heavy stuff out of the way to be able to remove our vehicles from said garage... But the barn, well the barn just didn't want to let go of its snow just yet...and there was tons of it...with the wind and blizzards we have had the usual layer of snow was tripled in some places due to the drifting wind....
As I approached the barn I could hear and see that water was dripping off the eaves trough...a small of amount of snow was hanging over the eaves trough and melting in the warm air...( +2) I kept going and was nearly to the small door that enters the barn via the office when I heard a creaking sound and then whooooooosh....the force of the first wave of snow hit me in the shoulder and knocked me forward...I fell to my knees on the cement stoop and was knocked down flat, the snow buried my legs and covered up to my waist in more snow and it just kept coming... I was close enough to bang with my fist on the door and luckily for me, Robert was just inside...he ran back into the barn and fetched the scoop shovel...then proceeded to dig me out... I have to admit that the snow was horribly heavy and I was very lucky that it hadn't let loose when I was directly under it... when it all slid off, the pile was taller than I was and stretched the whole 60 foot length of the barn... a close call....and I am sure Robert was thinking " Damn missed again...." hahahaha
Our neighbour who just recently came home from southern Alberta is now on his third day of snow removal from his yard....
Here are some pics I took while I was outside today...
It started out like any other day...my walk on the treadmill, breakfast, a short visit to facebook via the computer and then outside to tour the baby calf pen...
What made today special was that sometime during the wee hours of the morning a Chinook blew in and things warmed up...water was dripping off the eaves troughs during breakfast...the sun was shining and it looked to be a grand day... thus my walk up to the barn...now for those of you who have never been here...our barn is a 40 foot by 60 foot building and at it's peak it stands 24ft off the ground...and the tin roof is expansive...and holds a lot of snow...ahhhh I see you have guessed where this is going....hahahah well you would be right.
In the past couple of days of our nicer weather some snow had slid off the roof of the house already and just this morning off one side of the garage...making it necessary to shovel the bloody heavy stuff out of the way to be able to remove our vehicles from said garage... But the barn, well the barn just didn't want to let go of its snow just yet...and there was tons of it...with the wind and blizzards we have had the usual layer of snow was tripled in some places due to the drifting wind....
As I approached the barn I could hear and see that water was dripping off the eaves trough...a small of amount of snow was hanging over the eaves trough and melting in the warm air...( +2) I kept going and was nearly to the small door that enters the barn via the office when I heard a creaking sound and then whooooooosh....the force of the first wave of snow hit me in the shoulder and knocked me forward...I fell to my knees on the cement stoop and was knocked down flat, the snow buried my legs and covered up to my waist in more snow and it just kept coming... I was close enough to bang with my fist on the door and luckily for me, Robert was just inside...he ran back into the barn and fetched the scoop shovel...then proceeded to dig me out... I have to admit that the snow was horribly heavy and I was very lucky that it hadn't let loose when I was directly under it... when it all slid off, the pile was taller than I was and stretched the whole 60 foot length of the barn... a close call....and I am sure Robert was thinking " Damn missed again...." hahahaha
Our neighbour who just recently came home from southern Alberta is now on his third day of snow removal from his yard....
Here are some pics I took while I was outside today...
January 22, 2011
And The Hell Continues
I know it must seem to you all that I spend a lot of my blogging time trashing my husband, but honestly, if he wasn't such a complete dipshit sometimes I wouldn't have to write about him. I love him to pieces but have fallen into this rut where I teeter totter in and out of LIKE with him. Does anyone else have that problem ?
I have just realized recently that my skills are horribly under-appreciated... I went up to the barn the other day to clean the office and make it cozier for Robert to spend his nights in...now, he tends to do everything short of standing on his head to keep me from going to the barn, not because he is concerned for my health but because it is always a frigging pig sty and he doesn't want to get yelled at.... anyway this time was no different....I get there and OMG... there are empty cat/dog food bags laying everywhere, dead flies on every flat surface...still there from the summer... every piece of paper that ever entered the office is still there but just laying all over, the bulletin board where important things like the list of cows to calf on what day...is so full of tractor parts tacked to it and god damned labels from bags of salt he fed during the summer that the list of cows to calf is just laying on the shelf...with two big coffee cup ring stains on it already and he only took it up there two days ago... there are empty wiener packages laying on the counter...from months ago...empty cans, empty oil containers, nails, crap crap crap...and more crap...so I roll up my sleeves and start by clearing the garbage off the counter...I had hoped to vacuum the dead flies and straw off of everything..but Robert came in started taking things out of my hands...and generally whining so finally I just used my arm to sweep all the crap onto the floor...(overly dramatic I know) set out the tags...and calving book and proceeded to tag the new baby calves...when I was done...I pissily, put my coat back on, grabbed my gloves and said, "fine, live like a pig ...but just so you know...this is how hoarders get started"....and walked to the house....so the barn is still a sty and it drives me insane every time I go up there but it has now become a point of contention between us...and I refuse to waste even one more breath complaining about the mess....(I never said I would quit blogging about it though) hahaha I have considered putting up a sign, a disclaimer, stating that I have nothing to do with the state of those premises.....It is just typical of his entire life I have come to think... he is so scattered and unorganized that everything around here is half ass done... I can't help but feel though, that it is partly my fault...because it really became more evident since I got sick... without my pair of hands out there to help he is floundering...badly...he wastes time doing stupid shit that could wait..and the important things don't get done or he just jimmy rigs them...
We lost another calf today, that makes three now...and unlike the first two where there was a legitimate reason for them dying this one is solely to blame on work not getting done... so, even though I feel like crap and am having a horrible winter, I have decided to drag my sorry ass outside tomorrow and try to help with the work...I think I will get him to fire up the CAT for me and push some snow...God knows there is so much of it that even the cows don't want to walk in it. The cow that calved today layed on her new baby...because it was the only spot that the snow was trampled down...it has been years since we have had a cow lay on her calf...and it really pisses me off. No excuse for it other than the snow needs to be moved...so the cows have more room to lay around.... See, we keep them up in a corral near the barn at night...but during the day while Robert is putting fresh straw out for bedding and putting feed in the feeders he lets the cows out into a pen in front of the house...but since we had all this bloody snow....the only place the snow is packed down is where he has spread a bale of greenfeed. (baled oats) otherwise they have to wade through four feet of snow.
So snow removal is my plan for the morrow. Now Robert has decided to take a twin calf that another cow had last night and transplant it on to the cow that killed her calf...hopefully it won't be too big a battle to convince her to take someone else's calf. some will take one no problemo and others fight till the bitter end and Robert loses patience with them and puts the hobbles on...so they can't kick... I feel bad for the little calf...one minute he has a loving mommy and sibling and the next he's put in a pen with a bitter, depressed bitch that wants to plaster him to the wall...but in all the years we have been doing this (33 yrs now) we have only ever had to pail feed one calf, that the calfless cow just refused to take...needless to say she didn't get to stay here...we kept the calf and pail fed it and shipped the stubborn cow. When all else fails we pull out the OLD SPICE aftershave....hahaha a couple of drops of that on the cows nose and the calf and within a couple of days they are a pair...it's all the cow can smell so she can't tell if the calf in the pen with her is hers or some one Else's. The only draw back to that plan is that we have to smell it right along with her....yuk...but even at that there is a silver lining...it covers up the smell of cat urine, from the TOM cat spraying in the barn...
On another note: for those of you who have been to my house...you might recall the dead skeletal remains of a once lovely Ficus tree that I have standing on my deck just outside of our dining room window...the one with the lovely little bird nests in it...Well, I am sad to say that I will be looking for a new crafty display for that area of the deck due to the damned kitten who lives on our deck (question is for how much longer) He takes extreme pleasure in climbing my brittle branched ficus tree and has destroyed the robin's nest already, and in the past few days has broken all the lower branches completely off the tree...and just this morning his mother.....the retarded cat...leapt into her second childhood by climbing the damned thing too and totally stripped the remaining branches from it...the two culprits together then proceeded to shred the two little chickadee nests that were still in the tree....beyond recognition... I might add. So I have had thrust home to me, rather abruptly, once again, why I dislike cats hanging around the house...especially kittens...I had forgotten just how destructive they are..but now I remember. I have enlisted Robert in helping me lure these cats up to the barn where all the other cats reside. They get milk and food there so they won't suffer...in fact they will be far better off up there, because if they wreck even one more thing here at the house I am going to pull out the pellet gun... I'll be sure and keep you posted ...on how we make out with that project.
I have just realized recently that my skills are horribly under-appreciated... I went up to the barn the other day to clean the office and make it cozier for Robert to spend his nights in...now, he tends to do everything short of standing on his head to keep me from going to the barn, not because he is concerned for my health but because it is always a frigging pig sty and he doesn't want to get yelled at.... anyway this time was no different....I get there and OMG... there are empty cat/dog food bags laying everywhere, dead flies on every flat surface...still there from the summer... every piece of paper that ever entered the office is still there but just laying all over, the bulletin board where important things like the list of cows to calf on what day...is so full of tractor parts tacked to it and god damned labels from bags of salt he fed during the summer that the list of cows to calf is just laying on the shelf...with two big coffee cup ring stains on it already and he only took it up there two days ago... there are empty wiener packages laying on the counter...from months ago...empty cans, empty oil containers, nails, crap crap crap...and more crap...so I roll up my sleeves and start by clearing the garbage off the counter...I had hoped to vacuum the dead flies and straw off of everything..but Robert came in started taking things out of my hands...and generally whining so finally I just used my arm to sweep all the crap onto the floor...(overly dramatic I know) set out the tags...and calving book and proceeded to tag the new baby calves...when I was done...I pissily, put my coat back on, grabbed my gloves and said, "fine, live like a pig ...but just so you know...this is how hoarders get started"....and walked to the house....so the barn is still a sty and it drives me insane every time I go up there but it has now become a point of contention between us...and I refuse to waste even one more breath complaining about the mess....(I never said I would quit blogging about it though) hahaha I have considered putting up a sign, a disclaimer, stating that I have nothing to do with the state of those premises.....It is just typical of his entire life I have come to think... he is so scattered and unorganized that everything around here is half ass done... I can't help but feel though, that it is partly my fault...because it really became more evident since I got sick... without my pair of hands out there to help he is floundering...badly...he wastes time doing stupid shit that could wait..and the important things don't get done or he just jimmy rigs them...
We lost another calf today, that makes three now...and unlike the first two where there was a legitimate reason for them dying this one is solely to blame on work not getting done... so, even though I feel like crap and am having a horrible winter, I have decided to drag my sorry ass outside tomorrow and try to help with the work...I think I will get him to fire up the CAT for me and push some snow...God knows there is so much of it that even the cows don't want to walk in it. The cow that calved today layed on her new baby...because it was the only spot that the snow was trampled down...it has been years since we have had a cow lay on her calf...and it really pisses me off. No excuse for it other than the snow needs to be moved...so the cows have more room to lay around.... See, we keep them up in a corral near the barn at night...but during the day while Robert is putting fresh straw out for bedding and putting feed in the feeders he lets the cows out into a pen in front of the house...but since we had all this bloody snow....the only place the snow is packed down is where he has spread a bale of greenfeed. (baled oats) otherwise they have to wade through four feet of snow.
So snow removal is my plan for the morrow. Now Robert has decided to take a twin calf that another cow had last night and transplant it on to the cow that killed her calf...hopefully it won't be too big a battle to convince her to take someone else's calf. some will take one no problemo and others fight till the bitter end and Robert loses patience with them and puts the hobbles on...so they can't kick... I feel bad for the little calf...one minute he has a loving mommy and sibling and the next he's put in a pen with a bitter, depressed bitch that wants to plaster him to the wall...but in all the years we have been doing this (33 yrs now) we have only ever had to pail feed one calf, that the calfless cow just refused to take...needless to say she didn't get to stay here...we kept the calf and pail fed it and shipped the stubborn cow. When all else fails we pull out the OLD SPICE aftershave....hahaha a couple of drops of that on the cows nose and the calf and within a couple of days they are a pair...it's all the cow can smell so she can't tell if the calf in the pen with her is hers or some one Else's. The only draw back to that plan is that we have to smell it right along with her....yuk...but even at that there is a silver lining...it covers up the smell of cat urine, from the TOM cat spraying in the barn...
On another note: for those of you who have been to my house...you might recall the dead skeletal remains of a once lovely Ficus tree that I have standing on my deck just outside of our dining room window...the one with the lovely little bird nests in it...Well, I am sad to say that I will be looking for a new crafty display for that area of the deck due to the damned kitten who lives on our deck (question is for how much longer) He takes extreme pleasure in climbing my brittle branched ficus tree and has destroyed the robin's nest already, and in the past few days has broken all the lower branches completely off the tree...and just this morning his mother.....the retarded cat...leapt into her second childhood by climbing the damned thing too and totally stripped the remaining branches from it...the two culprits together then proceeded to shred the two little chickadee nests that were still in the tree....beyond recognition... I might add. So I have had thrust home to me, rather abruptly, once again, why I dislike cats hanging around the house...especially kittens...I had forgotten just how destructive they are..but now I remember. I have enlisted Robert in helping me lure these cats up to the barn where all the other cats reside. They get milk and food there so they won't suffer...in fact they will be far better off up there, because if they wreck even one more thing here at the house I am going to pull out the pellet gun... I'll be sure and keep you posted ...on how we make out with that project.
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